Posted by:
Becca
(
)
Date: May 07, 2015 08:28AM
To continu the tread:
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1576991My first time was right before I got married.
It was a mix of WEIRD, SERIOUSLY???, and awe
I had such low self esteem that I was desperate to be loved, liked, accepted. I wanted to do 'do right' so badly it didn't leave too much space in my mind for any 'what the hell?' thoughts..
Although I clearly remember making the slitting my throat motion and looking next to me at my mother... and she smiled and nodded at me as if to say: "yes..go on..most normal thing in the world..nothing to worry about.."
It was weird.
Once through the veil.. I felt nothing... people looked at me in expectation.. hoping for a big emotional reaction or something I think.. but I felt nothing.. just numb..
And all I could think was:
IS THAT IT!???
After all that hype...
Then I was rushed off to another changing room.. and rushed up some stairs with the old bags shusshing at me: Hurry! they are all waiting!!!..
I was sealed to my husband in a rush... and we were out of there before I knew it...