Now that you know that mormonism is a scam and to me its mainly about money and control and how the church can keep ahold of it, do you ever look back and realize how much of a douche you really were as a TBM. I know I did, I didnt really act like it to non members, but I sure thought I was more righteous, following the right path yada yada yada and frankly, am ashamed of that. Do any of you feel that way now?

I do feel shame for some of my actions: particularly for past friends who went exmo/inactive and I tried to reactivate them. I was never obnoxious about it; but man, I wish I'd listened to a couple friends 10-15 years ago.

My biggest shame is I wonder, "why did I stick with it for so long?"

When I talk with my nevermo friends, talking about Mormon beliefs, my mission experiences, things I gave up to be active (10% tithing, time commitment, etc) I simply cannot believe I stuck with it for sooooo long.

I look back at my mission and shake my head at all the "bible bashes" I would get in. So pointless. I remember a time that we went to an appointment and the pastor was there. He read us a bunch of stuff, but I remember just tuning out. Might as well just have put my fingers in my ears and yelled Im not listening. If I knew how to get in contact with him now, I would love to let him know where I am now. I wish now I had the sense to listen and get it through my thick skull at the time. Would have spared me a lot of grief I think.

A mormon missionary and a christian pastor arguing about the bible is like two people disagreeing with each other because one says unicorns are fuchsia and the other believes them to be mauve.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/15/2015 09:35PM by schlock.

I don't feel shame, just anger.

brandywine Wrote:
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> I don't feel shame, just anger.


^ that. Me too.

You ask me If I am ashamed?

Let me ask you...
I taught a young family of with two children of baptismal age. They were happy in their Catholic faith but I condemned their faith and challenged them to baptism on the first visit.
I taught them flannel board first vision and translating gold plate stories using the urim and thummin. I readied them for baptism.
The mother and two children were dunked while Dad refused.
Mom tells dad its join or divorce.
Divorce happens and Mom sells house and moves 3000 miles to Utah valley to raise her children in Zion. Mom marries first priesthood holder who comes along and he fleeced here out of her money from the divorce and mom goes back to work.
Mom marries again in Utah valley to another priesthood holder and that marriage ends within a year. Kids get into drugs, alchohol and daughter gets pregnant and mom loses her home.
I watch this unfold nearly a mile from my home.
so you ask if I am ashamed?
More than you can ever imagine.
This is a harmful corporation.

Coke, none of that is your fault. The wife was foolish to divorce over church. Also, you were genuine and thought you had a better way. We were all deceived.

I'm shaking my head at this. You should have just left them alone.

Wow. Really? Any idea what it's like to be a BIC missionary, and the societal pressures associated therewith? And what it takes to break those mental chains that have been forged from birth?

So you respect religion SOOOO much, that everyone else's religion is crap?

Yes, I do have an idea about being BIC. That is no excuse. Think about what you're saying. You're on this board forgiving each other for what you've done. You should ask forgiveness from the people you've hurt.

Wow, project much?

You stated that I respect religion. I don't, specifically of the organized variety.

You stated that I'm forgiving others regarding their proselytizing past. I'm not. (Nor, incidentally, do I feel forgiveness needs to be given by me to them for the same.)

And finally, a quick question: Just how much apologizing is required of former mormons to the general populace? How about former catholics. How about former muslims. Americans? Britons? Germans? Japanese? Russians? Comanches? Hutus? Tutsis? Bosnians? Serbians? Whites? Blacks? Men? Women? Adults? Etc. Etc. Etc.

Is there a list somewhere, categorizing offenders with offendees, clearly detailing apologies that should be sought?

Missionaries just do what they are brainwashed to do. The people who deserve to feel bad are the people up top perpetuating the fraud.

No. You are responsible for what you did. And if you're not actively correcting your mistakes, you're still brainwashed and not accepting responsibility.

Coke is remorseful for sharing the fraud. However Coke isn't responsible for the wife leaving her husband, she is. All the bad things that happened to that family were a direct result of bad choices the wife made.

You can't forgive Coke, because Coke didn't hurt you.

If Coke is remorseful, Coke can STILL GO to the person whose life was upended by Coke and ask her for forgiveness. Or at least check up on her and her two sons. After all, this all unfolded a mile away from where Coke lived.

All of the bad things that happened to that family were the result of Coke knocking on their door and challenging them to convert from their Catholic faith, which they were happy with.

We can leave TSCC behind, but if we still act as though we are powerless and brainwashed, we will never be forgiven by the people we have injured. For all we know, every person we converted might still be wondering "Should I leave?" It is cowardly to get out and not reach down a hand to those we know are in a cult.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/16/2015 01:56AM by petalumagal.

Yes. I feel ashamed that I allowed Mormonism to make me weak. I felt that Mormonism required me to be someone other than who I was and I complied with its demands. I was spineless and mealy-mouthed. I did things that I disagreed with in order to be obedient. I didn't listen to my inner voice and my own sense of right and wrong on so many occasions while I was in the church.

Against my better judgment, I took callings that I did not want or have time for, but never voiced my concerns.

I stayed at meetings that lasted for hours instead of keeping promises to my children to be home in time to tuck them into bed.

I forced visits on people who didn't want them because an acquaintance told me to.

I let home and visiting teachers intrude on family time because I couldn't say no.

I sat through presidency meetings that became gossip sessions and never spoke up.

I listened to lessons that were nothing more than bigoted diatribes and stayed silent.

I let church authorities ask me inappropriate questions that I answered without challenging them.

Upon the advice of church leadership, I excluded people who should have been included and listened to people who should have been ignored.


Now that I know better, I do better. But the shame is still hard to let go of.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/15/2015 05:31PM by want2bx.

Not about the way I acted.

I am ashamed to have believed what I did.

It is so plainly idiotic, I have a hard time dealing with the fact that I really believed it. Very embarrassing.

I was never treated as "special" in mormonism and I never thought I was special. I lived it because I believed it. I had many friends that were nonmormons and they always said that I cared more about them than I did my mormon friends. My non-active, nonbelieving family members always knew that I'd be the one who would go out to smoke with them at family functions, etc. I would take them in and did no matter what my circumstances were.

I could not have been more relieved to know that I didn't have to live mormonism anymore. I thought I had no choice. I was NEVER happy as a mormon.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/15/2015 06:22PM by cl2.

So horribly ashamed.

I feel more embarrassed than ashamed.

I feel only relief that I will never be bothered by any old TBM bedshitters trying to "reactivate" me.

RB