My family is part Mormon (90%) and part sinner/freethinker (10%). As you may well deduce, I'm in the ten percent. My lovely aunt and her new husband of one year threw a party for the whole family on the 4th of July. She and he are wonderful hosts and do a lot to accommodate the 90 percent. Meanwhile, the 10 percent do their best to 'accommodate' the 90 percent (i.e., no alcohol, tea, or tobacco; hot drinks in July?) So, what ends up happening is the 10 percent are the 'unfriendlies' who try to accommodate the 'friendlies' who are the 90 percent. It only works one way here.

So, what ends up happening is the 'unfriendlies' pack together and plot a future time to have a meeting without the 'friendlies' so that a good time can be had by all (read: alcohol, music, dancing, loud laughter, speaking ill of Mormon leaders and god's appointed whatevers. And in the thick of things, no one ever notices this:

The ones who paid for the whole party, my dear aunt and her nevermo husband, are treated like shit for not going to church and being married in the temple. They are berated for having time to travel and do things instead of serving a mission. Meanwhile, most of the 90 percent are receiving help from either government or church financial entities. I'll never understand how a person can be on the dole and still be unsatisfied with the people who are footing the bill.

On a more personal detail, I've told several of my cousins over the years that I am not a Mormon anymore and I don't care to hear about their religion at gatherings. "Did you hear that BKP died this past week?". "Yes, why yes I did. Would you like me to tell you the context of how I heard it? I found out about it on exmormon.org to the glee of many people." That got rid of cousin #1.

"Did you hear that BKP died this past week?", asked my niece. "Yes, yes I did. I'm so sorry for your loss." "You know, this would be a good time to go back to church Uncle Cake. The lord is needing old men to lead his church today." "You know, honey-kitten, you might be right. Can you imagine me leading a sacrament meeting with my years of being out of the church?"

See left skid marks in the grass next to the horseshoe pits with the garbage cans filled with empty beer cans from the party the night before.

Cake

"Now the sermon today is taken from a magazine I found in a hedge. Now, uh, lipstick colours this season are, uh, mainly in the frosted pink area and, uh, nail colours to match, uh this reminds me rather of our Lord Jesus. Because, Surely, when Jesus went into Nazareth on a donkey, he must've gotten tarted up a bit."

LMAO You would make a fine Bishop, Cake.

I did stand up for myself. It was the poor hosts who, while trying to be gracious and accommodating, got hosed by the offending 90 percent. The problem, as with most of us here on this forum, is that we do stand up for ourselves it is sometimes at the expense of others. That is to say, my sweet aunt and her nevermo husband are now forever remembered as being the people who hosted that dreadful party where Uncle Cake decides to standup for the sinners/ freethinkers.

It was a fun event. People had fun. Jokes were shared. Memories made. And now I sound like Pompus S. Monsoon. Better go now.

Cake

"The Mormons are from Mars..".

Sorry, learning how to use this forum. I posted my last post under blue orchid's post when I meant to post it under ificouldhietokolob's post.

Bloody hell.

Cake

"We used to have pipes...".

What you did is so important Cake. It takes guts.

The 90% you are talking about are exactly the types who take your silence as agreement. That take it as your consent to their behavior; to their superiority.

Keeping your mouth closed is not necessarily taking the high road. It feeds the condescension and arrogance. They take your kindness as weakness every time and assume you see them as superior as they are trying to see themselves. (Really superior people aren't even thinking in those terms.)

At the end of your life you always regret what you didn't do, what you didn't say, not what you did.

I love your post for those reasons.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/08/2015 10:15AM by blueorchid.

That was amusing :)

If I can relate my own experience...I think it's the fear of the 10% that keeps them "downtrodden" and treated poorly, at least as much as it is the churchiness and judging of the 90%.

After I was out about 3 years (about 30 years ago), there came a time when I simply decided I wasn't going to pretend to be something I wasn't anymore. I wasn't going to go to gatherings that included mormons and not have coffee, or a beer (if appropriate normally). I wasn't going to listen politely to testimonies and pretend to care -- I wasn't going to pretend to be a mormon so as not to "offend" those who were.

I tried out my new attitude first at a family reunion in Utah (I lived, and still do, in CA). It was at a public park. I brought iced tea and the fixins to make Long Island Iced Teas. I made a batch in a cooler, and let everyone know what it was, and to help themselves, right after pouring myself a cold tall one. Anyone who came up to me and started talking about church stuff, I'd interrupt -- saying essentially, "Cousin (or whatever), I love and care about you, but I can't stand the mormon church. Let's talk about real things instead, 'k?"

Yeah, I got some judgment. I got some nasty looks. I also got some of my "in the closet" cousins and others to have some booze. I had conversations NOT about the church with some family members for the first time EVER. I even got one of the "patriarchs" of the group (my uncle, by marriage, a SP) to sit down and talk about my college studies, my life, and other things without a word about mormonism. And I laid down ground rules that for the next 30 years everybody understood, and largely complied with (though I know they discussed how sinful I was behind my back).

So don't be afraid to be yourself. You might be surprised at the result. There will almost certainly be some busy-body who will tell you how sinful you are -- just tell 'em you love 'em, but you don't care about their ideas of "sinful." When they're being mormon asses, tell them. Be HONEST.
Just a suggestion :)

"Do come in; you're the only one today."

Real MORmONS want to change their patriotic holiday to the
TWENTY -Fourth of July, and add Sept 11 (1857) - Glorious Defending The Zion Homeland Day as State / National Holiday.
Any one in dissent will be given the Laban treatment.