I first heard about this a couple of years ago, and once I thought about it, I could not believe it had never occurred to me before. I just read the story of Nephi getting the brass plates from Laban and was reminded.

Nephi grabbed Laban by the hair and chopped off his head. He then removed Laban's clothes and proceeded to fool everyone, including his own brothers, about his identity.

Of course, changing your identity by changing your clothes is pretty absurd. Well, I guess it worked for Superman, but still.

But that's not the worst part. It was pointed out that when you chop off someone's head, there is a LOT of blood. A LOT. Gushing and spurting everywhere. So, Nephi changed into someone else's clothes, drenched in a gallon of blood, and no one noticed a thing. Just, "Oh, hey there, Laban. What up?"

Right.

It is a very silly story. To think that a drunkard like Laban was the only person in town with a copy of the scriptures is absurd. God commands Nephi to kill a drunk unconscious Laban passed out in the street who is defenseless and has not committed a serious offense. God then commands Nephi to steal Laban's property (The Brass Plates) and then sail to the Americas with them. The blood is a huge issue as you said. If God really needed to tell Nephi something then he could have just put a rock in a hat like Joseph Smith. Nephi was supposedly a prophet so why did he need the Brass Plates to begin with. Nephi was able to receive his own revelations. Nephi supposedly could carve words into metal plates himself. He supposedly produced much of the gold plates that Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon from. Nephi could have just taken his own personal paper copy and then transcribed the scriptures on brass plates before or after leaving for America.

Actually it's not absurd to think that Laban was the only one with a copy of the scriptures. It's actually absurd to think that anyone had the scriptures because back then there was no biblical cannon! I have no idea how anyone could have a copy of the Bible.

Now looking at everything from the outside I want to kick myself for not thinking about things like that.

It's absurd.

But when you're a child, and your mother reads this to you as your bedtime "bible" stories, what the hell is up with that?

It's sick and twisted. For me, I left that in the past, because it does no good to rehash it out other than reliving it over and over again.

It's the same as reviving Boogeyman or Flabbergast, where I'm concerned. The creepy night stalkers who scared the bejeepers out of us as children.

Actually, I'm glad it was Joe Smith's version of RL Stine's "Goosebumps." Only RL Stine was much more inventive and admitted he was crossing the divide from reality to fiction.

Joe Smith lived in a parallel reality of his own creation.

He died a violent death not unlike Laban, the invention of his imagination.

Or more likely he stole the story from some other author, and called it his own (that whole translation business.)

Absurdity at its worst. :)

Yes, Nephi was commanded to pull an ISIS execution on Laban to get the brass plates that were to be handed down and ultimately received by Joseph Smith who never even used the plates for the translation!

Great point.

See my summary of all the problems with the story:

http://packham.n4m.org/brassplates.htm "Problems With the Brass Plates of Laban"

It discusses all the problems listed by previous posters, and more.

RPackham Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> See my summary of all the problems with the
> story:
>
> http://packham.n4m.org/brassplates.htm "Problems
> With the Brass Plates of Laban"
>
> It discusses all the problems listed by previous
> posters, and more.


/thread

thank you for your good work RPackham !!!

The more one reads and researches, the more outrageous it just is.
Hard to imagine millions of people really believe in the divine nature of the Mormon 'church'. As time goes on, the organization will definitely become more of a country club membership....

Break 3 of Gods commandments in the first chapters of your book.
Covet
Steal
Murder
Big red flag if you ask me

From Richard Packham's site:

"Why would such important records be kept in a private home?

-Important religious and historical records in Jerusalem were kept in the Temple, in the custody of the priests."


Priest (looking out temple window): "Oh crap, it's that Nephi from the Mormon church again; tell him we don't have any sacred records!"

Makes you wonder if Joseph did something similar and was covering his butt by forming a scriptural justification just in case someone found the body?

Ah! Like covering for whomever it was who stole the Spaulding manuscript?

The church has never had any problem with "some crimes are useful."


Like this:

I don't know the practice now, but when was in Mexico on my mission, missionaries were subject to the six month visa rule, which plainly stated that a visitor had to leave the country after six months and get a new visa, good for another six months. There were stories about escapades in which elders were involved on their train trips back across the border, and back.

But when I got there, the system had been gamed. And the APs who explained it to us when we first got there were so dang proud!! We didn't have to leave the country. Every six months we were hand delivered a photocopy of our new visa. The church had circumvented the law. Was it because the Mexican government recognized that Jesus wept when missionary work was shut down for a week, or was it because, wink wink, someone in the systemically corrupt Mexican government took a bribe?

Hey, it must have been like the scene in Excalibur where Merlin cast an spell on Uther Pendragon to appear as the rival king so he could get into the knickers of that king's wife and sire Arthur. It was divine magic.