I'm thinking of driving up to SLC to go to the conference.

Is it really worth it?

Any stories of attending that you'd like to share?

By all means, go if you can. You will spend the weekend with several hundred truly friendly, similar-minded people, hear some excellent presentations, meet people face-to-face that you have only known online.

The Friday night "non-testimony" open mic session will be like no testimony meeting you have ever known - you will laugh and cry and truly "feel the spirit."

The hotel is excellent - stay there if you can so that you don't have to drive after the late night after-hours socializing.

Over the years I have attended about 2/3 of the conferences and have never regretted a moment.

imo no

My wife and I attended last year. We enjoyed it so much that we are going again this year. We think it is worth the trip and we will be coming from Texas as well. We're going to fly, however. I'm not too keen on driving there and back. Where in Texas will you be driving from to SLC?

Physical validation. Put your arms around others that have broken out into the free air.

I attended for the first few years after my resignation. It was just what was needed.

Great interaction, great people who had been there and done that with you.

I highly recommend it.

Definitely. I have been there twice and had such a great time. It was really fun meeting many of the posters here and the great speakers like Richard Packham, Grant Palmer, Ken Clark, etc.

I'd go every year if I could.

Definitely. My husband and I have been quite a few times, and never regret spending the money.

It's great to meet people you've been talking to online for years, and make new friends. Going back to the conference feels like a reunion every time we go, even if it's been a couple of years since seeing people.

I'd love to go. Maybe I should start a fund me? Got Sister Kelly a laptop.

If I ever go, it's so I can get laid...

That would be a real laying on of hands. Hands which have flashed signs and tokens.

I have been wanting to go to the Exmo Conference for more than ten years...

...next year in SLC???



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/26/2015 06:13PM by tevai.

elderolddog Wrote:
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> If I ever go, it's so I can get laid...


IN

to c0ckblock EOD

~

just on principal (srs)

I should have stated the obvious: I wouldn't go unless I was bringing my inamorata.

elderolddog Wrote:
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> I should have stated the obvious: I wouldn't go
> unless I was bringing my inamorata.


She's a lucky woman.

I went in 2010. I went in part to meet people I had been conversing with here at RfM and online. If you go alone, and are an introvert, you may have a difficult time integrating into the group. I am not an introvert, but I was happy when my daughter showed up for a day and stayed the night. During the breaks I always made an effort to introduce myself and visit with someone who was sitting alone. There were a lot of people sitting alone. As the presentations and sessions moved along more and more of these "alone" people would sit with me until at the final keynote address and dinner I had a full table of new friends sitting around me. I was disappointed that there was no real effort to help these people feel more comfortable and welcomed. There seemed to be a lot of groups or clicks of people that already knew each other but were not very welcoming to new people, especially those that attended alone.

Most of the presentations themselves were of little interest to me peraonally. However, that may be due to the fact that I had left TSCC more than a decade before and had already thoroughly studied my way out, and found that I wasn't interested in rehashing things. Each conference has different presentations so check to see if what they are offering interests you. I did have the pleasure of meeting several of the presenters, who happened to be sitting alone on the breaks, and thoroughly enjoyed our conversations. I also met a few people that were never-mo but had an vested interest in the ex-mo community! They were incredibly intetesting people! They were also sitting alone, and also joined my table for the keynote dinner address and we all had a lot of fun together.

One other disappointment was the social gatherings. If you are not a drinker, you will quickly feel out of place. Everyone got drunk really fast. Some people were drunk even before the opening "non-testimony" meetng. There were no socializing opportunities without drinking involved. That was a real turn-off for me and I always ended up going to bed early.

I probably wouldnt go for the reasons mentioned above. Also, while I could scrape up the money, there are things I would rather spend it on While there are many people on the board I like,there are also a number I dont care for and dont want to meet. All in all, I just dont care enough to make the effort. That is me. Other people love it

PollyDee Wrote:
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> I went in 2010. I went in part to meet people I had been conversing with here at RfM and online.
>...
> One other disappointment was the social gatherings. If you are not a drinker, you will
> quickly feel out of place. Everyone got drunk really fast. Some people were drunk even before the opening "non-testimony" meetng.

"Drunk" to a non-drinker (especially a Mormon or new ex-Mormon) seems to be applied to anybody who is drinking and having a pleasant time.

I have to disagree with PollyDee. People at the conference were drinking and having a pleasant time. I have been at dozens of the social gatherings at the exmo conferences, and real "drunks" were a rarity.

To those who are not prejudiced by their super-moral Mormon upbringing, "drunk" means unable to talk coherently, unable to stand up, unable to get to bed without help, maybe even throwing up. I never saw anybody really "drunk" at an exmo conference (except once, about 16 years ago in Las Vegas).

Normal people are able to enjoy social gatherings where there is civilized drinking, even though not drinking themselves. Ask SLCabbie, who is a non-drinker and who is at most exmo gatherings, including the social hours.

It sure is a common knee-jerk reaction around here to accuse people of being prejudiced, super-moral, Mormon trolls for pointing out bad social behavior amongst ex-mormons. ( In a previous thread SLCabbie accused me of being a troll for daring to question the legitimacy of Martha Beck's so called reclaimed memories.)

Richard, as I stated in my post, I had been an ex-mo for over a decade at the time.....almost two decades now. I do drink occaisionally, myself. There were several people at that conference that were outright drunk. I sat with one woman while waiting for her relative I called to come pick her up. She could not stand, was crying uncontrollably, and threw up! Nobody else even attempted to help her because they were all almost full on drunk as well. There were several people acting poorly because they were drunk. I even thought my own daughter had a bit too much to drink the night she was there after she went to Tal's room and chewed him out for being an obnoxious jerk at dinner!

It seems that ex-mo's are quick to defend their bad behavior and attack those pointing out their bad behavior rather than accept responsibility.

PollyDee Wrote:
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> It seems that ex-mo's are quick to defend their
> bad behavior and attack those pointing out their
> bad behavior rather than accept responsibility.

Your post said EVERYONE got drunk.
Which isn't the case at all, is it?

Richard was pointing out that you were exaggerating.
Which you were.
But you won't accept responsibility for that, huh?

Since you, Richard and I were not there with Polly, we really dont know what she saw. Even if her experience wasnt typical, it doesnt mean she didnt experience it.

bona dea unreg7stered Wrote:
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> Since you, Richard and I were not there with
> Polly, we really dont know what she saw. Even if
> her experience wasnt typical, it doesnt mean she
> didnt experience it.

Her post said EVERYBODY got drunk.
Then in her rebuttal, she admitted it was only a few people.

Her statements say what she saw. Everybody DIDN'T get drunk.

I think Polly is uncomfortable around people who act or think differently then her. I don't think ANYONE needed to be there to KNOW that "EVERYONE did NOT get drunk really fast". While I defend the "you weren't there so you don't know" thinking, I believe she exaggerated a little bit. However, I am sure there were some who drank more than she preferred they did and that clearly makes her uncomfortable. Exmo's have one common connection and that is WE ALL HAD THE COURAGE TO STAND UP AND LEAVE. That's all that really binds us. We will always have the common connection however, our lives are and will be different.

Some would enjoy the conference while others would not, for a myriad of reasons.

To each their own!

Cheers, Adam

++

+++

Of course I was exaggerating only to illustrate how central drinking is to these events. Amd, no, I do not feel uncomfortable around people who are drinking, it's just mot my idea of a good time. I only pointed out that some people who don't drink MAY feel uncomfortable. Sheesh!

This is the most useful comment to me on this entire thread! I've read and enjoyed hearing from others, but this one describes it so well from how I may find it (as a non-drinker,) that I thank you for sharing your experience.

I really wanted to go listen to the author of the book on Nazis and Mormons during the Third Reich. I'm just going to buy the book instead. :)

The money it would cost me to fly there, even without renting a car, (I'd use the shuttle bus,) doesn't justify my going for a few days. Because of my other priorities at this time.

The value in going would be justified to be able to immerse in the post-Mo culture of those who've lived that life, as that's what many there share in common. Hence, a bond of sorts.

And meeting other intellectuals who cared enough to question their religion, to the point of leaving the dogma and indoctrination behind.

But I don't drink, and would not enjoy that part of the experience. I'd probably be sitting alone somewhere,
trying to integrate during my days there.

I'd more enjoy renting a car while I'm out there, and driving south for a few days, to spend time in the national parks and surrounding areas of Zion's and Snow Canyon. Or driving north to Montpelier, and Bear Lake. And putting flowers on the graves where my Jewish grandmothers (and one great uncle and his wife,) are buried in SLC.

Saving money for retirement in the meantime. After I'm retired I'll be living lots closer anyway, so then I can just drive there, and won't need to fly.

I'd love to go and find out if it's worth it.
So far, in the past few years, they've always conflicted with things going on I can't get out of.

To borrow from the Jews: (maybe)Next year in Salt Lake! :)

Definitely worth it.

A rite of passage for the true blue exmo.

Shummy Wrote:
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> Definitely worth it.
>
> A rite of passage for the true blue exmo.


Shummy.... how many years have you been going to exmo conference?

It's a matter of personal priorities and taste. If you're tempted, I suggest you go for it.

I don't think anyone in financial dire circumstances should spend the money frivolously on travel. This event is a good value, but there's no hurry in recovering and it's probably just as good to wait and do it without worry of financial ruin than pushing the issue immediately. That's my opinion but I'm careful about money issues.

Added about the drinking complaint: I've been to many conferences and haven't seen anyone who was drunk, just a little giggly or tipsy. I don't stay up late because I'm tired by 9:00, so perhaps that's too early to have people throwing up on me. Still, I'd think if someone was getting too polluted, I leave them and move on.

Overall, exmos are very polite and supportive. I'm not the friendliest person in the world but have no trouble socializing at exmo events. Sit by anyone or speak to them in line. They'll be happy if you ask them how long they've been out and why they left, if they've gone on a mission or done RS work, where they attended and if their family is still involved. Soon you find you have things in common and might know or be related to members they have known. Be interested and you'll connect. It's easy.

I wouldn't like having artificial mixers or people "making and effort" to help me make friends. To me that seems Mormonish or juvenile.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/27/2015 03:20PM by Cheryl.

Yes, that would be me in your shoes. I don't drink much ( a glass of wine ) and it sounds like a hardy party sort of thing.

I come from families of alcoholics ( both family trees) and didn't drink at all when I was younger and questioning the church because I would want to drink until I was drunk. My mother ( who at one time was Ward Primary President) combined alcohol, heart disease and men and died at the age of 39 years old ( I was 16 ).

I chose to live my life the exact opposite of my mother.

It seems a lot on this board, when asked what are they drinking, have a lot of hard liquor.

Here in Calif, we grow and make great wines, so I take advantage of that.

Anyway, I am not a party girl and would not like the Exmo conference.

First one was 04.

Have you ever been to one Saucie?

Having been to a few exmo meetups I am one of those people who have a hard time working themselves in to the conversation. Still, you learn by trying, right? I would like to go, but we'll see.

That's the spirit!
We don't ever learn or grow by putting ourselves only in "comfortable" positions, or only associating with people we like or "believe" like we do. Quite the opposite.

for you.

Every person there has experiences and interests in common with you, more so than any other situation I can name. Smile and speak from the minute you walk in the door. Then watch for the same people again and again to continue whatever you were discussing. At meal time ask whoever is around if they'd like to go to lunch with you. If they have other plans, try someone else. It's easier if you sit by someone who isn't in the middle of a personal conversation, but other than that, everyone will be happy to meet you and hear your story.

Ask anyone, "What's your story? Why did you leave?"

Everyone there has experiences of interest, unique but much like yours.