I met a super nice liberal Mormon (she love coffee as much as me). The only thing that was awkward was before this girl knew me she talked Mormon speak to me. A good friend also teased me that I looked like the perfect Mormon mom except for my nose ring. Well, I took out the nose ring because it kept getting infected and now I am back to people thinking I'm Mormon and it really bothers me. I know I shouldn't care what people think but, I don't want any association with TSCC. Thoughts or advice would be great.

A skimpy tank top ought to do the trick.

But then if you have cold, cold winters, the problem will crop up again in a few months.

Thanks :) now to figure out how to look less Mormony in the winter!

Just in general...ditch the low-maintenance look (minimal make-up, no-iron clothes, sensible shoes, simple hair styles, etc.)
Seek out trendy styles, y'know - spend a bit more on the edgy side of fashion...YMMV. (No idea what you look like or how you present yourself)

I'm very low maintenance because I have five kids. I do think you are right though if I wear makeup and look more modern I'm less likely to be thought of as Mormon and will feel better about myself too.

What I was gonna say. Mormon women have a common "outfit", Capri style pants, pull over top, garmies hanging out. Some dress much more risque, and I am appreciative. High fashion is rare.

At the water park, the Relief Society President is there with her boobs hanging out and half her butt cheeks hanging out. Utah, Life Elevated :)

Shoulders. Show your shoulders.

Dress for yourself. Be comfortable in your own skin.

I don't worry about making fashion statements. What matters is does it fit? Is it comfortable? Stylish is important to a degree.

As for sensible shoes, I ditched high heels for those several years ago due to knee problems.

Sensible shoes are in fashion. Modesty never went out of fashion. You can dress anyway you like without making a Mormon statement.

Style for me must be feminine, flattering, fit, and material that breathes. I don't get accused of dressing like a Mormon. What I've been accused of if anything is dressing like an Easterner when I was back west going to college. I just like good clothing that's sensible and refined.

Having good taste is what people notice about our dress. Some people have it. And then there are those women who just have flair and chic. If you've got it, by all means flaunt it.

:)

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/28/2015 12:35PM by amyjo.

dress however YOU want to dress and who gives a damn about whatever anyone else thinks??

the beauty of finding our way out of Mormonism and into the light is choosing for ourselves and NO JUDGEMENT

:)

Why change how you look just so people won't think you are a mormon? Why do you care what other people think? Just be you and
do you. Life is too short to try to please other people.
If someone askes if you're a mormon just say "fuck no".

I wore sleeveless tops all weekend in the company of my son's extreeeeeme TBM, former-bishop, yadda, yadda, in-laws.

Anyway, time to leave, he and she had to give me a hug and manipulated their hands to feel my shoulders. It was the strangest thing! It's like they had never seen shoulders on a woman before and had to make sure they were real!!!

But, it will show that you ain't no Mo.

GodLedMeOut Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anyway, time to leave, he and she had to give me a
> hug and manipulated their hands to feel my
> shoulders. It was the strangest thing! It's like
> they had never seen shoulders on a woman before
> and had to make sure they were real!!!
>
^I am laughing at this! You and those sensual shoulders!
Isn't it crazy how unnatural and abnormal Mormon thinking is?

Why can't they just respect a woman's right to wear a sleeveless top without having to feel your shoulders at all? That seems degrading and disrespectful to the woman for someone to do that. It's like the former bishop has no class or manners. I've known bishops with more class than that, sheesh.

I'd like want to slug em for feeling my shoulders. What the bleep gives them the right to do that anyway? That's an unwanted touching in the law, and could be construed as an assault.

Maybe they were trying to show acceptance of you by not recoiling from the sight of your shoulders. And that was just their awkward way of doing it.

Showing acceptance means showing the same respect and deference to someone in a sleeveless top as someone wearing sleeves.

Touching skin is a violation of the other's personal space *unless* the touching was welcome and wanted.

Making a point of touching it just because it was exposed? Tacky.

Now if it was a goodbye hug, and would've made the same contact either way, something else. But that isn't what was described. What was described was she was being ogled by touching.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/28/2015 01:02PM by amyjo.

The return of capri pants must have been a godsend to Mormon women. I don't happen to have any, but I think they are still in style most places whether Mormon or not.

Try on some clothing styles you wouldn't normally try, and from the NEW RACKS if you can, and see how you feel in them.

Instead of just COVERING UP your body though, NOW the idea is to COMPLIMENT your body by finding colors and styles that fit you well, accent your best parts, and that give you a really confident feeling when you put them on.

In Utah, sometimes it is really hard to tell just by sight. I've seen people who were serious middle aged bike racers, who were active LDS. I never would have guessed. Beyond age 30, just looking athletic makes you look non-LDS. Not a perfect cue, but not bad.

When I moved here, I got a real estate agent. We had both graduated from BYU. It was a couple of hours before we both figured out we were exMo. Neither of us wanted to say anything to strain a business relationship. We had a good laugh later.

A couple weeks ago I was at the Broadway Theater, and they ran an ad encouraging people to join the SL Film Society. My agent was the first person in the ad extolling the virtues of indie movies and the SLFS. That would have been a tip off of a Mormon gone bad!

Be well read, athletic, and drink coffee.

Brother Of Jerry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Be well read, athletic, and drink coffee.


^Time to lose my mommy figure the others are much easier!

Great advice! Thanks everyone:)

"Neither of us wanted to say anything to strain a business relationship."

This comment deserves serious reflection.
Exmos have many more allies than is at first apparent.

Get a great, modern hair cut. If you have shorter hair, there are super cute layered Bobs, or slightly angled cuts. Keep it trimmed regularly. If your hair is longer, put in a sleek pony. Wrap a thin fake braid around the base, or Hermes type silk scarf (ask your salon). You can look fashionable/modern without spending lots of time or money.

If you don't have a baby grabbing at your earrings, get some fashionable earrings, especially for dressing up.

Sometimes Mormons wear blander, solid colors. Get some bright, interchangeable prints. Instead of all that weird layering, get tops long enough, or short enough. Go to Ross and ask for Ellen Tracy, Jones NY, Michael Kors, Ann Taylor tops. You can wear them several years, in style, good quality. =)

Sun dresses in the summer without a T-shirt under them. You can get super cute summer tops with support (built in bra) so you don't have straps hanging out everywhere. Shorts or skirts shorter than garment length will indicate you don't have that card in your purse. Rethink your purse selection also.

Have fun! =)

When I was TBM I wore very clean outfits that were up-to-date in style and very colorful. I tried not to repeat outfits very often.

I was considered very frivolous and not very mormon. I am an avid resale shopper so I had lots of high-end stuff that cost very little.

A sidenote:We had a huge Latino membership and I would always run into them in my resale haunts. On Sunday my little Latino primary kids would look like a million bucks; the white ones looked like their Sunday clothes lived under the bed.

This was the midwest, but when I lived in SLC,it was the deadly elastic waisted pants and long baggy dresses.

Just don't wear really out-dated clothes that fit like they are from your post diet days. Add color, modern color.

Where is a good place to shop? I want my kids and I to look nice and not sloppy.

Get a pretty tattoo on your arm

I have actually thought of that but have no idea what to get.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/28/2015 01:09PM by brandywine.

Use water tattoos. You can change them, depending on your mood...

Have you watched The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix? It's worth a watch if you haven't. In one episode Kimmy had a temporary tattoo that said you're grape! Your post made me think of it :)

For what it's worth, I think you should look like what you want to look like and not worry about what others think.

I try to send a message to all who see me, so I'm naked a lot...

I had a neighbor on my street who used to walk his dog in his bathrobe. He seemed a bit touched, but didn't mind that people stared longer his way because he was in his robe.

Reminded me of the mobster who declared insanity to get off his murder charges. One of the ways he tried to show he'd lost his marbles was wandering around the streets in his bathrobe, talking to himself.

It didn't fool prosecutors however, and he died in prison in 2005. (Vincent Gigante, boss of Genovese crime family.)

Wear a cross necklace.

It broke at the zoo! I need to replace it.

I also recommend a cross necklace, and whenever possible, show off your shoulders. For me, one thing I did as soon as my resignation and divorce were final, was to get a second set of piercings in my ears, and most of the time, I wear 2 pairs of earrings.

Get a big tattoo across your forehead that says "Fuck the Morg"

Get a second ear piercing, maybe even one in the upper cartilage. Little things like that are Kryptonite to a Mormon, and a shout-out to fringers and exmos.

(But in the real word, a second piercing is no big deal).



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/28/2015 03:05PM by imaworkinonit.