Posted by:
imaworkinonit
(
)
Date: September 01, 2015 02:08AM
I posted this on the blog:
I grew up in a very devout home where we said family prayer and observed the Sabbath very strictly. We obeyed the commandments, and I was a true believer. I left the church in my mid-30s. I didn't leave because my parents shirked their duty or failed in some way. I left because after decades of unanswered prayers, and feeling empty and bored at church, and completely exhausted afterwards, I realized that something was wrong. I started considering the other possibility; that maybe the church wasn't true after all. Long story short, I studied a lot and came to the conclusion that the church wasn't what it claimed to be. I left the church and resigned my membership, along with my husband and kids.
I might have stayed, just for the community, but there is no room for unbelievers in the LDS church. They are viewed with everything from blame to suspicion or contempt. Nobody ever says "She must have had a really good reason for leaving, I'm going to ask her why." There is a combination of blame and avoidance. People are afraid to talk about why. So they make up reasons like 'Their parents didn't teach them right'.
The only hope the church has of retaining members, especially those with doubts, in the information age is to stop trying to hide the problematic parts of the faith. And they need to stop trying to silence people who find problems and want answers. The church needs to own up to their own problems (which they have started to do in the Essays on the LDS.org website
https://www.lds.org/topics/essays?lang=eng ). But even in those essays, they are still trying to spin it dishonestly.
Next, if the church wants people to stay, it needs to be a place where people WANT to be. Have FUN, UPLIFTING activities and lessons, explore deeper social issues instead of the same old stuff about obedience and temple attendance, encourage free thinking. Learn to be a truly supportive, tolerant and loving community and not judge people who think differently, or belong to a different political party or wear sleeveless shirts! I'll bet that many doubters would stay in, even if they didn't believe it, if it was still a pleasant place to be.
Good job for speaking up in class. Your words brought comfort to a lot of people, and hopefully the word will go back up the chain of command that it's NOT okay to blame one person (the parents) for the actions of another (the children).