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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: September 21, 2015 03:55PM

"Dear, Family


I got a terrible case of poison Ivy!! My body does not like the
poison ivy at all. I have been trying to get rid of it all this past
week. I hope i never get it again because its not fun.
SHE CAME IN ON A HORSE!!
On Saturday we went to a investigators wedding. It was a very
interesting and weird. The bride came in on a horse. It was a
hillbilly wedding. We left before it got crazy. The bags that they
gave out to the guests were hangover fixes(weird). The wedding was at
a recent converts house ( related to the investigators). The bishop
and a few members were there.
earlier in the week we had fried pies. Never had a fried pie before,
it was good.
Not to much more happened last week other then alot of service for
people. Sorry for very short letter, i am apparently having to right
on my ipad."

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Posted by: rubi123 ( )
Date: September 21, 2015 04:31PM

He was educated in the United States, right? Hmmmmm.

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Posted by: wanderinggeek ( )
Date: September 21, 2015 04:38PM

You know whats funny. Is he calls the wedding weird. I went to a friends wedding here in Va. Not only was it not "weird." It was so much fun!!!!!

You could feel the love. Not just saying "yes." They wrote their own vows and everything. So much different then a Mormon wedding.

Oh and the reception was at a country club, and not a church. Weird? No Awesome? Yes

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Posted by: Zelpha ( )
Date: September 21, 2015 04:41PM

Gotta remember a few things: missionaries are still merely energetic, flighty, naive kids. His time to write correspondences with family is limited. The editor in me will take a deep breath and overlook his spelling & punctuation errors as usual on the internet these days.

Do missionaries have iPads?? How can they be kept in a bubble and be regulated like prisoners if they have iPads?

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Posted by: Heretic 2 ( )
Date: September 21, 2015 07:04PM

I have heard that the iPads that missionaries use have extremely powerful filter software on them. In fact, it may be set up so that it blocks everything on the whole internet except for a short list of approved church sites and an e-mail program.

(But I have also heard tales of missionaries hacking their iPads so that they can be used for anything they wish.)

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Posted by: msmom ( )
Date: September 21, 2015 04:49PM

So glad that happened for him. It may stick in his brain and emerge when he is open enough to think about things beyond his mission.

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Posted by: NeverBeenaMormon ( )
Date: September 21, 2015 05:42PM

A 'weird wedding' - meanwhile in LDS temples.......

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Posted by: blueorchid ( )
Date: September 21, 2015 05:59PM

Snort!

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Posted by: truorderofawesome ( )
Date: September 22, 2015 07:51PM

Omg, i literally almost passed out from laughing so hard!q

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Posted by: Anziano Young ( )
Date: September 21, 2015 05:55PM

I was literally just about to start a thread on my nephew, who's on his mission stateside as well. I just got the weekly email, forwarded by my brother-in-law. Apparently, there was a conference or something and they all met with area authorities:

"One of the things I learned is to have a vision and then set goals to reach the vision. It was really cool."

This is typical of his weekly letters--generic crap that EVERYBODY ALREADY KNOWS is presented as brand-new revelation from Gawd. He goes on this week to call missions "the Lord's university."

NB: This nephew has been out for nearly a year, and not a single mention of a baptism....

Edit: What really bothers me about these "revelations" is that, in his still-growing mind, belief in the church as the source of all wisdom is constantly reinforced, and this is no accident on the part of the church and its leadership.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/21/2015 06:02PM by vman455.

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Posted by: blueorchid ( )
Date: September 21, 2015 06:07PM

These kids will never ever learn. You NEVER leave a wedding before it gets "crazy."

The horse sounds very romantic to me. Not nearly as romantic as wrapping yourself in yards of yesterdays laundry with a cool green apron and getting sealed as a participant in an eternal spirit baby mill though--from which there is no escape.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/21/2015 06:08PM by blueorchid.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: September 22, 2015 07:44PM

Not to mention the hat men wear. Looking like you are wearing a hair management cap in a factory or hospital. Add a white shirt, pants, and a toga with the added embellishments apron and sash and you've got one romantic outfit that only could be made better with the addition of a mount. Then you would literally be a Knight of Moroni on a white (of course) horse.

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Posted by: blueorchid ( )
Date: September 21, 2015 06:53PM

Why didn't he just get blessing complete with olive oil for his Poison Ivey. It always works. Guaranteed every time.

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Posted by: Myron Donnerbalken ( )
Date: September 21, 2015 07:21PM

Even if the wedding featured homemade corn liquor and a guest bag full of condoms, it would have been many times more meaningful and much more fun than a Mormon temple wedding. Hillbilly wedding, indeed.

How about me? Poison ivy does not bother me and mosquitoes do not sting me. Even though I have renounced Mormonism and curse Joseph Smith, God hath blessed me more mightily than he, the simple missionary.

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Posted by: madalice ( )
Date: September 22, 2015 08:22PM

This kid has learned a lot. I think that first paragraph was almost chiasmus!

Leaving a wedding just as the fun begins isn't too smart though. He missed the best part.

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Posted by: koriwhore ( )
Date: September 22, 2015 09:38PM

Before he left the wedding he could have at least turned water into wine like Jesus, who knew how to get a party started!

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