You have been summoned to stand before the throne of God. He has given you three minutes of His undivided attention. You are asked to tell Him why He should not banish you to everlasting misery. What is your defense? What would you say?

All of Heaven's hosts are watching and listening.

3...2...1...Go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJdtEjJE8OA

(Assuming that this is the Mormon God we are talking about, though this probably applies to most.)

You planted too much evidence against yourself.

My first response applies now. Alternately, I hope one day to be able to say something like this:

Not knowing for sure whether or not you existed, but believing in some of the best principles in the Bible, I have tried to live according to this: "Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." Since leaving the church, I have given as much time, energy, talents, and resources as I used to give to the Mormon Church to the following charities and causes: (List here.) Through that service, I have been serving God, and I have done much good.

(I've only been out of the church for a short time, so my wife and I are sort of recovering from that. In time, we'll find some charitable causes and maybe actually help fight homelessness, LGBT persecution, racial inequality, or other big and real problems. If we can make good on that ideal, I am pretty confident in my chances at the judgment bar.)

What makes you think God has a penis?
I don't buy into patriarchal bullshit.

He doesn't. God is immaterial.
The title is supposed to be representative of the relationship between God and man. As a father to his children. That's why we say He and God the father.
God, being immaterial, has no gender. He's made entirely of love, which has no physical attributes. (Why would he need them?)
If it makes you more comfortable, pray to love...that's what i used to do. I found it an easier title to relate to.

Where were you on 9-11?

koriwhore Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Where were you on 9-11?


Answer....helping the Muslims. Oh, didn't you know that they had the truth?

"I still don't believe in you!"

This!

"Fuck you."

Seriously. If there is a god then I hate him; it's as simple as that. I've always identified more with Satan than with Jesus, so send me straight to Outer Darkness. I want nothing to do with a being that would create a world like this, and then create a creature like me.

And this!

"As my loving Father, I'd rather that you tell ME what you love and appreciate about me" 3-2-1

If there truly was a loving Heavenly Father, he wouldn't be all judgey like that. He would first give me a HUGE celestial hug, tell me how wonderful it was to be able to meet face-to-face again, then tell me how much he loves me and appreciates all my efforts - and that he totally understands everything I did and hopes that overall it was a good experience, and that he's here for me if I want to talk about it any time, but for now, please just be comfortable, get a good rest and be happy.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/27/2015 09:46AM by seekyr.

You wanted me to be a liar and live a phoney life, instead of being honest and saying that I didn't see any evidence for your existence? No matter what you think, I will always know that I lived a genuine and honest life and I wouldn't change that if I could.

Also, a question, while I've got your attention. Little kids having cancer. Millions starving to death. Being put on a planet where you can't live without the Sun, but the Sun can kill you. Extreme cold. Extreme hot. Tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis, plagues. This growing older and deteriorating stuff.

Who's stupid idea was all of that???

You can't blame God for starving people. There are enough of us who have plenty, that we could feed and clothe all of them several times over. That is our fault.

From what i have read from people who have had those "i died and came back" experiences where they see Christ in heaven or hell, they say that you somehow comprehend that He is loving and just. You immediately understand what He does and it's fairness, so the judging part i think kind of goes out the window.
I would say simply that i did my best. I tried to be great, but i had to settle for just being okay, relying always on Him to bolster me through hard times. Whatever his judgement, i earned it.
I would say thank you for delivering me from the truly evil people who took advantage of my childish innocence. I would say thank you for bringing me to truth, and for creating me to be a person who questioned everything, and sought truth even when where truth took me was not where i necessarily wanted to go.
Thank you for giving me children. I hope i was a good steward to their souls. I loved them ao much more than my own life.
Thank you for the suffering, so that i could find my own strength in the face of pain, agony, cruelty and hardship so that others knew they too could find strength.
Thank you for my grandmothers and their example to lead lives of truth, even when their own children abandoned them for it.

I would be grateful. Because no matter how miserable my life has been at times, He always found a way to let me know that He was with me.

It's nice that you are able to create such a Pollyanna world with a nice god and all puppies and rainbows.

When people create a god that gets all the credit and never the blame, it usually means they have bought into the "its our fault" mentality.

If the the rose colored glasses are removed from people who mentally need to associate god only with love, it becomes apparent that god must be malicious, impotent or indifferent. They simply have ignored the reality around them. They have concluded anything bad should be blamed on god's faulty little pets- us.

truorderofawesome Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You can't blame God for starving people. There
> are enough of us who have plenty, that we could
> feed and clothe all of them several times over.
> That is our fault.

Then "god" is irrelevant. Check.

"On earth, we can only compare humans to other humans in order to ascertain what level of 'crazy' somebody is at. You, however, have taken 'crazy' to a whole nuther level, you asshole!"

I have been summoned, you say? . . . Red flag.

I don't show.


Somebody says he's a god, then he already knows how to find me.

Also, anyone who sits on a throne and encourages groveling is not a person I'm interested in visiting.

So .... Christian God ... Is Anne Frank in Hell according to you? If so PI$$ OFF!

You provided no evidence of your existence.
Those who claimed to know your "will" were irrational, illogical, egocentric, and generally violent.
So I lived my life based on rational thought, and a desire to live successfully and honestly among others.
If that's not good enough for you -- screw you.

(not that I think any such thing will ever occur, of course)

Where did you get that unicorn? I need me one of those.

"Why did you hide all sound evidence of your existence from your children? You gave me this brain, and you knew what it would take to convince this brain that you existed. You did not provide this evidence. So whose fault it is that I did not believe in you?"

Now this is a reasonable request, imo.

If you made me and my mind, then you know what i need to believe.
Perhaps as life orogrrsses that will happen, and perhaps not. This seems a very reasonable question.

"Do you have a notepad and pencil, and the winning lotto numbers for Saturday?

Thanks Dude, I owe ya one!"



Honestly, I was trying to think of something profound...

Why do women get the worst of it? Bad treatment throughout all history and blame for all the woes of man, not to mention menstrual issues, more opportunities for cancer (more internal body parts) and autoimmune diseases like MS, RA, and Lupus. More prone to dementia and Alzheimer's. The only good thing about being female is the ability to bear children.

"Given all the pestilence and punishment you meted out to sinners back in the day, WTF happened during the holocaust, the Pol Pot regime, the Haiti earthquake, all the sunami's and on and on? Out on your coffee break?

RB

Heavenly father, you are speaking to an urban school teacher. You can't scare me. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. Now open those Pearly Gates, young man! ;)

I wouldn't say anything because I don't talk to imaginary people.

F#ck you, you cruel narcisistic bastard!

What! No clothes again!

You are such a kind and loving God, that loves each of us because we are your literal children, but you are thinking of banishing us to everlasting misery? You're so nice.