I felt the Holy Ghost the other day. I felt it stronger than I have at any time in my life, including when I went to the temple. I can no longer go on being an unbeliever. Let me tell you what happened. You see, I was playing around on youtube, when I came across the trailer for the new Star Wars movie. Being a fan, I naturally clicked it. I felt good, watching the trailer, until...until...until Han Solo and Chewy appeared at the very end, and I lost it. Tears of joy, as I felt an indescribable happiness came over me. I can no longer be an unbeliever. I know now with every fiber of my being that Wookies are real. All the anti-Star Wars lies I have heard, like how a parsec is a measure of distance, not time, or how the prequels were no good, just melted away. I have once again started to wear the sacred garments of this holy religion, in this case a plastic molded storm trooper helmet, and Jedi robes. The Holy Ghost has testified of the truthfulness of these things to me, and I can not deny them.

Also, Gungans are just Ewoks who were less valiant in the pre-existence.

I watched the Matrix and had an overwhelming desire to swallow the pill that would make me believe everything in life is wonderful. I got the colors mixed-up and here I am, still seeing the world realistically. Dang!

Pooped Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I watched the Matrix and had an overwhelming
> desire to swallow the pill that would make me
> believe everything in life is wonderful. I got the
> colors mixed-up and here I am, still seeing the
> world realistically. Dang!


You know, it might not be so bad to work a deal out with Mr. Smith, choose the conditions of your life and go back into the Matrix and forget all the crap......

I envy your witness and belief. However, I cannot experience that joy because. ... Jar Jar. <sob>

Jar Jar is not doctrinal. He was inserted into the movies after they were made, by an evil Sith lord, trying to discredit the work of the Prophet George Lucas.

I'm afraid I lost my testimony that Lucas is a prophet after he changed the Doctrine That Han Shot First. I mean, when something that fundamental is reversed, he clearly is no prophet. <sob>

You don't understand the doctrine that is at issue here. Both versions are essentially correct. In both cases, Han felt through the Force that Greedo was about to shoot, and so acted through the force to shoot Greedo first. In the original version, Han used the force to stop Greedo from pulling the trigger. Brother Lucas then received revelation, that while events did indeed happen this way, they were not the full part of the story. Han also used the force to push Greedo's aim away, at which point Greedo fired off into the wrong direction, and Han shot him. It did not matter that Han was unaware that he could control the force, or that one version omitted certain facts that the other corrected. One version is represents the truth, and the other version represents a higher truth.

It all makes sense if you read the FAIR section on Wookipedia.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/15/2015 12:05PM by forbiddencokedrinker.

You present points for me to consider, Brother. Perhaps confusion is to be expected as I transition from purple milk to Ton Ton entrails in understanding. I can ztill testify that I experience a burning in my crotch when contemplating Padmé, yeah, and it came to pass that my little factory did bear witness to her hotness.

Best thread in a year at least

I was a Lucasfilm employee for 10 years.
I'm *in* StarWars Episode I (as an extra in the crowd scene at the end in Naboo).

I can testify it's all a scam. A fun one, to be sure, but a scam. None of it is "true."

Don't get sucked in :)

I am sorry, I don't talk to apostates. You just hate the Star Wars movies because you either want to turn to the Dark Side, or a droid offended you or something.

forbiddencokedrinker Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am sorry, I don't talk to apostates. You just
> hate the Star Wars movies because you either want
> to turn to the Dark Side, or a droid offended you
> or something.

Yes, R2D2 did roll over my foot at a party once. And he didn't apologize (neither did the guy controlling him).
But I didn't leave because I was offended...I swear. I could have stayed on, faking belief, for many years. But selling to Disney...that was too much.

JJ Abrams is the Brigham Young of our time, taking over previous scams and perpetrating them (Star Trek, Star Wars), and over-using lens flare to an obscene level. He teaches doctrines not in the "bible" of either franchise, yet people still suck it up. Sigh.

<tongue firmly in cheek of course, I love all the movies>

You are confusing the production with the movies, with the truth of the movies. Brother Lucas did not create Star Wars. He instead translated the script for Star Wars from a set of Golden Movie Reals. You can't see them, because you lack faith, and were not chosen to be one of the special witnesses to said artifacts. George Lucas, under the direction of the Angel Obi Kenobi, then created the movies, using conventional means and actors, in order to share the Great Truth of the Force with our modern world. Brother Abrams then took up the mantel, brought the Holy Franchise to the Sacred Promised Land of Walt Disney, and put down the apostasy of the extended universe.

Um, ok...may the force be with you, then.

(ifi backs away slowly...)

Hokay, so there's a scene in Return Of The Jedi in which Papa Vader informs his Sith Daddy that a small group of rebels has landed on Endor and that his Jedi young-un is with them.

The Emperor asks Vader if he is sure. Vader replies "I have felt him!"

All this ghost and off-spring 'feeling' is really startin' to creep me out.

Stop it!

Timothy



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/16/2015 08:06AM by Timothy.

That is all.

Innanameofagalaxyfarfaraway, amen.

The prequels are the Book of Abraham of Star Wars.

curse you all. I had to go and read about Han Shot First, because I had no idea what you are talking about. Now I know doctrine as been changed over time and my testimony has been destroyed.

My wife is crying, and wants to leave me for a jedi that honors the force!

Indeed. Discovering that there were multiple conflicting accounts of the Han - Greedo story was a major shelf stress for me. If Prophet Lucas made that up, what else did he make up?!

I am afraid I must bring up one more contentious doctrinal issue weighing my shelf down. That is the doctrine of Theatrical Release.

Not so long ago (1977), and in a galaxy very, very near (Earth), a film was released to theaters that was the most correct film on Earth. Yeah, it brought forth truth and the restoration of the Force.

But, lo, all publishing since then has contained errors and contamination. When will Brother Lucas again bring forth the Pure Release? Why does he bring forth false interpretations, yeah, some of them exceedingly subtle? Is this a test?

Me-sa think he a profit, not prophet.

Lucy Harris is holding the True Release to see if Lucas can produce it again in the same form.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/16/2015 04:18AM by sonoma.