WOW!

This seems to me to be right up there with Jesus and Lucifer playing together in the preexistence.

https://www.ldsliving.com/20-surprising-things-we-know-about-angels/s/91777

Isn't this like really really not monotheistic? I mean if they said demigods maybe Mormonism is monotheistic but this just makes Mormonism a pantheon instead of the trinity-lite.

Ephebophilia


https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ephebophilia

Gimme the Uncle Joe flaming sword angel story LDS Living forgot to mention where he gets caught banging Alger's fanny by his new wifey, Emma.

Uhh.. Where's your threatening flaming sword angel, Jo?

"Hiding again? I see., how convient!"

You got the spelling right this time. Nice to see someone who pays attention to detail (really)

Spelling right, link the word right but subject wrong. Two rights but still this is the wrong thread.

It is like some goofball version of SC's past obsession with Joe's proclivities.

Brother Of Jerry Wrote:
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> You got the spelling right this time. Nice to see
> someone who pays attention to detail (really)

Only some uncommonly used Mormon words I guess, proud to let em all slip away maybe eventually.

Pedophilia is used in odd conversation on rare occasion, ephebophilia never.

Until Smith's name comes up!

Wow. 'LDSliving' is like the 'Tiger Beat' of Mo'ism ('10 Adorable Pictures of Elder Bednar That Will Make You Love Him Even More!'), and I can't believe this one slipped past the "Don't tell anyone we believe this shite" filter.

But, well, preaching to the choir, yadda yadda yadda....whatever.

Chicken N. Backpacks Wrote:
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> But, well, preaching to the choir, yadda yadda
> yadda....whatever.

I guess this, though on The Internet, is along the theme of Mormon big cheeses going out to speak and ranting about muskets and the world ending.

In the book Job, a Comedy of Justice, the protagonist dies and goes to what Mormons would call Spirit Prison, where the new recruits for the Pearly Gates are whipped into shape by Michael, the Archangel, who is the Drill Sergeant.

"OK, everybody in formation. Line up two cubits apart, side to side, and 1 cubit apart above and below.

::indistinct voice from the multitude::

A cubit is 18 inches. Any of you maggots not know what an inch is?"

Channeling Joseph's Myth...something about a penis.

ANGELS. God's thoughts passing to man; spiritual
intuitions, pure and perfect; the inspiration of goodness, purity, and immortality, counteracting all evil, sensuality, and mortality.

From her textbook, "Science & Health, With Key To the Scriptures." Note she did not consider angels to be persons, either spiritual or temporal. bit heavenly thoughts.

The Three Nephites did not respond to our requests for comment.

caffiend Wrote:
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> The Three Nephites did not respond to our requests
> for comment.

They were busy with resurrected Mary Baker Eddy working on counteracting all evil, sensuality, and mortality.

Elder Berry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> caffiend Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>.... counteracting all evil, sensuality, and
> mortality.

The interesting thing about CS'ists is how fervently they embrace materialism while denying "materiality." I believe that was my first disillusionment with CS: I thought if we were serious about metaphysics, we should retreat from (usually upper) middle class culture and pursuits, retire to some remote locale, live simple, even subsistence, ascetic lives and devote ourselves to the study of the Bible and Eddy's works.

You demonstrate* a highly evolved understanding of Eddyism, Elder Berry!

*The CS euphemism for a healing is "demonstration," as in "a demonstration of Divine Mind's work..."

That was Eddyfying. CS is to the medical field what Scientology is to the Psychiatric.

"if we were serious about metaphysics, we should retreat from (usually upper) middle class culture and pursuits, retire to some remote locale, live simple, even subsistence, ascetic lives"

I like this. The noise and confusions of modernity are even noisier and more confusing with middle class culture and pursuits on top of them.

The most surprising thing about angels, for most people, is that THERE BLOODY HELL AIN'T NO SUCH THING!!!!!! SO DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!

Thank you.

#12. Angels are superb ass-kissers. God needs much praise.

#19. Angels have expense accounts from the Kolob Safety Society, but are strictly limited as to disbursements from Accounts Payable.

I love that they use phrases like "it is well-know that angels..." lol

If what was true 15 years ago is true today, even mentioning angels without referring to Joe's Angels in any Mormon context will get you looks and skepticism.

This ain't Joe's church unless I guess Rusty's tender mercies have returned claiming to have anything to do with angels as okay.

The only way Rusty is going to cry over angels is if someone kicks him in the tender mercies.

The church has made a decisive move to stay away from truth claims and revelation move into the "inspired" wording category.

Angels will soon be (and will, therefore will retroactive have always been) symbolic of blah blah blah, not literal angels.

Which has already been done by Mary Baker Eddy--see my posts above. In LDS, this has been done, and goes back to the earliest days, when Martin Harris altered his testimony by saying that he saw the plates "with his 'spiritual eyes.'"

Edit: By "spiritualizing," I'm referring to relegating the phenomenon/previous doctrine to the symbolic--not the part about getting "kicked in the tender mercies."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/17/2021 10:49PM by caffiend.