I've been struggling recently with trying to accept the fact that when I die, I die, and that's it. Being raised in an extremely TBM family, and having the TSCC afterlife story being permanently ground into my head, it's really scary to have to be brave and face the truth.

There's just so much of humanity, and I'm just one person, so how much of a difference do I really make? Is life worth it? Will I be able to make enough of a mark on the world? These are just a few questions that have been running around my head nonstop.

My purpose in life as a TBM was converting everyone I could to TSCC. Now I don't know what my purpose is, or even where to look.

Instead of trying to change everyone, you can now accept them as they are, and love them as they are.

You still have talents and caring behavior to share with the world. Volunteer. The church didn't own your altruism and concern for others. Your life has more meaning now. Carpe diem!

Do a bit of soul searching, reading, group activities... You will find a path that makes sense for you, and kindred souls. You make a difference in the world. You matter.

Find your own unique path. It's fun (and a great purpose if you decide, in your own time, you really want or need one). The adventure of a lifetime.

Explore. Wonder. Share. Be. Give. Learn.

No need to return and report, you're gonna be great.

I had to come to terms with the fact that I just don't know what happens after we die. We might live on, we might not. I hope I will, but I can't know.

In the meantime, I have thought, well if I don't then I won't even know. I admit I don't like not knowing, and I even feel sad about it because I want to go on forever.

It reminds me not to waste a moment of my life being down. It takes pressure off because I don't have to be a good or bad person. I live as a natural human being, and I am happiest when I live at peace, when I love, when I'm generous.

I try to be really busy and concentrate on living rather than dieing.

I don't understand people who want to live forever. Can you even begin to grasp what forever means? I can't even imagine such a horrible fate. One lifetime is more than enough for me unless you throw reincarnation or something in to change it up.

I get that people are afraid to die. And we have a hard time imagining oblivion. Okay, maybe if it's really paradise with no suffering it could be nice... But how likely is that, really? And forever? Just on and on with no end? I think that even paradise would get boring. Living forever with the same people, the same self, the same emotions, the same past, the same experiences... Sounds like a nightmare to me.

Change is integral to our very being, I think. And eternal life doesn't involve much change.

Yes. Forever and ever, dammit.
But I want to fly around the universes discovering things and making new friends.

I suppose when you get old you are more at peace with death. Right now, I can't imagine it and don't even begin to want to.

So like a sci-fi version of eternal life? Okay, that would be fun. Maybe for a few millennia. I admit I'd love to know all the answers, and to explore the universe.

But forever means that you'll eventually run out of places to explore, books to read, people to meet, fun to have. Unless you find some eternally self-perpetuating source of amusement, which we couldn't even fathom as mortals...

BTW I'm not that old... just 30. I suppose I'm just morbid :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/28/2015 05:36PM by oneinbillions.

I think its possible that oblivion might be the ultimate preference.

The dumb asses who "wake up" to feel relieved because they did not cease to exist just have not learned their lesson about life yet and they are going to be sentenced to life, again.

Those grave markers do not say RIP for no reason.

This is a big change, so it will take some time to adjust, but you will get used to it, I promise. Fortunately, there are many ways to improve life in this world that will do far more good than trying to change everyone's religion. There are people going hungry, diseases to be addressed, kids who need mentors and advocates, animals who need care, seniors who are lonely, litter and pollution that needs to be cleaned. No, you alone cannot fix it all, but you CAN make a real difference. Take your time, look around, and you will find a new, far better cause on which to spend your time and energy. You will be amazed how much more rewarding it can be to dedicate yourself to a cause that actually helps rather than annoying people with you religion.

A few thoughts: One, it's not only Mormons (or even Christians) who believe in life after death. Various cultures and faiths have believed in it over time. So your choice isn't only, "nothing" happens after death, it's also that we either survive death or we simply don't know. The Mormon church does not own this concept!

Second, in as far as you are able, focus on the needs of your family and of yourself. These needs have been neglected in favor of the church's demands for far too long.

Third, don't feel like you need to get everything figured out all at once. Try to become comfortable with ambiguity.

IF you could have your life suck a lot more then oblivion will sound a lot more inviting.

Frankly, I am still so worn out and frazzled from the Frenzied Hysterical MORmON anticipation and preparation for the supposed imminent second coming of Jesus in my younger years that the absolute nothing of oblivion sounds pretty inviting.

I went through much the same. TSCC gives you a purpose, and when that's gone, you feel as though your purpose is gone, too. It's not every day that a person exchanges his world view for another.

Yes, it's hard to accept that when you're dead, you're dead. It seems like such a waste.

Life is short. It is an incredible thing. You're not a rock, or a tree, or a fungus - you are a human. You can actually look up at the stars and contemplate existence. You can feel, think, and experience life. You are amazingly unique and a wonder.

And what's even more incredible - you get to determine your own purpose. You don't have to sit like a bump on a log and have someone else tell you what your purpose is.

When I believed in God, I wondered sometimes - How did he discover HIS purpose? Alone, in this empty universe, how could he possibly have known where he came from or why he even existed at all? He would have had to create his own purpose.

Of course, this being doesn't really exist. But WE do. We can do more good than this make believe being ever did. We can determine our own purpose and reason for existence.

It's an absolutely incredible gift to us from the universe. Life and consciousness. Use it, enjoy it, and wrap yourself in its ecstasy.

One in billions:
I concur
Forever and ever, eternally sounds..scary whether it's heaven or hell.
"I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners have much more fun...
Only the good die young"

Cheers!

I am an apatheist, meaning, I don't know or care what happens in the next life, it doesn't matter. With that belief I focus on the present, and on this life, because NO ONE knows what will happen, if anything, after this life. It's a waste of time to even think about it. Focus on your life now.

I don't get the mindset that includes the notion that you must make a mark on the world. That's a huge ambition considering the length and breadth of humanity on this earth.

I prefer to have this world leave marks on me. Hopefully they are reminders of a life that had some memorable moments. I'm good with noT so pleasant marks that taught me something, too.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/28/2015 10:19AM by csuprovograd.

To OP:

My thoughts on what the "purpose" of life is:

http://packham.n4m.org/purpose.htm

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. That is easy to comprehend for those who are struggling with an existential crisis, or angst/anxiety.

London... Sites, theater, art, Indian food, shopping... =)

I loved the London analogy, and the idea that it would be a waste of your trip to worry about what the people back home expected you to do while there.

I may not lead a particularly significant life, but it's my life and it's the only one I've got. It's significant and precious to me.

There are people I love and who love me. I'm precious to them too.

That's really all that matters to me. I think it's amazing just that I get to be here.

I've said this here before, but each and everyone of us have already won the lottery just by being the one in a million eggs that our mothers once possessed in their ovaries to be fertilized. And that egg encountered that one specific sperm which equalled us.

We come from a long line of many thousands of ancestors. If you change out just one of them, then we wouldn't be here.

It's all very amazing to me. For billions of years there was no Me. But I'm here now and no longer knowing what happens after life makes every moment that I have precious, even the bad ones.

mbslytherin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Will I be able to make
> enough of a mark on the world?

Why do you feel you need to make a mark on the world? There's nothing wrong with living a life that 99.99% of the world will never know about. Because 99.99% of the people in the world do exactly that.

Begin by looking within yourself, which I believe you have started to do by asking hard questions. Your questions are good.

Even though I have an advanced degree in leadership, I have decided to make studying leadership a daily habit. I am naturally curious, so I enjoy learning. I have a lot to learn especially since learning that what I thought was true for 36 years in the morg was all a lie. I have to unlearn all of that and learn anew in healthy more realistic, discernible ways.

There are many kinds of learning including learning by doing, learning by others, learning via experimentation and learning from mistakes. All of these types of learning opens a new door or window on how to experience the world. How can you use these tools like you would a friend to help you navigate the process of designing and writing a new chapter of your life?

One of the scary things about becoming a leader is dealing with ambiguity. LDS is anti-ambiguity because everything is spelled out in concrete terms so no one has to do any thinking for themselves. That is not freedom, but Machiavellian control and bondage.

Think of the stories of people who were incarcerated for years and yet, never committed a crime. They were framed and lost years of their lives due to someone else's lies. Now that the truth surfaced and they have been freed from prison, how are they building a new life? Are there some parallels you can see from their experience that may shed some light on your experience? They felt lost after being released, and now that you have released yourself from the cult bondage, you will feel lost, too. That is normal. We all experienced that and decided to discover the courage in ourselves to move on. We moved on and made it.

How to move on? It takes courage to ask questions which you are doing. Here are some more questions you may want to ask yourself:

How I am growing as a leader? What are my values, i.e., ethical, relational and success values? How am I practicing integrity and living truthfully? In what ways am I expressing gratitude and being a loving, caring person to everyone in my circle of influence?

What makes me happy? How will I go about bringing joy into my life? What goodness can I send out into the world to make it a better place? What's my passion and how can I use that to build a new way of knowing how to be in the world?

It's one step, and one day at a time. There are many excellent articles and books on leadership, recovery, overcoming co-dependence and cults, that you can find to help you write a new narrative and design a new chapter in your life.

I had many of the same concerns, including "is life worth it", when I first left the church. It really shook me up. It's hard, what you are going through.

But upon reflection, I soon realized that I had picked up that idea that life would be meaningless without the church AT CHURCH. Whether that idea was intentionally promoted or not, that idea is extremely harmful, not unlike an abuser that convinces their victim that they'll be miserable and lonely if they leave.

I soon realized that I had a lot to live for, and that I would have more freedom to live that life. I would have more time, more money, and complete freedom to think and learn and speak about anything that I chose. My life belongs to ME now. I'm not living it so at the end, some all-powerful being can pat me on the back and pronounce me a 'good and faithful servant'.

Someday, I will die. But I will pass on part of me through my children, and people I influence in my life.

Instead of thinking you have something of great importance to do or impart upon the masses, maybe you have something of importance to learn from each and every person you meet. Will Rogers "never met a person he didn't like". I think he found something interesting to discover about everyone.

For me, the joy in not knowing what happens after death is just that. The not knowing is what makes the whole idea so fascinating. And whatever happens happens to everyone. If nothing happens whatsoever, it's not worth worrying about. But if something does happen, how wonderful to imagine all the possibilities. I feel that religions only makes the vastness of eternity seem small. Quantum physics has a much more interesting theory.

Also, the cake is a lie.