If you resign will your family know? I know when you go to tithing settlement they give you a paper that says your ordinances or whatever and doesn't it say on your parents' paper that they are sealed to you so if you resign, when they go to tithing settlement you won't show up on the paper anymore as being sealed to them so they will know?

Is this accurate?

Has anyone tried to resign without their parents finding out?
Has anyone's bishop tried to call their parents when they got a letter of resignation and informed them of the situation?

Thanks rfmers.

As far as I know my parents don't know.

The answer to your question, "Will my parents find out" seems to be "it depends".

If your bishop really wants to he may contact your family members in an attempt to reactivate you. This doesn't seem to happen often and usually in cases where the parents are in the same ward or stake.

As for how you show up on your parents tithing settlement statements, I haven't seen it, but I believe you are still listed (per doctrine, resigning doesn't break "sealings", nothing can do that but a temple divorce) there's a different signifier by a resigned person's name, like a 0 vs a 1. So it may depend on how attentive your parents are if this still holds true. Keep in mind that computer updates and changes in reports can change things over time, so that may impact how obvious it is that you are resigned to them.

All that being said, quite a few here, myself included, resigned with the same concern and so far my parents haven't stated outright or hinted that they are aware of my non-member status.

I would think it would make a difference how gradual it is. Like someone who has been inactive for 5 years and resigns the bishop might just think whatever. Someone who was fully active just 6 months ago and resigns he might go bananas trying to stop it from happening?

Would love all the insight rfm has to offer on this.

I wonder that also. The missionaries stopped by recently and I told them I wasn't really in the church anymore. They asked if I had resigned (no) and did I mind saying why not. I said it was due to my mother, that I didn't want to upset her since she is elderly.

They didn't SAY that she wouldn't find out, but I wasn't really sure if she would find out or not. It wouldn't KILL her, but still.

A few days later I had several "missed calls" showing on my phone from the guy who baptized our family back in the 60's. My mom has kept in contact with him, but I never have directly, so it was a surprise. It could just be that he was visiting in the area and just wanted to see how I was, but with it being so close to my disclosure to the mishies, I kind of wondered. I guess that might be a LITTLE extreme to think they would contact HIM.

I doubt it as they are both dead

My mother doesn't do tithing settlement any more but when she did she received a paper that listed her children. There was a place that showed the date of each child's confirmation and baptism. After you resign those dates are missing. If those papers are still given out at tithing settlement then your parents would wonder (or maybe not) why the dates are missing for you.

The tithing settlement thing is approaching the status of urban legend. They used to do that, though not often. Four or five years ago now, two RFM posters said that LDS Inc stopped removing the ordinance information about resigned family members. Nor is showing a person a copy of their membership record at tithing settlement standard procedure either.

That said, parents might find out any number of ways. My mother found out after 12 years. She wouldn't say how she found out. I actually half think she just guessed. I don't think she knew that resignation was even possible until recently.

In 2013 I went to tithing settlement and they showed us our records asking us to confirm that the info was accurate which is why I am asking this. We did add a child to our family that year so I don't know if maybe they only asked us because they wanted to make sure the info was correct for the new child. We opted out of going in 2014, I can't remember if that happened in earlier years or not, and I'm certainly not going this year.

If you are in the same ward or perhaps even the same stake, I would imagine they could find out pretty easily. Otherwise, I think they could still find out, but it would require some digging and a call or two.

Ancedotally, my wife's father was a bishop and he remains unaware she's resigned.

I would encourage you to resign.

Just wanted to bump this thread. Any former Bishops here that would know for sure?

How old are you? If you're still a minority then I'd imagine that the bishop or whoever is obligated to tell your parents? Or that you aren't even allowed to resign until 18?

Which is sick... you shouldn't be allowed to officially join until you're 18 so you can speak for yourself as to whether or not you really want it. 8-year-olds don't have that power.

I'm an adult. And I am actually more concerned about my in-laws. So I can probably resign any time without them finding out it's just if my DH resigned with me. OR if the Bishop went batshiz crazy trying to keep it from happening.

As long as I can convince myself that the church really IS not what it claims to be I could probably quietly resign. I have a hard time resigning because of the whole Pascal's wager thing, BUT yesterday I was feeling like I wanted to rip it off like a bandaid. Brainwashing is real.