I have a couple siblings married in the temple, but I was not invited to either ceremony.

But I keep reading that the Unworthy must wait outside. What does that mean? Do you sit in the car? In the lobby? Where exactly do you wait?

When my daughter got married, I went to breakfast with a friend.

When my son got married, I waited in the temple waiting room with my ex husband who had also left the church. It was packed with other "unworthies".

What did you do? Sit there and contemplate What You Have Done? (to become unworthy i mean)

You can thumb through tattered church magazines or perhaps watch LDS propaganda on a monitor set up for your edification.

Mostly felt sad that I wasn't seeing the weddings of either child and being judged by all the extended family who were there inside the sealing room.

Of course, we were invited to be in the pictures as if we had been included all along.

I was invited to stay in the parking lot with 6 small nieces and nephews. Thank God some other family member pointed out that was insane.

What would stop you from setting up a tailgate on the temple grounds? That might actually be fun.

If one chooses to wait outside the temple for a family member they can wait in the lobby, outside on temple grounds, in their car. Most people that wait outside end up watching other people's children while the worthy ones attend the sealing inside.
I recently waited outside for my son to be married. We actually didn't show up until we knew they would be coming out.
We chose to be there for the pictures. We knew it was important to our son. I'm not sure I would do it again. I think if one of our other children decide to be married in the temple and we are excluded, we may be taking a trip to Hawaii during that time.
It was in my opinion very humiliating. I will be tempted to tell them we love them and we will see them when they get back from their honeymoon.

runner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> I think if one of our other children decide to be married in the temple and we are excluded, we may be taking a trip to Hawaii during that time.

> It was in my opinion very humiliating. I will be tempted to tell them we love them and we will see them when they get back from their honeymoon.

I have already told my TBM son that if he has a temple marriage I won't be waiting outside of the temple, won't be jumping into any temple grounds pictures with a happy smiling face, and most likely will not be attending his Momony reception. I will catch up with him and his bride a week or two later after things have settled down for a nice dinner though. He seemed fine with that.

In many cases, it would be fine to wait inside the temple--in the lobby. You don't need to sit in the parking lot.

Since you would just be sitting there waiting for the ceremony to finish, you could show up a bit late.

Be respectful--don't show up drunk or after having just finished a smoke and dress nice. If you do that, I don't think you'll have any problems.

Unworthy family must wait in building totally separate from the temple or choose their own wait place sitting on the benches outside or in their own car or a nearby business location.

I think I'll start a business. Nice comfortable place with plenty of delicious coffee, healthy snacks, and TVs. Comfortable chairs to relax in while watching your favorite show or chatting with fellow Unworthies who were TBM the last time you saw them. A game room to shoot pool or play video games while you wait.

Put one across the street from or next to every temple.

The name? We're Not Worthy. Put Wayne and Garth on the sign (SNL) but we'd all know what it really means.

Soooo, who's first in line for a franchise?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/02/2015 05:15PM by lillium.

Brilliant idea. You'd have to hire extra staff on Saturdays in June.

ME!ME!ME!


I WISH I would've had something like that to take the little kids to when I was conned into watching while my sister and her husband got married. But then, the parents would have had to be responsible and find someone ELSE who was physically able to watch that many little kids!

I told my DD and her now husband that they didn't have to worry about me... I was NOT going to wait outside. I was gonna go to a movie, or maybe help set up the reception. But, since I couldn't watch my daughter get married, I didn't need to be there either.

Later, the young couple changed venues for various reasons. They married in the cultural hall, where they held their reception.


But, to be honest, IF I were ever invited to be a 'second class' citizen, I'd be upfront and tell the next couple the exact same thing. IF I can't watch the event, I AM gonna go see an enjoyable movie, and catch up with the couple later.

At my wedding when I was TBM-ish enough to not know better, I didnt get to have my sister, my favorite person in the world besides my finance, at the ceremony because she was "unworthy." But there was her wierd, obnoxious, ultra-TBM uncle there. Pisses me off to think how I dissed my cool sister on that big day. I'm not into fancy ceremonies or receptions, but excluding the people who are closest to me was absurd.

If you are invited to act as a second-class family or friend and you choose to do so, then you have accepted that role.

I get that it is easy to blame Mormonism for this, but, in reality, the bride and groom who decide to be married in this manner are the ones to blame.

They have decided it is more important for them to be married in this manner than to have mom/dad/sibling/aunt/BFF or whoever present. This is their choice, and they should own it.

Family and friends then have a choice to accept that or not. Too often on here I see people who will let the bride/groom slide on responsibility and blame the church.

My opinion is that they have that backwards. They should call the couple on their behavior and decide whether or not they will accept it.

I agree, I think if we called people out on their choices, we may see a lot more people making the choice to marry and then be sealed later. Who knows this may become the norm soon.

Yes, the couple is responsible for the choices they make but I won't let church leaders off the hook. Remember, they enforce the coercive one year punishment for those who don't marry in the temple. It is not doctrine it is just their policy, a policy that is not uniformly required in other countries.

They created and continue to enforce the culture in which young couples don't really consider making another choice.

Remember, it's a cult and cult members are often not capable of thinking for themselves.

I have been told many times I am,,, unworthy. and I enjoy it!

You enjoy being unworthy? Or being called unworthy? :-D

I'm glad I didn't have to wait outside the temple when my youngest step sister got married, as I had other plans that weekend. My mom did go, but decided to wait outside because she thought the temple was too creepy with all of the workers wearing white. She was told that she didn't have to wear her reception dress, so she was underdressed in slacks and a blouse, while everyone else wore the same things they were going to wear at the reception that evening. She was still allowed to be in the pictures, but my mom kept herself in the back so people wouldn't see that she was quite underdressed.

When my niece got married a few months ago, we showed up just in time for the happy couple to come out.

I intentionally wore black slacks and a blouse and I plan to dress that way every time I'm invited to the after wedding pics.

That's a great way to make sure no one viewing the photos later mistakenly thinks you're one of Them. Brilliant idea!

Those of us who waited in the LDS waiting room all came done very ill with the "Nauvoo flu" between 12 and 24 hours later! The bug was going around Nauvoo. It was a very bad illness and getting home several were hospitalized - I was quite ill for a week.

Maid of honor at numerous Mormon weddings. Wait, um, the place of honor is in the parking lot with the bride's father, or the Hotel Utah with another exmo brother, babysitting... Quick, jump in the photos at the temple, as if we're a real family! Say, "Cheesy!"

You should make the waiting party RVs red, with devil horns, a patio awning, full bar, great music, a mist machine to keep cool in the summer, a wading pool with red rubber ducks with devil horns floating in it, iced coffee... Who feels VIP now? =)

My husband hasn't formally resigned yet. I told ours son's that Dad would be the most righteous guy in the place, even if he showed up drunk and naked with a tattoo on his be-hind.

That WOULD be Righteous!

You should bring a box of cigars and light'em up in the temple lobby. And if anyone objects, let them know you've been inspired to update Jesus the Christ.