I have been watching some my social media accounts and watching the recent postings of the recently published Time Magazine article about Mormon dating in Utah. Per the article, there is roughly 60% active LDS females to 40% active LDS males. This is causing a over-supply in the market of LDS females.

The reaction of TBM single sisters has ranged with disgust about how superficial people in Utah are with all of their breast augmentations to hoisting the white flag of surrender in the dating and eventual marriage markets. Interestingly, the comments about the article on my social media sources have been mostly from women. I assume the single TBM men understand the dating market well and are fully capitalizing on the imbalance and any comments from them other than comments of support would be deemed as an act of World War III.

Here are some of my observations:


1. If more men are leaving the Church, some TBM sisters will have to decide in marrying a less-active Mormon man, a Nevermo, or never marry

2. The dating market strategy among some uber-TBM sisters may need to shift to an LDS main-stream or a liberal LDS religious framework in order to attract an LDS guy. Now, of course, the uber TBM single brothers will want that type of extreme Mormonism. Most active Mormon men I would contend want more of a moderate to liberal minded woman.

3. The Church has created a huge issue for many sisters in that they have modeled that perfect Mormon guy is on track to becoming a future GA, has a good career (hopefully is making big bucks!) and is a righteous priesthood holder and will provide for them so they will never have to work again.. To get such a combination is statistically not likely. Note to Trolls: Tell your masters they need to teach such things are not reality. You may want to tell them such a model is a akin to Peter Pan and Never Never-Land and sets up a framework for TBM women that is simply out of this world.

4. This may be time of the Church to bring back Polygamy. You will get the TBM single sisters who want to marry to get married and you will increase the world with Mormon babies. Organic growth has a higher retention than converting folks who are fist generation Mormons.

Just my $.02.


http://time.com/dateonomics/

commonsense Wrote:
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> 1. If more men are leaving the Church, some TBM
> sisters will have to decide in marrying a
> less-active Mormon man, a Nevermo, or never marry

Out in the real world, where you might never even meet another unmarried, age-appropriate member, these are the standard options. Or move to someplace with more Mormons.


>
> Now, of course, the uber TBM
> single brothers will want that type of extreme
> Mormonism.

I suspect a lot of über-TBM males secretly want a bad girl wife who can fake being über-TBM. But why would a bad girl want to be shackled to an über-TBM husband?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/28/2015 01:01AM by Stray Mutt.

Stray Mutt Wrote:
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> I suspect a lot of über-TBM males secretly want a
> bad girl wife who can fake being über-TBM. But
> why would a bad girl want to be shackled to an
> über-TBM husband?

As the saying goes, every girl wants a bad boy who will be good
just for her, and ever guy wants a good girl who will be bad
just for him.

baura Wrote:
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> Stray Mutt Wrote:

>
> As the saying goes, every girl wants a bad boy who
> will be good
> just for her, and ever guy wants a good girl who
> will be bad
> just for him.

+100!

Let's not forget that not everyone of those mormon men are marriage material. They may have mormonism going for them, but not much else.

Oh, and ALL Mormon women ARE marriage material?

I don't mean are they the type of hot babe guys would want. I talking about the things that make a good partner and a strong relationship.

Come on, there are LDS women no one should marry because life with them will be awful, or boring, or crazy-making, or...

Are you saying they want a molly in the kitchen and a whore in bed, Stray?

Is it really so much to ask for...

You know what I'm thinking Shummmy.... that the whore in the

bedroom might sound really appealing to the Mormon TBM men

but seriously..... do you really believe they would be able

to satisfy a woman like that with out feeling inadequate?

I don't really know myself I'm just wondering .

I don't think they'd know what to do with one if they had one!

Many mormon men follow the old BY period of practice and marry girls they met on their missions or converted. It only takes a real surplus of several per cent to make for a breakdown due to the surplus. Single men get oodles of free means and can even bed multiple TBMs who will compromise principles and sleep with someone in the hope of getting married. Do the simple math. You start out with 100 men and 100 women. 90 of the mean marry, with five picking from women not in the group. This leaves a disparity of 10 men with 15 women. Result: a 3 to 2 ratio of the singles.

And I thought my chances of finding a nice atheist girl were bad...

I lived in Happy Valley for many years, taught college there, and was, for a time, a divorced TBM there. Here are my observations:

The gap definitely exists. Men get how it works. Women don't. Most of the women believe they'll get to live the fantasy because God will reward them with good husbands if they are righteous and faithful enough for long enough. A few of them end up winning the lottery (so to speak), so that just encourages the rest to keep believing and waiting. They live in denial of things like facts, odds, and demographics.

Of course the article would make these women upset, but I doubt it'll cause any of them to stop drinking the kool-aid. Some of them might consider polygamy, though.

icedtea Wrote:
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> Some of them might consider polygamy, though.


^^^It would seem to be the only option if they wanted a TBM spouse and kids. A truly frightening thought.

I read this article and a blog entry on Patheos written by a single LDS woman who pretty much agrees with the numbers and a lot that is in the Time piece. Now put this next to the "Sister Wives" court case, if they succeed in getting the law overturned, is this going to be all God needs to once again give rise to plural marriage in this life. After all these women need to be married in the temple to allow them to gain the CK.

Can you imagine the nightmare for young 18 year old missionaries trying to explain the return of polygamy to mainstream people--anywhere!!

It would go over fine in most of Africa and much of Asia. TSCC would merely have to reassign mishies to such areas as polygamy would be accepted. I've had clients who came from such places who would be pleased to have plural marriage.

One of my co-workers (in the USA) has been propositioned by another co-worker (in the USA) to move to his nation of origin so she can become his fourth wife (there). She said no.

Smart lady.

Has Peggy Stack commented on the issues of Time mag?

Now's NOT the time to sugar-coat!

Here is the link to Peggy's article:
http://www.sltrib.com/lifestyle/faith/2875998-155/mormonisms-dating-dilemma-is-a-guy?fullpage=1

She completely avoids the obvious question of *Why* is there a shortage of men? There isn't even a hint as to apostasy contributing to the problem.

My female perspective on the numbers gap between faithful LDS men and women: I got married late, and spent some time going to older BYU wards, and even some single adult activities (dances, etc). It was dismal.

My age group wasn't as bad as groups for singles over 30. The joke between divorced females I knew was that they were just looking for someone who was NORMAL: not socially clueless or awkward, not a jerk, not on parole, not abusive, and someone with a job. BTW, even though they joked about it, they were serious.

It seemed to me that older LDS single guys were single for a reason. So out of the 2 guys for every 3 girls, probably 1 of them would have some serious issues. My husband has said he thought older single women were weird, too.

But what can you expect? Older, celibate people, stuck in an repressive group, where they are treated like teenagers, and expected to meet and marry in a hurry?

imaworkinonit Wrote:
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> ...they were just looking for someone who
> was NORMAL: not socially clueless or awkward, not
> a jerk, not on parole, not abusive, and someone
> with a job.

Perhaps one reason so many of the active single men are losers is that the church gives them a supportive environment. "Hey, dude, you're not a loser because you have the Priesthood®! You have the power and authority to act for God, you're on the path to godhood -- even though you're socially inept and unemployed!"

Meanwhile, the competent, successful men with social skills look at the church and think, "I don't need this crap."

If the church brings back polygamy, will they make more headway in Muslim countries?

More single women than single men is not a universal problem. Slightly more boys are born than girls. However, boys and young men tend to die at a higher rate, so things tend to even out. In countries like China and India, there is a preference for boys, with ratios like 117 men for every 100 women. With over 1 billion people, that's a lot of extra men.

Maybe the church should send women missionaries to areas with a high ratio of men so they can convert some husbands?

What's ironic is that NOW is when they should have started polygamy. They claim polygamy was practiced in the past because there was a shortage of men, when in reality, there was a shortage of women.

Now that they are struggling with gaining (real) converts AND there is a shortage of women AND they have expanded into countries where polygamy is legal and socially acceptable, they only practice monogamy.

but then to think about it or speak about it just confuses me since I lived it in the 1970s and 1980s and then saw my daughter go through the same thing. She is marrying a divorcee with 3 children. She is 29. He is a great guy and I love his children, as does she. His was one of those marry the first girl you meet off your mission and then stay married to her no matter what.

And me, I had to have the mormon, too. I didn't want a bishop or a GA, I wanted a forever marriage. I didn't want to lose my family. That was my WHOLE reason. My daughter's is the same. She is afraid of being abandoned as her father abandoned her at age 10 (but is back in her life).

I know so many of these older mormon girls. Some are great specimens. My daughter is and that isn't because I'm prejudiced. She is beautiful and anyone would tell you that, tall, blonde, thin, runner, degree, traveled the world, been employed since junior year in high school, etc., etc. But she is too smart and too independent for most mormon guys. AND of course, she comes with baggage, "divorced" parents, apostates, gay father, etc., etc.

My boyfriend's realtor is the singles' ward bishop in my area. He said that many of the guys in his ward are lost souls. They haven't got a job. They live at home. They are late 20s, etc.

What I see is they are overwhelmed with the idea of having to support a wife and children while she is a SAHM, having multiple children to support. In this world today, it is impossible to do this. My daughter's fiance has held down 2 full-time jobs for YEARS to support his ex SAH wife. He was still supporting her donating blood to buy gas until he got a new divorce lawyer.

The girls have been raised to be princesses and the guys are overwhelmed by the idea of a life of servitude and not measuring up.

P.S. I have worked since my twins were 10 months and they are 29.

I don't know the solution, but it is a horrible mess. Even in 1977 it was a mess. I should have married my nonmormon boyfriend then.

Two of the guys that "hung around" me didn't marry a few years until after I was separated 11 years later. One was in his late 40s, the other in his 50s when they finally married. Singles wards are a depressing place to be. I swore if my husband ever left me, I'd never date a mormon again, let alone date.

Someone asked one of the above guys why he didn't nab me when he had the chance. He was asked this while I was pregnant with twins. We worked at the same company. He said that my husband beat him to me. My husband IS GAY.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/29/2015 08:50AM by cl2.

I agree with much of what you said. It was that way in the 70's and 80's. I married the first RM who asked me too because my church leaders told me to. Frankly, I was also afraid of never finding anyone. I wasn't quite 20 when I became engage. Idiot. I should have married non-Mormon friend who I wouldn't date because he wasn't Mormon. My marriage didn't last either. Fortunately I later had a great career and married a great never-Mo.

I did not get a single comment when I posted that Time article on Facebook.

As a side note, am I the only one who finds "less-active" annoying and even sometimes insulting. You can have never stepped foot in church in most of your life and be an atheist yet they call you "less-active." What happened to in-active? I refuse to use their code words. People are men and women. Not brothers and sisters, and not "less actives."

This serves as a reminder that while the church is certainly misogynistic, it's not exactly a male paradise. Why are men more likely than women to become inactive? Church leaders, parents, primary teachers, young men's leaders all work to repress natural male tendencies from a young age.

I've read for years on this site about female oppression in the church.

Yet it supports the primary biological interests of women, which are to bear and nurture children. My non-mo daughters have graduated college with honors but just want to get married and stay home with their kids. Mormonism supports that.

Meanwhile, the biological interests of men to have sex, are repressed in church. Men are called dirty and disgusting.

Of course, they give us the priesthood to make us feel powerful, as we bust our tail to support several kids without getting laid.

Everything in TSCC is a mindf**k

Imagine if people around the world married only for love or money regardless of religion. Imagine if no-one even had a religion. Wouldn't this world be a much better place?

BTW, the marriage market among the converts in the mission field is about the same as in Utah: all the converts who stay longer than a year and are aged 18-25 are female. The few men who convert are either wussies or already married, if not both.

Mateo Pastor Wrote:
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> Imagine if people around the world married only
> for love or money regardless of religion. Imagine
> if no-one even had a religion. Wouldn't this world
> be a much better place?

- I couldn't help but think of this song:
> http://youtu.be/yRhq-yO1KN8

The best way for single lds females to create a non fairy tale life is to leave the morg and leave UT.

What a dysfunctional culture! Leave the cult and have a life.

my imo only.