It's main wedding season in morgland. I see newly weds every weekend on my Facebook timeline.
Nearly all of them are stating: "I am marrying my best friend" Is this a new trend? Or did it simply passed ny cosmos in the past?

Beside the facts that I couldn't imagine to marry my "best (male) friend" and I wouldn't call someone I know a few months - very superficial - my best friend. Leave alone to marry someone I hardly know. (but this an other topic)
Is it just me who think this sounds uberweird? This is uberweird!?! I want to marry the dude, who is the love of my life and I am going crazy for and not a nor even my best friend. Really my BF is and means everything to me but no he is not my "best friend"

I've heard it many times and I always thought of it as sort of misunderstanding of the meaning of the word "love".

I think what they are saying is that we don't just desire each other for sex, we actually do like each other a lot too!

But to me, that IS the meaning of romantic love. You care about them AND desire them. If it's just desire without caring, that's lust, not love.

I like being with my husband more than anyone else, but I can't bring myself to say that he's my best friend. To ME, that lowers his status. But I think I understand what others INTEND that to mean.

I think it's semantics. It doesn't bother me. I saw it used on a prominent young Mormon couple's blog a few years ago, so perhaps it's been gradually catching on.

Yeah, everything catches on in mormonism. It's why a lot of GAs seem to behave almost the same, it's because they all emulate the mannerisms and the way of speaking of previous GAs who they admired. I even had a few "GA clones" in my ward and stake, and they probably behaved that way for similar reasons.

However, I heard people say "My wife is my best friend" and things like that throughout my entire life as a mormon. So I don't think it's anything new. Maybe it's something that started out in my area and has now spread worldwide, but personally I always heard this sort of thing.

My actual best friend unexpectedly married a woman a year ago who he had only known a short time and dated like 4x.

I was Grants best friend for many years. All of a sudden this woman he barely knew and married put on Facebook that she had married her best friend. They have already been separated once and gotten back together.

You don't know how badly I want to comment to her that NO DEAR YOU DID NOT MARRY YOUR BEST FRIEND - YOU MARRIED MINE. For all the years he and I had truly been best friends I was dropped completely out of the picture the day they got married. By the way I am a female.

By the time I married, he was my best friend, and remained so for 50 years.

I am not seeing the problem.

The problem is that with young mormon couples the trend is to marry after meeting each other only a few months prior.

It just seems a little suspicious to meet someone, become "best" friends then marry after three months.

I married my sweetheart. Twelve years later and lots of good and bad experiences I'd say he's now my best friend. He wasn't my best friend when we married though. I think it takes time and experience to form a friendship.

This is true!!^^^

It's a Freudian slip - they mean to write "He is my Beast Friend", which is a true approximation of how most morg males are going to treat a morg female if they are really TBMs.

In some cases, "best friend" means "only friend." ;^)

And there are some people who marry someone they don't get along with very well only because the sex is great. Or only because that person is wealthy or has social connections or whatever. People marry for all sorts of bad reasons.

Yeah... Money vs. Love but then money can buy some people's love.

One of the reasons I would call my lover my best friend is

because he is. I don't see that there's a problem with that.

I'm with Saucie.

The friendship, the trust, the ability to laugh together and get through some real $Ħ!††¥ times together is SO important, in my opinion. Especially when you get to be old farts like my hubsie and I are!

I've known too many couples who seemed to have a wonderful relationship when they were in bed. They'd be all over each other in public till someone said, "Hey, get a room!" or "Where's my video cam? Might as well make some money here if we gotta watch this!" The rest of the time they didn't seem to like each other much at all.

+10000000000000000000

What is the foundation of all ChurchInc. thinking, feeling and decisions?

"We are more special than you because...."

Yes, the "Marrying my best friend" is a trendy thing for some. I think deep down many LDS couples try anyway possible to justify a marriage with someone they really do not know well.

Most LDS relationships are extremely superficial and "forced" to be special because of the common LDS link between them.

I did not rush to the altar by LDS standards, but it was still rather fast. I took time to get to know my (now Ex LDS hubby) for 9 mos, which was unheard of at the time. I feel that we still needed more time.

As for truly marrying your best friend, I have met a few people that really live that, but they knew each other for YEARS before marrying.

I truly believe that you should be friends with your spouse, but one and only "best friend"? No way. Everyone needs a variety of relationships and friendships. I have a handful of several close people and each one adds a wonderful dimension to my life that I would not want to be without.

My heart is big enough to love them all:)

RMM

Humans are incapable of sustained perfection, but that's no excuse for not trying.

With a lover, we open up our hearts and bodies. With a friend, we open up our minds, our experiences and our dreams. It's a wonderful feeling to trust and be trusted.

Some things are meant to keep getting better and better.

Sternburg proposed that there are three types of love that can be combined in any relationship. In a romantic relationship, consummate love is the ideal.

BF is not just my lover and companion, he's my friend, too, and I wouldn't hesitate to say he's one of my best friends. I think it's great when lovers are friends, too, and it adds a deeper dimension to the relationship.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love

+10000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Here's how it should read: "I'm marrying my Best Friend™ (that I've known for 6 weeks)"

C'mon, Bonneville, copyright that damn thing.

The main reason my marriage to my still TBM wife is still strong is because we are best friends. Outside of church we really do like spending time together. We like the same music and go to concerts. We both like the outdoors and go hiking and camping together. She loves to cook and I love to eat. We like watching the same movies...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2015 02:00PM by Leaving.

I think the problem isn't that a girl/guy is calling their spouse their best friend. Obviously, in some marriages, at some point, this "best friend" phenomenon sincerely happens. And there is nothing wrong with that - being best friends is ideal for some, not what others are looking for.

The problem we have with this is the problem we have with any Mormon thought-stopper, chant or trendy phrase (think "tender mercies.") It's over-done and under-sincere. Some of these people don't know their spouses at all when they marry. And by some, I mean ME. We rented a condo at a resort for our honeymoon, figuring we'd eat out some and cook in some. One day we decided to stop by a store and get dinner and have a quiet night in. I remember asking my new husband what he liked on his salad and then FREAKING out because I was married to this man, who I'd only dated a short time followed by a short engagement. I didn't even know what he liked on a salad. He was that much of a stranger to me.

When young Mormons chant "I'm so lucky to be married to my best friend" it sound insincere, trendy and unsubstantiated. If your grandma said it at her 50th wedding anniversary, it probably wouldn't bug you but knowing how shallow so many of these young Mormons are, how much they need to validate their poorly thought out choices and how much they like to be on the bandwagon with the rest of their friends, it sounds like a bull-crap claim.

I bet he didn't even know you carried a knife!

I think CA girl expressed what is so annoying about these trendy phrases. The ideas are being expressed to fit in, not because they are neccessarily factual.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2015 03:51PM by antilehinephi.

With the Mormon, lightening speed marriages, there is no way to develop a "best friend," let alone someone you will presumably be spending the rest of your life with and squeezing out a litter to raise. Mormon relationships tend to be extremely superficial anyway. To marry your "best friend" doesn't seem terribly odd to me, but this implies there was a relationship prior to engagement and marriage. Mormons rarely have much development beforehand.

In some cases, Mormons marrying their best friend would be frowned upon because that friend is the same gender as them.

I met my best friend 50 years ago this month. We were married three years later. Unlike many LDS couples we did not rush into getting married. Vietnam got in the way and we were separated for 18 months and we married eight days after I got home. We were very close and we had the hots for each other, I doubt we were best friends at that time. Now after 50 years of putting up with all the crap that we each dragged with us into this relationship, that I'd think I can say we are best friends now. I know that I have opened up to her and told her things I would never reveal to any other living person. I guess you can only do that with your best friend.

Thats the point -

Thats the point -

Thats the point - A friendship needs to grow over times, ups and downs and becoming best friends needs that even more. I know what my best friend likes,or not I understand my best friend without words and not because we know each other for a few weeks but a long time with a lot of experiences together.

And I totally agree with CA Girl or Molly. It's the morganized and feel just so faked like everything. That makes it so wtong to me. My BF and I we are having a friendship, but we hadn't it after a couple of weeks. It has grown and was groomed, is groomed every day.
And even if it sounds funny - but I know some Mormon "he is my best friend" couples who are married for years and still feeling uncomfortable to burp or fart when the other is around. My best (male) friend and I doing burpcontest (my BF and I do too - and I always win - so no worries)
Their behaviour is what leadsnthe "my best friend" much to often ad absurdum.

What also caught me was someone said here:" in some cases
"best friend" means "only friend." " how true and sad. When you live the full moron lifestyle you probabaly don't have the time for real
friendships. And you become pretty lonely between the piles of diapers, callings and satisfying your spouse needs and the pressure to be not only good or better but perfect.

There is a bit of a stigma in the Mormon culture that missionaries come back, just find someone suitable that will have them, get married in a loveless temple ceremony, and get down to the business of having a family. Like clockwork.

Maybe they are finding it necessary to tell people they are more important to each other than just that.

There is a lot that can be said about the dippy practice of dippy people saying that their spouse is also their best friend. And it has been going on for a long time, not just recently. The thing that has happened recently is that the internet and social media has provided a platform means for MORmONS to be more present and MORE ANNOYING than before.

When I had other best friends, friends that I was not married to and that I never would be married to, there was no need at all for me to explain the arrangement to anyone else, including them. When a person hits the lottery, is there really any reason for that person to make sure that everyone else knows about it? - Not Really! For Some reason, marriage requires all kinds of varying forms of formality, defining, re defining, finer defining, sanctifying, external support, bolstering and promotion....... because despite all of its overwhelming indisputable splendor, marriage just is not good enough to make it entirely on its own.

It's blatantly obvious that the people who do this are trying to compensate for something. They are attempting to convince themselves (THEMSELVES) much more than any one else, that they have one Hell of a great deal going on and that it could never end. Funny thing, the ultimate extension of this dippy unrealistic (TOXIC) sentiment can be found in MORmONISM (IMAGINE THAT !!!!!) with its "eternal (Unmentionable (STUPID) secret handshake based) temple Marriage" ....... its a form of delusion and self deception which is a MORmON specialty Second only to outright LYING, so its little wonder that self congratulatory blabberings about being married to best friends are so frequently found on social media pages of dunder head (DUMB ASS) MORmONS, and yes, it is trite, self important and irritating.

THAT being said, there is another quizzical aspect of this:
Is not Jesus supposed to be every MORmON'S best friend?

(Have you heard that one recently ????)

>
> It's blatantly obvious that the people who do this
> are trying to compensate for something. They are
> attempting to convince themselves (THEMSELVES)
> much more than any one else, that they have one
> Hell of a great deal going on and that it could
> never end.

THIS! Mormon marriage is made out to be a happily ever, Princess in a castle fantasy where, if you marry the right person in the right place, you will be blessed forever and have that family featured on the cover of the Ensign. Considering the appalling preparation the church provides young men and young women for properly choosing a mate, this almost never happens. So you've done everything right and you find yourself married to a stranger. Or, simply find yourself in a very, very ordinary marriage - not the Disney fantasy you were promised. This happens time and again, although there are a few exceptions where Mormon kids, despite the bad advice they are given, manage to marry well and be happy. But most of them are desperate to convince themselves they got the fairy tale they were promised, to convince everyone around them that they are as happy as the next young Mormon couple and that the church is true and keeps it's promises. The worst part of my marriage was when I was in that state - unable to reconcile the marriage I had with the one I was promised if I lived worthily. When I realized Mormonism couldn't fulfill their promises to me, the whole Mormon belief system began to crumble and that is why I am here today.

But these girls are still in that desperate to convince themselves stage and I pity them. Probably they will find a way to reconcile and forget, the way a returned missionary forgets how useless his mission really was so he can turn around and encourage his son to serve.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2015 05:09PM by CA girl.

Well, my wife IS my best friend, by far. I have a lot of friends but she is the one I want to be with the most and talk to about everything. While we obviously have the romantic aspect, what kept me wanting to marry her was that we shared so much in common. We wanted to do everything together and we enjoyed so many of the same things. We had the same views on life. We had the same interests. When I think of doing anything, its her that I think of first whom I want to do it with.

Now the funny thing about engaged Mormons saying this is that they barely know each other so its weird for them to claim they are their "best friend." I'm can't judge. Maybe some of them really are. I don't know their relationship. But just from experience, most Mormons I knew barely knew each other, because they gotta get married before they get too horny! Most are engaged within 3 months. AND they don't live together. How can they REALLY get to know someone for that short amount of time together?

Based on the teachings, the church would have you believe that '...any two people who live the teachings of the gospel can be friends and get married..."

Might as well be a Moonie and be assigned a spouse.

"Marrying my best friend" and "Know the Church is true"....both examples of "Sure Hope It's True"

I considered my husband my best friend for 20 years, until I left the church a few years ago. Now I don't have one.

We have now been married for 31 years. He is my closest friend and lover. We are incredibly matched in just about every aspect of our lives. We are one of the many lucky ones.

Just to be psychologically pessimistic with an optimistic outlook.

My generation, we were looking for soulmates. Look at the talks, movies (e.g.Butcher's Wife) Richard Bach books about finding his "soul mate" etc...

Then we start learning about "love brain chemistry" and even GBH said that "soul mates" is a false fairytale http://ldsquotes.com/lds-quotes-by-author/spencer-w-kimball-quotes/soul-mates-are-fiction-and-an-illusion/. Now the next generation is finding that maybe best friends is a better way! There's new T.V. shows like "Married at first sight" http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/08/married-at-first-sight_n_5568131.html or hearing stories of successful arranged marriages or how elderly people (well past their sexual peaks) find "love" and companionship.

So as the new commercial says. "First there's like, then there's Love"

I know I wish I would of married a friend instead of for passion.