I had posted about how my parents decided to go see my nieces new house instead of seeing my son graduate from college. My sister sent me a text that she is taking my parents home early and driving right past the city my son is going to school in. The reason parents have to go home early and also not watch my son walk across the stage is so they can do a shift at the Bishops Storehouse.

Pathetic cult.

That's awful. Not surprising, but still awful.

What is inexplicably hurtful is oblivious to Mormons.

I would call them out on this passive aggressive crap. Wait, then you would be "offended" while they are racking up brownie points for Kolob.

You can't win, just shake your head.

Very sorry, themaster. Congrats on the graduation!

With parents like that , who needs enemies?

I feel for ya.

You should call them up and tell them how you feel. Let them know that you are basing your relationship with them by their actions, by their fruit...
Feel free to invite them to things in the future but recognize that their idea of a relationship is a lot different than yours. Feel free to tell them that as well.

I submit to you that it is very likely they would hem and haw as they listened to the OP's complaints, politely disagree and then once they hung up, or closed the door or whatever, they would then laugh and cackle about the fact that they're getting to him and that it was only a matter a time before he was back into TBM activity. Praise Jesus!

One thing I do know is I would NEVER invite them to anything again.

My ex's parents showed very little interest in our children--and they are the only twins in the entire family line of genealogy. They'd often ask whether we had boys or girls or what their names were. I decided it was their loss and I cut these toxic people out of my childrens' lives. We did attend their funerals--for their father.

I also saw how much it hurt my ex for them to ignore his kids, but then he'd lived without much attention as a child himself.

You know how the mormons will tell each other "well, they'll get their rewards" to make themselves feel better?

I guess all we can do is say "well, it's their loss"

call them out on it

At this point, it would be a mistake to further the invitation of your parents to the graduation. Its gone past the point of a polite invitation to them.
If they did manage to show up at the graduation after all the tenuous and strained feelings, your son's graduation wouldnt be about him anymore, it would be about them.

My advice, let it go, and enjoy your son's day!!!
Congatulations to him and to a proud parent.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/09/2015 12:31AM by superman4691.

+100



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/09/2015 01:33PM by iris.

The TBM mindset is just that, "mind set" and there doesn't seem to be anything to do other than to try to move beyond the hurt and discouragement.

My husband and I once drove seven hours to a coastal town in S. Calif. to meet my brother and sister-in-law, staying at a resort next to the ocean getting there in the early afternoon on Saturday. They left the next morning at 3:00 am to make it to their sacrament meeting in Utah because he was the chorister which baffled me because it is not that difficult to get someone to sub in that calling. So basically we drove 14 hours (round trip) to spend half of that time hanging out with them and this was before they knew we were unbelievers, and they liked us. We could only scratch our heads in wonder and spend they day in the ocean, having fun.

so glad those bishop store houses aren't near me.

TBM etiquette stinks! I once had a party when I was TBM and sent invitations to an all Mormon group requesting they R.S.V.P. Those who did not plan on coming did not bother to RSVP. Those who planned on coming did RSVP but then most did not show at all or came at very last minute. Their reasons for not showing or coming late were all church related as in the bishop asked them to do something at the last minute so, of course, the church trumped my stupid party and they knew I would understand. About three people showed-up on time who said they would come. There were lots of wasted refreshments.

Church before family every time. Apostate (lost sheep) are on the bottom rung of society. What a great family church (NOT)!

Here is hoping your branch of the family tree prunes/breeds out the brain dead genes.

they chose to do that.

themaster Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The reason parents have to go home
> early and also not watch my son walk across the
> stage is so they can do a shift at the Bishops
> Storehouse.

I'd say, "Yeah, don't tell me that. Tell my son why his grandparents won't be there for his very important day."

(we live in NY—they in UT). We did more than our share of visiting and they had only visited once or twice for no more than a few days. So finally, since it was their turn we waited to see how long it would take them to pay a visit without seeing their grandkids. Ten+ years is a long time. Finally they decided they would grace us with their presence and we were surprised when they actually booked their flights to stay a full week. But not to worry...in the end they decided they could not miss two saturdays working in the temple so they cut their stay short. All those years not seeing their grandkids but they gave up a few days more with them for their temple.

Now that I think of it they probably made the story up and never really had tickets for a longer stay to begin with. That would better fit their mo.

A very close family friend passed away and his funeral was on a Saturday. My brother said he could only go to the viewing because of his church calling. I don't know what calling he has that keeps him busy on a Saturday. Obviously it was more important than friends and family. I suppose that something is better than nothing but the point here is that church takes people away from things that are much more important and keeps them from doing an act of kindness that would be helpful to their friends and/or family.

Cut them off.

My brother lost a child in an unfortunate accident.

His wife's parents did not come to the hospital to comfort their daughter. Her mother was scheduled for elective surgery so they could go on a couples mission.

Delaying the surgery meant they would delay the start of their mission.

Family first!

It is worse than a mere Cult. Mormonism is a mental illness.

The rudest people in America.

I've had Mormons be rude to me, too, when I was still a model TBM. Now that we have resigned, the rudeness is less, just because there are less Mormons in our lives.

I used to take the rudeness personally, and I did a lot of crying, but the rudeness is not about you, but about them. Stop and think, and turn the thinking around to the most selfish scenario possible, and that is usually the true motive of narcissists. For example, your parents probably didn't want to sit in a long graduation procession. It is not a Mormon event, and not about THEM. Being shown around the niece's house, they were probably given the royal treatment, and maybe a free meal. At the graduation they would be one of the crowd.

Narcissists' first thought is, "What's in it for me?"

Anyway, You're thinking too deeply--they're probably not plotting anything. Maybe your sister is pushier than you, and she wouldn't take no for an answer. You and I both know that the Mormon cult (the Bishop's storehouse, and missions) never takes no for an answer. Rather than face the Mormon threats and shunning, they chose to give in. Your parents might simply be beaten-down. Mormons are victims, as well as perpetrators.

I get through the hurt, by thinking that the shunners are missing out on some great relationships with some very charming and interesting people. Your parents will miss out on an exciting time in your son's life. I have a feeling they have already missed plenty. My ex, who abandoned me and his children, never had the love I had, nor the companionship, the joy, the fun times, of being with the children.

It's hard to admit that certain people are idiots, but they really are! Do you really want someone there, who doesn't want to be there? They want to be in some imaginary CK, and, yes, they are mentally ill.

(Pooped, if you had invited a GA to your party, everyone would have been there, and early!) I gave up on trying to have a party with Mormons. One Mormon chorister came an hour late to a dinner party I gave, because she was rehearsing for church (with one other person), and I had to stop visiting with my guests, and go back into the kitchen, and get out all the food, heat it up, and serve it to her. Afterwards, I regretted doing that. She was not a friend.

Taking time away from family (because THEY are not [arbitrary] "worthy": a way for people to make themselves feel bigger than they are while making others smaller than they are), with the promise that you'll have more time - in the future - (to be together - AGAIN) even if it is after everyone is dead!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/09/2015 08:36PM by moremany.