Ok, so somebody was offended by my sense of humour in a short lived, and now deleted thread. No problem. It's not the first time I've offended someone with a joke, and it wont be the last time I suspect.

Anyway, I had a plan for the thread and was going to bring it around to a more serious and relevant tone. Then it was gone. So I'll try again, this time going straight into the meat of the topic. So as to maybe not offend someone.

I said in the previous thread that people keep calling it a fucking cult, but I saw it more as a fuckless cult.

And in truth the fuckless cult was partly responsible for my departure.

Living in an dull marriage with infrequent sex, where the cult is continually interfering in the bedroom with its advice from old men that can't get it up anymore, does tend to cause one to reflect on life and it's true meaning. Is it me, am I being unreasonable?

The trouble for the cult is that this discontent with my marriage, and how things were being controlled by them through my wife, started me on some deep internal reflection on a multitude of things (not just the church), then suddenly it became obvious it was a fraud.

If the sex was awesome in the marriage, and the cult was into promoting sex in the marriage (making it a fucking cult) instead of making it so negative (a fuckless cult), then I probably would still be just blindly going through the cult motions. Stacking more and more stuff on my shelf.

I had a pretty big shelf, plenty of room up there for crazy church shit - blacks and priesthood, polygamy, JS horn dog, etc. You name it, I could fit it on there.

The one thing I realized couldn't fit on the shelf?

As a father, I couldn't understand why god himself, the supposed perfect being and most loving father in the universe was such a prick to his kids. I tried and tried to put that thing on my shelf. I moved polygamy over a bit, and shifted DNA evidence to the right to see if I could fit it on. No go.
Well then if I move a global flood, and 6000 year old earth to the left, and put BoA on top of the DNA evidence I'll have room. Nope.
Maybe I can resolve some shelf issues then? Missionary experience was a sales trip, not a spiritual experience. Nope can't resolve that, so it stays on the shelf.
God seems to have stopped talking to his prophets. Can't fix that one either, it stays on the shelf.

Ah fuck it! The church isn't true.




Honey, I just realized something......






No, it didn't lead to hot sex.

Don't conflate any given person's personal opinions and perspectives with the rules of RfM, which say...

You can't use certain words (the ones which are obvious to most everyone here) in the sub line...

...EVEN if, in their spelling or appearance, they are abbreviated.

This is not a personal opinion issue.

It is a "rules of RfM" issue.

Ok, Thanks. I thought what I'd put before was okay since it was abbreviated. I guess it wasn't abbreviated enough.

Is what I have now okay? Don't have a desire to stir up drama for the mods and admins.

scotslander Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ok, Thanks. I thought what I'd put before was
> okay since it was abbreviated. I guess it wasn't
> abbreviated enough.
>
> Is what I have now okay? Don't have a desire to
> stir up drama for the mods and admins.

I, personally, can accept it...but you have to remember that I am the lowest person on the totem pole here.

Policy is set above my own newbie pay grade. ;)

Fun words aside--Very nice piece about threesomes.

The problem with threesomes is that two always like each other a little more and one always becomes the third wheel.

One of my favorite songs is on Rome where Jack White sings the lyric, "Two against one--you and me against me." That was my relationship with the church and that's why Mormons need shelves.
It's always the Mormon church and you against you.

Luckily my shelf was much smaller than yours. Couldn't even find room for the MoF.

Exactly!

I just wanted to feel close and connected to my wife. Then the church would be a juicy piece of fruit artistically placed to decorate the delicious cake that was our marriage.

Instead the cult wanted to control every ingredient in the cake, in the exact ratios that it deemed made the best cake. The cult didn't want to just be on the side of our cake, they wanted right in the middle of it.

If the cult said the cake should be vanilla, heaven help me if I suggested maybe we should have a little chocolate in there.

If I suggested to my ex-W that maybe the cult should stay out of the cake ingredients, and focus on being nice looking fruit on the side, then I was wrong, the cult was right. They knew what made the best cake.

My ex-husband was a never-mo, but I was "in" the "gospel" when we met and were married.

Looking back, I see how it shaped and influenced who I went out with, and how my relationships went. Dating was all about who you're going to marry, and that kind of took away from just letting a friendship develop into intimacy. Emphasis was always on marriage, and making babies to grow the kingdom.

It does make the laymembers dependent on the church for everything. If things weren't "quite right," then it was my fault for not doing everything 100% by the gospel book. Or for marrying outside the church. Honestly, was not attracted to LDS men anyway.

I was LDS for the first half of my life. Wonder what the rest of it is going to be like since I've been out? I'm not burdened by LDS doctrine anymore. Or not being good enough, or perfect enough. That's just nonsense. Self-acceptance is allowing grace to shape who I am now, instead of fear.

Free to be ourselves. I'm glad that's in the past, and is no longer the present. Our attitudes help shape who we are and what we're to become. I can compartmentalize that being LDS had its share of negative effects on my life; but it's in the past, where it belongs.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/28/2015 04:30PM by amyjo.

You could fix it - edit your sub line and then repost the same thing, if the only thing wrong with it is the sub line. (Can you remember what you wrote?)

But the replies were priceless too.

Nightingale Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You could fix it - edit your sub line and then
> repost the same thing, if the only thing wrong
> with it is the sub line. (Can you remember what
> you wrote?)
>
> But the replies were priceless too.


Yeah do it again......

I would, but I can't quite remember the words I put down.

I've tried to say it again, but just don't seem to have the words I used on the tip of fingers to type.

Our loss.

and see if it can be retrieved. The rule about cussing has been around a very long time. If it can be figured out what it is, it's going to be deleted. Cussing is to be kept in the body of a post, that includes names as well. This is part of keeping the board newbie friendly. Also per the guidelines please warn in your subline for cussing in the post.

No worries about the lost joke, not worth the trouble.

Thanks for the reminder of the warning of swearing to come in the body of the text. However, if the OP doesn't swear, but some of the follow up posters do, how does that rule help?

Is the word " cussing" a Utah word....?

I always called it " swearing"

In reference to your above OP, your experience with the church and your wife sounds eerily similar to mine.
Over the past 10 years I cannot count the number of times we've discussed, debated and argued the priority and influence the church should occupy in our marriage.

Your "cake" analogy is perfect.
I once felt my DW and I had a small place for the church in our relationship, but certainly not the governing board setting every policy and procedure for us.
Which it sadly has become.

This is especially true in the bedroom. But instead of it being a f***less church, they have expanded their influnce and "rules" to include any intimacy we use to enjoy.
Gone are the days of watching my beautiful and sexy DW standing in front of our bathroom mirror wearing the lacey bra and panties while she does her hair and make-up.
I cannot complain about that since I once agreed to the whole temple thing and garment wearing. (Which I now regret)

But as you may have experienced yoyrself, the DW took things up a few notches, and immersed herself in the TBM lifestyle, or what I call, being a general authority's wife. Incorporating everything that comes from the pulpit into everyday life without question.
EVERY F***less DAY!!!

Mormonism,..... its not just for Sunday's anymore.