The wife informed me yesterday that our 2 boys will likely not get the "opportunity" to collect fast offerings. You see, apparently some of the mothers in the ward have been driving their sons around to collect the cash in the holy blue envelopes. Another one of the mothers insisted that this was some sort of unrighteous and underhanded usurpation of priesthood authority by these bold sisters, and the practice was halted post haste by the ever vigilant bishop. Thank God! Crisis averted!

I bet it was done very efficiently too. Moms get a LOT of practice shuttling kids around.

They could have issued in yet another new PRIVILEGE for the sisters if they'd just taken advantage of it.

It sounds like they were just being helpful and wanted to spend time with their kids. Children now are so busy with school, homework and extracurricular activities nowadays this may be the only time the moms and kids can talk. Now another mom wants to say that is usurping the priesthood? I'm so glad we got out before my boys were old enough to have the PH and the busywork that goes with it. I love spending Sundays together as a family.

Good grief!

Why not take it to another level by not allowing sisters for choristers, organists and pianists?

Before I left 15 years ago, they were making a big deal whether a woman could offer the closing prayer in SM. Apparently, there was something in the damn handbook that mandated that only a PH could close SM in prayer.

Really? I remember when they were making a big deal about how women could ONLY give the closing prayer. Something about needing priesthood to open a meeting with the priesthood used in it.

Whatever.

I was personally acquainted with the church's first and last Sunday School President (ward level. Student ward, by the way). Marvelous girl. 100% capable. The ward's bishop saw her as the most qualified of all the options, so she was duly called and sustained.

She was fired about a week later. The higher ups got wind of the situation, and suddenly there was a new rule that had always existed declaring that only males were capable of handling that calling.

She felt like she had been kicked in the stomach.

But she's only a female.

I have an aunt that blessed her daughter, it wasn't against rules or policy until higher ups got wind of it.

Same goes for ringing the bell between classes. Penis holders only are allowed that job.

Penises are better at ringing bells I guess. ;)

When I was in my small branch in the UK in about 1976/7 I was the 2nd counsellor at the age of 17 of an all female Sunday School presidency. There just wasn't enough men to fill all the callings. And, surprise surprise, Sunday School ran just fine with we wimmin in charge!

One day a conversation in the Bishops office...

Counselor: "So Brother Holierthanthou, we need a new warm body, er revelation on who to call into this position that passes out the goldfish crackers in this meeting."

Bishop: "Let us prey...um Pray on this matter"

Everyone bows down and prays. "Ah yes, well since that involves things men do not like to do, I mean I am prompted to call Sister Lowselfesteem to do that. What is our next task?"

Counselor: "We have need a servant into running the Sunday School.....Last week we talked about Sister Singletonandsmart...."

Bishop: "But Brother Wishesyouwereme, you know that Sister Singletonandsmart doesn't have a penis! She isn't capable of making decisions that involve creativity and patience!"

Counselor: "I know, but we are having a penis shortage Brother"

Bishop: "Very well, let us Pray on it.....ok God has made it clear that HE wants Sister Singletonandsmart to serve...he must have plans for her to meet someone and marry and produce future penisholders...yeah that's it....Amen."