I'm curious, what are some of the most ridiculous "prerequisites" for marriage that you all have seen among TBM's?

One that I seriously can't understand is the "Must be an Eagle Scout" that a lot of young women have. I mean sure that can be an admirable title....but denying to date a boy just because he doesn't have it??

What are some other ridiculous "must-haves" you've heard?

Here are a few of my "prerequisites" when I was a TBM:
- Must be a returned missionary
- Must be temple worthy
- Must be active in the church
- Must hold the priesthood

but they weren't as important to me as the facts that he was thoroughly decent, intelligent, funny, honest, well educated, bilingual and bi-cultural (as I am) and shares my love of learning.

We've had our share of disagreements over the years, but they have been remarkably few. We generally see eye-to-eye on just about everything. If we don't, there is a very genteel "agree to disagree" policy in place and we don't fight about things.

I guess I learned a lot from getting marriage totally wrong the first time. I picked the best of the best when I found this guy!

I wanted intelligence, fairmindedness, and most of all a sense of humor!

Doggone it, I forgot to include money!

I was taught that all that mattered is that they had a temple recommend and a penis.

What is the must have lists for the girls?

I eventually wonder why I never attracted a TBM....
>.<

virginity

Tall, slender, blonde, good pedigree, MODEST but savvy fashion sense, decorating skills, full array of domestic skills, fertile ovaries, administrative (but not executive--that's for the priesthood holders) abilities, an ability to stretch a possibly modest single paycheck, sexual fidelity, and subservience.

Well then.... this explains EVERYTHING muahaha

On the other hand I'm glad it never worked out with one of them. But maybe that was my fault too.

I must have been lucky back in the late 60's, the dress code wasn't as severe, tight jeans, bare shoulders, spaghetti straps, mini skirts were allowed.

There wasn't a need to get a recommend to go to a ward dance.

I think the must haves at the time for marriage was the RM thing, but everything else was off the table for dating.

Best summer of my life was in Star Valley.

tbm girl list for a boy: tall, muscular, handsome, Nazi Aryan features, leadership, funny, intelligent, narcissistic tendencies. The alpha, RM, medical school/engineering. (Ryan Gosling with garments)

tbm boy list for a girl: tall, blonde, size 2, Scandinavian decent, white and delightsome, not too educated, not too smart, don't outshine the boy. (Taylor Swift covered up, of course)

When I was on my mission, a girl started writing to me -- one I'd know from my home stake, but barely.
I appreciated the "letters from home." She sent me little goodies now and then, as well. We wrote regularly. NO talk of "girlfriend," marriage, or anything else.

When I got home, she assumed we would get engaged within a week. Had me over to dinner at her parents' house, was all over me physically...and asked me when I was going to ask her to marry me. When I honestly told her I wasn't anywhere near ready to get married, and that we hardly knew each other, she blew up. Left all the letters I'd sent her on my doorstep the next morning, on fire. No kidding.

One thing she told me that night when I said I wasn't ready to get married at all, or to HER: "But, you have everything I demand in a husband! Returned missionary, eagle scout, Mel. priesthood, faithful (ha! I was already on my way out!), smart, and handsome! There's no reason this couldn't work!"

"There's one big reason," I replied. "I don't love you."
"Oh, that will come in time!" she said.

Sigh.

"There's one big reason," I replied. "I don't love you."
"Oh, that will come in time!" she said.

This is actually what a lot of the muslim women told me, who were forced into a marriage and finalky escaped from an abusive relationshipinto the women's shelter I used to work ....They can learn to love the guy. It'll come in time .....



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/06/2015 06:34PM by newnameabigail.

My mom always told me that..."love will come with time" bullcrap! I still hate her for it. And for the fact that I ended up without whom I loved! Some things you never get over!

You totally escaped a life time of boiling bunnies by standing up for yourself with that one! (For younger readers that was a reference to Michael Douglas movie, "Fatal Attraction.")

Whew!

Hmmm... Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You totally escaped a life time of boiling bunnies
> by standing up for yourself with that one! (For
> younger readers that was a reference to Michael
> Douglas movie, "Fatal Attraction.")
>
> Whew!

Don't I know it.
The girl in question married another RM. Three months after he got back from his mission. They proceeded to pop out six kids in 8 years.
The husband, typically, got mixed up in mormon MLM stuff. Never made any money. They and the six kids lived mostly in poverty. About eight years ago, the husband apparently ran off with a non-mo "vixen," and left the wife destitute. She moved back in with her family, with the kids. Still a "true believer." I ran into her at the grocery store a couple of years ago, and not only got the whole story, but got felt out to see if I was still "available." How sad she was to learn I was happily married for 23 years!

"The man I marry must have a nine-inch . . . "

penis?

Trouser snake?

One-eyed willie?

9 inches, you must have faith sister.

It amazes me how many pre-requisites are listed here. The founder, JS had only two requisites; that the person have a vagina and be breathing.
People sure got picky after JS.

A job?! Outside of the church .

One mission comp told me that his patriarchal blessing promised him he would marry a virgin.

I asked why.

he said, "because it says my wife will be pure so that means she will not have had sex before marriage"

I said, "What if she had sex but repented, wouldnt she still be pure then"

He said, "No its not the same she has to be a virgin"

I said, "So god can theoretically forgive someone but you cant, why do you think you are better than god?"

And he sat there with silent because he was a fucking idiot and a half.

For girls they say: Virginity
But yeah for guys TBMS say: Priesthood and RM

They dont know how to judge depth of character because so many of them are so damn shallow.

I remember in a Sunday school class when I was still in primary, so I must have been like 11 or something we had to come up with a list of qualities we wanted in our ideal spouse. Yeah. At 11. Obviously I had no clue, knew I had no clue and don't remember what I ended up coming up with. I will forever remember the class though because a boy in my class decided that he wanted his future wife to have a naturally good scent. The teacher tried to gently tell him that that was probably not a possibility but he wouldn't be persuaded otherwise.

I ran into the bestman from this guys wedding years later and told him that was my most vivid memory of this kid and he was very sad to have heard it from me after the wedding so he couldn't include it in his best man speech!

If you have spent any time at BYU, you know that there are very few guys with classic good looks. Lots and lots of "pencil neck geeks" as my wife calls them. She's very opinionated, cuttingly so.

Some guys at BYU actually asked me what my requirements were for a husband. I replied that I hadn't made a list. I wanted to say, "Anyone who says that out loud is off the list."

Inevitably after a few dates, questions such as, "Does the difference in age matter to you?" (This guy was five years older...) The worst was simply dancing with guys who would rattle off genealogy linked to GAs... Um, next, please. Ugh.

Is/was bishop's Secretary a real calling? I typed up financial/tithing reports with a bunch of men after church on campus. I thought that was a male/ward clerk calling?

To share this with husbands/wives to be:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/22/female-masturbation-klittra_n_7637234.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices&ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000054#slide=5576846

It'll save a lot talks, miscommunications and hurt feelings.!

That was the deal breaker for me

I was eating in a local restaurant in Provo several years ago. Two nice looking girls sat down the booth behind me. Probably 25-30 years old. All they talked about was all the qualifications they expected their future husbands to have. all based on the high standards of the Mormons. All I could think of was,, what do you have to offer? Probably still single. What a joke,,



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/24/2015 06:29PM by unworthy.

As time goes by, the available pool of "worthy" mormon men shrinks as these women's requirements grow ever more stringent.

They get their list polished to where they know exactly what they want.

By this time there are no men left who even come close to these good sisters' "standards".

Lo and behold they must "settle" or remain single for life. I know of several ladies that fit this profile.

And I knew a bucket of men in those U of U singles wards who were the same way. Maybe they were waiting for a revelation or Taylor Swift or both.

True dat