I wrote a letter to my estranged Mormon daughter this morning, not intending to send it, and it dawned on my what I hate most about Mormonism.

It's not the doctrine, the history, the mind-numbing sh** that it teaches.

Mormonism teaches and REINFORCES EVERY DAY that it is superior to everything else. You must choose Mormonism over everything else to 'be happy'. You must be willing to abandon your parents, your family, your life, in obedience to it.

I raised two now adult children in it, and they see me only as an 'apostate' dad, destined for Outer Darkness (tm). They don't want any relationship with me.

Tell me this - how can children that you've given life to, whom you loved and nurtured, choose Mormonism over you? How is this possible?

If that's not evil, I don't know what is.

I will tell you, I hate Mormonism and everything it stand for. Mormonism has taken my children away from me, and I will never forgive it or Mormons who continue to take them farther away from me.

Sick Mormon bastards, evil, twisted people.

Yeah, you might say I'm angry.

That's so tragic, and happens all too often judging by many posts I've read here.

I would try to keep a regular flow of friendly correspondence or, if possible, phone calls to your kids. I don't know if you're still on speaking terms or not. But even if you don't talk much, sending occasional short letters or text messages, birthday cards with a nice message, and "just thinking of you" cards - can help you come off as just a normal dad who thinks about his kids, as opposed to an angry apostate dad whose lifestyle is only as good as what their imagination comes up with. Even if it's one sided and you don't get replies back.

The LDS Heavenly Father forever casts aside any of his children who don't accept him. I love how truly loving fathers don't do that. They may be forced to keep a distance, but it's more like the Earth orbiting the Sun.

It's terribly sad. Life is short, and your kids are wasting perfectly good time riding their high horse. Mormonism does teach that non-mos and exmos are basically ignorant, wicked scum.

I can't tell you how many times people expressed their condolences to me while I was in the cult because my parents and sibs weren't "in". Ohhh, they'd moan, I'm so SORRY for you, that's so HARD, you poor thing.

I'd shrug and say "no big loss". My father abused me and my siblings for years, physically and emotionally. My mom was so codependent that she stood by and did nothing. One sister developed a personality disorder as a teen and began manipulating everyone when she wasn't trying to burn the house down. Another sister got married two days after her 18th birthday, moved across the country, changed her first name, and told everyone we were all dead. (She hasn't spoken to me in 21 years.)

Yet when I confided this to people in the morg their primary concern wasn't that my family was broken, it was that they weren't *mormon*. They stroked my ego a lot and said what a shiny sweet spirit I was and how smart and speshul I was to have come into the Gospel (tm).

Looking back, it's all so stupid. I had joined a cult and the members were congratulating me for how smart I was when in truth is just traded one abusive authority for another. And when I woke up and got out, I actually became, in their eyes, WORSE scum than my screwed up nevermo family.

It's a cult and your kids are, sadly, hooked on that cult egotism. But kids CAN grow up, and if you keep gently just being there for them, they can come around. Most kids don't get how fortunate they are to have dads who are not like mine. I hope it gets better for you.

@passing through, I hear you. I told my entire stake, when I spoke at a stake conference, how I was abused as a young child and how I loved being part of a big ward "family" now, reaching out to each & every one of them for kindness, compassion, love, support and you know what I got back? People actually said to me "Thank you SO much for showing ME how many blessings I have in MY life." (as compared to my sucky non members life. Which is also saying THANKS for making me feel good about myself when compared to the tragedy of your life.!!!) No one hugged me, or said What can i DO for YOU or Oh no what a sad story I am glad you survived and are here to be part of this ward/stake... NO. All I got was more judgement and rejection. I mean I KNOW no one is perfect, even "members" but if Mormons say and think and WANT to be so caring and loving and Christ-like, I mean if they are not going to do it to a new convert member that grew up abused, and is reaching out to them for help, then WHO EACTLY are they going to do it for? Isn't this the WHOLE THING the WHOLE point of being a Mormon or not?

You are right. Tragically right.

Stories like this break my heart for a personal reason... I lost my dad when I was only 18. In a rather dreadful childhood, he was my anchor, the only person who loved me and did not abuse or hurt me. He always told the truth and I still miss him, a lifetime later, and I feel both resentful and sorry for children, especially adults who oughta know better, who don't appreciate what they've got!

So let's all join hands and sing "Big Yellow Taxi" shall we?

Sorry you were robbed of the lifetime with your Dad Doxi. And at the same time others are literally throwing theirs out.

You really nail it when you say that these people aren't smart enough to "appreciate what they've got!"

Mormonism holds itself up as superior, and by extension, makes members feel that are superior, but it imprisons them by making them think they are *not* good enough, not for themselves, but for the church.

So you cannot be happy in your own skin because you cannot be good enough for "god", i.e. the corporation.

I am so sorry that your daughter has chosen the Corporation™ over you and her own integrity.

It would seem that your own children are the Mormons who are most responsible for taking them farther from you. Since you hate and can't forgive Mormon's for taking your children from you, and logic dictates that your children are the ones most responsible for this, you, by your own admission, hate and can't forgive your children for being what they are.

No wonder they are estranged.

If he hated his kids he wouldn't be here lamenting that the cult has brainwashed them into shunning him.

I would wager they feel very conflicted about what they're doing and just feel too afraid of Big Bad Mormon Elohim to embrace his "apostasy".

The cult constantly teaches its assumed superiority and Mo culture is rife with discrimination against those who leave. Don't point fingers at him and say he hates his kids when he's angry at the culture that taught them their father is unloveable for his choices of conscience.

His own words were that he especially hates those Mormons responsible for his kids being Mormon.

I would wager that his kids are more responsible than any other Mormon for the fact that they are Mormon.

With that clearly being the case, he, by his own admission, hates his kids.

No wonder they are estranged.

You're putting words in OP's mouth.
You're saying he is to blame for the church-based part of their estrangement.
If that's true then it's my fault my TBM MIL calls me an evil sorceress, and that every family meeting where I'm warned of eternal damnation to the point of ruining otherwise constructive time with relatives is all on me because I despise Mormon culture. I don't buy it.

Here are his words, quoted from his post.

"I will never forgive it or Mormons who continue to take them farther away from me.

Sick Mormon bastards, evil, twisted people."

His kids obviously are the Mormons most responsible for them being Mormon and for the continued estrangement.

He describes Mormons responsible for his situation as "Sick Mormon bastards, evil, twisted people." Those are his words, not mine.

The Mormons most responsible for his situation are his kids. You see how he describes such people.

He said he hates those responsible. His kids are responsible for their own actions, both in being Mormons and shunning him.

Since he hates those responsible, he did say by extension he hates his kids.

Whywait, I don't think this the first time I've seen you twist people's words, criticize their emotional reactions, and try and blame the person seeking comfort and support.

Just sayin', so the original poster will consider the source. Perhaps instead of trying to tell people that their feelings are wrong, you should just try to understand.

If you see holes in my logic, please be specific and I will be happy to discuss.

If you just don't like my well-reasoned conclusions, you are going to have to live with that.

I'm not talking about logic. I'm talking about having sympathy for human emotions, and not deconstructing somebody else's feelings because you think they are illogical.

However, it seems like the OP was okay with what you said. It's his thread, not mine.

edit: BTW, I can live with that. ;-)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/26/2015 03:05PM by imaworkinonit.

Oh, I thought logic was valued here. Maybe it is, until it leads to a conclusion that you are not comfortable with?

Who says your "logic" is bulletproof? You assume that the children are most responsible for keeping themselves in the church. You could just as easily say that the parents are responsible for indoctrinating/brainwashing the child and the child is a victim...maybe the OP is saying he hates himself? You could also say that dishonest, trusted leaders are responsible. Maybe the child shouldn't trust a lying cult leader, but they were raised to do so and breaking that bond isn't always easy.

Either way, we can logically conclude that you're being an ass, and, while based on some assumptions, I'd bet that you know it.

You may be right. I need to work on forgiveness and through the anger. Thanks.

Whywait, your condescending in many of your posts. You know, passive/aggressive behavior and its ugly. So, wake up and care about others..in a genuine way. Please.

I don't see myself as passive-aggressive. Angry, to be sure, not knowing exactly what to do re. my kids, of course, impatient, yes. I want the situation resolved NOW, and I'll admit, patience isn't my greatest strength. But, I think it's an over-generalization to characterize me as passive-aggressive.

But I will take that under advisement.

Emma didn't mean you, Frodo, but Whywait, who says you hate your kids.

Please notice the OP took the time to see the logic in my post and agree that I have a point.

If you think my logic is faulty, please point out where, and I will be happy to discuss it with you.

It seems, however, that you just don't like the logical conclusion I reached for the OP. You will have to deal with that.

It clearly and obviously separates WAY more than it brings together.

It's such a farce: a wolf in sheep's clothing - fleecing its members, gathering stats & information on them and taking all they've got (time and money) and always demanding more.

Pride - they want to have it while taking yours; appear meek, while making you weak; taking all that is important to you: your ideas, trust, goals, prosperity, your sovereignty, dignity, humility, generosity, service, and even your family.

They take from the members and say they're giving to the world.

Oxy-MORONICS. Created by the devil. Shameful! Ironic? Talk about sin!

The Mormon Church is going to hell... right back where it came from.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/25/2015 03:00PM by moremany.

No. You're the one who keeps saying his kids are responsible for taking themselves away from him. He didn't say that he believes they are responsible for staying Mormon. You said that. He didn't say that by extension he hates his kids. You said that.

I thought your post sounded a bit judgmental so I called you on it. Now we're having a silly argument about it. I'm usually not so forward but I am in a very anti-cult mood today especially as to how it pulls families apart through no fault of their own other than possessing human frailties TSCC preys upon.

The truth is that Mormonism is a destructive cult that tears apart families. OP felt distressed and angry. I feel offended on his behalf because he is being thrown away like trash for leaving the cult...if he's even just an average dad, he is light years beyond the predatory sperm donor I ended up with and doesn't deserve to be cut off by his kids.

I think I'll just pass on through now.

This was also aimed at Whywait but I put it in the wrong place.

Your commentary, along with so many others that are similar, is a great indication that MORmONISM is EVIL, and, so contrary to MORmON claims, MORmONISM has destroyed far more familial relationships than it has strengthened with it's us or them/ completely MORmON or nothing approach and its stupid secret handshake based sealing MORmON family togetherness.

I really feel bad for you. I was a convert and could never bring myself to make my dad into the enemy simply because he didn't join along with the rest of us.

I agonized about how to include him when I got married because he said it would hurt him very much to be excluded if I married without him there. I had decided that having him at my marriage would mean more to me than being married in the temple. I'd just wait the one year if I was going to the temple. And if my husband disagreed with that plan he could marry someone else.

My dad raised, educated, and protected me all my youth and adulthood while he was alive. I just couldn't kick him in the teeth over a wedding. Mormonism tried to come between us. Some extent it did but never all the way.

I agree. They feel superior and are close minded, very very close minded. Mormonism is their God.

Mormons good, everyone else bad. Even if Jesus came and visited you, and you told your kids, they wouldn't believe you because you're not a tbm.

Mormonism obliterates families.
(Don't pay attention to those who pretend otherwise.)
Children reject parents. Parents reject children. Siblings hurt each other, intentionally and unintentionally.

A religion that segregates everyone by putting them into absurd categories is the opposite of unconditional love, or "Grace."

Maybe your adult children will grow up some day. They might need to outgrow Mormonism first. I would be completely honest with them-how they're ignoring you, and the result of that behavior.

Be kind to yourself. Fill your life with true friends and loved ones.

YES! I totally agree. I just made a post about the same topic titled "Thinking of leaving the church".
My son, who is 13, (3 year member also) he LOVES the church and all the members and I had a serious disscussion with him on MOnday, about the exact thing you say happened with your kids. I told him Yes the church has many good points but looking down at others is NOT Christian and is a warning to me that this is not "the one true church". I told him I am fine with him staying in the church but to ALWAYS keep an open mind that what they say is nOT the only truth and how I did not want the church to cause a rift between us. I told him the church is good for keeping him and his sister focused and busy with good and healthy things, since they are young teens, but that it would probably be best for us all to get out before he becomes another mormon mind controlled jerk!

the list goes on....

The worst part is the willful ignorance, especially when it pertains to abuse, which is rampant in the abusive Doomsday Sex Cult of Joseph's Myth.