Was it one bit "a-ha" moment or more of exit by a thousand reality check cuts that you couldn't dismiss?

How many of you were living in the Mormon bubble/corridor? How many of you were exposed to more diversity of non-Mormons?

It was my eyes being opened. For most of my time in the church I never seriously considered that it wasn't true. I knew there were "anti-Mormons," but I thought if they just truly understood what I knew, they wouldn't fight against the church. I figured they had hardened their heart to the spirit. All I wanted to do was whatever Heavenly Father wanted me to do.

Then, I started coming across information, like the fact that lots of people have the same Holy Ghost experiences as I had had, but they weren't LDS. And then I learned about the Book of Abraham. And then I finally paid attention to the anachronisms in the BOM. Through all of that I figured it was Satan trying to deceive me because I was "one of the very elect."

When I finally accepted that it was all founded on lies, I knew I had to get out. Bottom line--a thousand little cuts of reality.

It was a buildup of little things: these things included a lack of testimony in spite of REALLY trying to get one, unanswered prayers, scientific problems with biblical beliefs, blatant hypocrisy in people I knew, lack of spiritual fulfillment, and life experiences that cast doubt on my beliefs.

One evening something clicked and I realized there was a huge problem. And I started considering the possibility that it might not be true. After studying a lot, I realized it was not.

Lots of little issues building up over time.

Then one day, dawning realisation it was a fraud, all little issues now made perfect sense. The switch from TBM to total disbelief in everything Mormon took 1 second.

I remember exactly where I was. I was driving down Mason Rd, just going past the Autozone store. BAM! No more testimony.

Not in the Mormon bubble, never lived in Utah. And I Was very exposed to diverse cultures, having traveled all over the world for my job, and working with people from all over the world on a daily basis.

One "AHA" moment while reading MoF. At BYU when this happened. No facts to go on. Started to feel a distance from all things Mormon for no reason some months before, but would have still borne my testimony. This was decades ago and there was no smoking gun yet, or should I say smoking Google?

I had not been exposed to much diversity except through the mission in a foreign country. I just knew instantly that SWK was poison as I read his words. I required no second opinion.

I grew up in Brigham City. I knew next to NO nonmormons. I went to work at Thiokol. Lots of nonmormons there. Some of my very best friends are/were nonmormon. I was rather amazed by what I learned.

There were a lot of hints along the way. I was actually going inactive at the time I met my gay husband at age 25. I'd just had it. Well, then I had this problem in my face and I went back as I had to save him. So many experiences, so many things that happened. It happened to be one day that I was out walking at the middle school track. One of my best friend's daughters was getting married in the temple. If problems arose with the marriage plans, she kept saying, "The church is still true, so why does it matter?" And that statement kept going through my mind and I realized that IT MATTERED TO ME. Every last belief fell apart at that moment. I never looked back. That was 11 or 12 years ago. I had been inactive for about 10 years then, but not because I didn't believe. I knew my kids would be treated like I had been as a child if my ex left us and for other reasons, I went inactive. I had been extremely devout all my life so much so that my parents would actually argue about whose fault it was I left the church. THEY NEVER EXPECTED I would ever leave.

Longer than I planned and all the long-time members of the board have read my story hundreds of times.

I was in the bubble. I'm a sixth generation Provoan. I still live close to the bubble and most my friends are Mormon. I have some new friends that aren't LDS, but I have a hard time relating to them and I wouldn't call them close friends. I kind of prefer it that way. I have a lot of hope in getting many of my friends and family out of the cult. Although I'm out of TSCC, I still am close with my mormon homies and family. I get a kick out of my friends asking me questions about my new way of life. I can tell their mind is thinking and their hidden consciousness is trying to get them out.

I'd had issues for years, but it did explode in one incident. I think many people have the proverbial straw moment. One incident may seem trivial, but it's just the one that puts you over the top.

I'd been skipping Priesthood for years because I couldn't stand the arrogant Bible bashing among RMs and the parent-focused lessons. I had a lot of problems with my mission, mostly with the way the mission home treated missionaries. Polygamy bothered me a lot, as did the racism. Being gay, that was the last straw.

Mormons may claim I left to sin, but the problem was: do I trade my life for the church. I couldn't give my life away for a church that had so many glaring issues. The longer I've been away, the worse the church looks in the distance.

My convert informs me that Gordon Hinckley disavows MORmON doctUrine of men becoming gods.


Local MORmON leadership attempts to ex comm my convert mostly because he did not kiss their ass the way that they thought he should have. It showed me how much LD$ Inc really values converts, in spite of all they say = really not very much.
LD$ Inc LOVES money, but even Money takes a back seat to pushing people around at times.


MORmON PRofit Gordon BS Hinckley disavows MORmON doctUrine of polygamy. MORmON PRofit Gordon BS Hinckley tells Larry King
(who was practicing a form of polygamy of his own as he was screwing his MORmON wife's sister) on national TV that MORmON polygamy is "not doctrinal".

Utah reporters Lynn Packer and Chris Vanocur reveal that they have traced 2 million dollars in cash that funded SLOC operations including Olympic Bid Scandal Bribes
(Salt Lake Organizing Committee = Salt Lake Olympic Committee) back to LD$ Inc. LD$ Inc does not dare to deny this report. LD$ Inc response: It was not offering money (SO it's OK).

I must have had a revelation. Before this was announced, in anticipation, I told family members that IF it was discovered that LD$ Inc has given cash to the Olympic effort, then I was going to quit the church. I expected that LD$ Inc had given cash to IOC. The fact that it was channeled through SLOC in the form of bribes only made the matter WORSE. I was unable to make the MORmON distinction between LD$ Inc offering funds and LD$ Inc business funds. ........Even though I am able to tell the difference between MORmON Jesus and the New testament Christ.

Wait . . . WHAT!!!!!?

I thought I had heard it all. But somehow I missed the story about the LDS church being involved in the Olympic bribe scandal.

Got any links to share on that? If not, I guess I can search it.

Holy smokes.

LD$ Inc involvement in the Olympic Bid Bribery Scandal is the pivotal issue that finally pushed me over the edge and OUT of the MORmON cult. So its pretty firmly registered in my mind. I love throwing LD$ Inc transgressions back in to their sanctimonious MORmON faces. I am all for documentation. I love the supple video capability of the current digital information age. It so readily facilitates calling up scenes where MORmON leaders make total asses of themselves in a way that just can not be topped, because no one portrays MORmONS as Asses better than MORmONS themselves do.

MORmON PRofit Gordon "Standing For Something" Hinckley went on Larry King Live Sep 8 1998 to try to capitalize on the problems that Bill Clinton was having over his scandal relative to Monica Lewinsky. (Bill Clinton NEVER claimed to be a saint) Hinckley delivered a truly slimy two face double talking performance where he tried to condemn general moral decay, and stab Bill Clinton in the back and kiss Bill Clinton's ass at the same time. It was pathetic. ( watch it if you have the chance) Hinckley was quite VISIBLE and outspoken on moral issues in general, as he appeared on National TV in his self appointed MORmON role of moral vanguard, compelled by his own (supposed) higher sense of morality. Just a few days later, the announcement came that 2$ million in cash -the bulk of SLOC's funds, had been traced back to LD$ Inc. (Gutless Spineless Pu$$y) PRofit Standing For Something Hinckley was no where to be seen. The official church spokesman Don LeFever had to be sent out to address the media on the issue. There was no denial because Vanocur and Packer had hard facts, just as they knew that they have to in order to pin LD$ Inc down on such a matter, or else they would have the story blow up in their faces. The official response of THE church delivered by LeFever ( NOT by Pres Higher Morality and Standing for Something ........whatever it might be, PRofit LIAR Hinckley) was that the big time LDS Inc donation to SLOC came from LD$ Inc business funds, not from LD$ Inc funds coming from offering money...... because LDS Inc is just such a gosh darn nice concerned member of the community including being a strident Olympic supporter. That was supposed to make everything OK. Most MORmONS had their MORmON heads so far up their lower MORmON Information holes that they did not even notice what had happened. I did not miss the fact that LeFever's commentary/ statement was actually a de facto admission of what I had said all along: that it would be wrong for the MORmON church to dole out money to a cause like the Olympics.

I would love to get my hands on the video of that press conference. Just like I would love to get a video copy of Oak's 1985 Salamander talk that has miraculously vanished/ disappeared...... just like the GOld plates!!! It would be posted all over youtube. I have extensively searched and researched the Utah Newspaper archives in the hope of finding a newspaper articles on the matter, which I would photograph and post on the internet as well. Such searches always come up miraculously empty. It is quite apparent to me that *SOME BODY* has put a lot of effort into seeing that this highly embarrassing story has been scrubbed from the local media archives. It certainly explains a lot of why LDS Inc was so interested in buying out the SL Tribune.

I would love to see a book written on this matter ! Vanocur! Packer! WHERE ARE YOU ON THIS !!! and on the 11.5 Million Dollar Federal Criminal case over the 2002 bid scandal that was tossed out by MORmON Fed judge David Sams. The Fed prosecutors felt strongly enough to appeal Sam's actions, and they won. Sadly the Federal appellate court sent the matter back to Sams again, who just threw it out again. Proving once again that MORmONS have no business being judges!!! That summary dismissal of that case is too bad, but its not like LD$ Inc has had good fortune since covering up their 2002 Olympic bribes mess. They ran MORmON Romney for president which turned out to be a disaster for them. (Glenn Beck does not even like Romney, Beck heard ragging on Mitt just this morning on the radio.) and then there is the CCC mall boondoggle and Filthy PERVERT MORmON Joe Smith's wretched ugly past that LD$ Inc can not keep buried.

All of these kinds of things, The blacks getting the MORmON priestDUD, the Jazz coming to Utah, Watering down the MORmON temple ceremony, SL Lite Rail, CCC Mall, Rommney for Pres, The 2002 MO'lympics, they were ALL part of SHYSTER Hinckleys master plan to peddle the Gold plates /Book of MORmON and stupid secret temple handshakes MORmON scam.

Wow. Somehow I missed a lot of that when it happened. Thanks for the additional info.

In the CES letter, the author quotes part of the 1985 defense, and has a link that leads here:

http://www.scottwoodward.org/Talks/html/Oaks,%20Dallin%20H/OaksDH_ReadingChurchHistory.html

I'm assuming this is it for reals.

Thousand reality checks here, though I have to admit to never really being a true believer. I wanted to believe for awhile after my baptism... But it never happened.

I currently live in the Mormon Bubble, as I did during elementary/middle schools, but during high school I lived overseas with a much better diversity. Mormons were a tiny minority there. But again I found that non-Mormons were generally more open, welcoming and kind than Mormons. And I found that telling. I was actually kind of ashamed to be part of the "Mormon group" at my school.

Grew up in Mid-west. Converted to Mormonism. Was taught only very basic doctrine of Joseph Smith being a prophet and the Book of Mormon. Knew very little of the "meat". Went to BYU but didn't stay in Utah. Didn't believe a lot of the things Utah Mormons believed but didn't think it was doctrinal so I didn't care. Woke-up to the fact that I was very ignorant of my religion and began to study more in-depth doctrine. What really hit me hard was not so much the doctrine but that the church promoted Joseph Smith as an almost saint of a man when history proved him really quite horrible. The church re-wrote history and assassinated the character of anyone who told the truth, mainly William Law. I was crushed and angry at having been so trusting. Continued studying and everything went downhill from there.

As a side note, I find the trickery of teaching "milk before meat" a sad commentary on Mormonism. Had I known the meat straight away I'd never have been a member for so long and they know that. Had the internet been available, and had I been older and more inclined to skepticism, Mormonism would have been a blip in my memory.

Grew up in bubble, small town North of Park City. LD$ was the only context for life.

I always suspected the church and its claims, but resolved to believing until middle age. I did everything right hoping for marriage and a blissful LD$ life. My P. Blessing said I would be in the higher leadership of the church. But, it didn't seem like me.

So, the church/gospel began to lose relevance, but I still held on until I finally I think I was ready to open that forbidden door labeled research lab. I had a roommate/friend who I knew was disaffected from the church. We didn't talk about it before, but I knew I could ask.

So, I did. I asked, "So, what are the issues you have with the church?" That was basically the moment that changed everything. I knew it wasn't looking good for the church. So, it didn't take long at all when I began doing some research. within a couple days I lost my testimony.

Know I'm just trying to live an authentic life and put it behind me. But, my wife is TBM. So, it's an uphill climb.

Verrrrry gradual. It began when I was a teenager and quit caring about church in general but kept up appearances until I was ordained an elder, then quit attending a month or so later. My parents did not give me any ultimatums or disown me and then I fell in love and married a Catholic. I didn't resign until I discovered this site and found out I could resign, so I did in 2012.

RB

As a TBM, I never questioned whether the church was true--It never occurred to me that it was even possible for it NOT to be true. Sure, there was a lot of cognitive dissonance (story of Noah, evolution, etc), but I always had some pseudo-logical way of getting myself around those issues.

No, for me, it all happened practically in an instant.

The BoM was the Achilles Heel for me. Reading the CES Letter, specifically the part referencing books published prior to the BoM, it occurred to me, for the first time, that the BoM might not be what I always assumed it was.

Once that door was opened, wow... everything collapsed... probably took less than an hour.

BIC first born son, not from the bubble but the way I was raised would have you believe different. Very sheltered childhood, mum was only comfortable with having me playing with other mormon kids, which given my curious/rebellious nature even then, drove me to seek friendships in 'the wrong places'.

Fast forward to 15-18 were I have a very health interest in the opposite sex and lack of interest in church or serving a mission, eventually leading me to go inactive due to guilt for my sinful nature.

Then 2 years ago for some random reason was thinking about temple/heavenly names and was curious to see if anyone was willing to publish theirs on the internets (despite the churchs threats of punishment) lo and behold I found the wonderful RfM website and discovered that God was so creative with naming his children that Fred & Ethel were common place and that if you happened to go through the temple on the same day as your best mate youd have the same name, how spiritually inspiring. This lead to more research into temple proceedings and goings on where I learnt all about blood atonement and the pre-90s symbolic throat slitting, naked annointing and completely misogynistic cealing ceremony (woman literally becoming the mans property)

As you can imagine my world changed in the blink of an eye, suddenly everything fell into place and I felt something stir inside me, but this wasnt a mere visit for ye old holy ghost, but a welling up of Rage and Hatred at the lies id been force fed and the unwarrented guilt of being a "sinful little shit" (mums words). I will never forget that moment, that singular instant when I realised none of it was true.

Stay awesome RfM

Hi. I formerly posted as "cludgie." (Hi cl2! Yo! Over here!) I come here actually rather frequently for a good read or two, and at least three of you here know that.

This subject is very sensitive for me, almost emotional. Because in 2007 I was working overseas and had to come into work on weekends to babysit some computer equipment, and got on-line a lot, since we didn't have Internet at home and I wasn't doing any real "work" on the weekends.

I was mentally a bit out the door, anyway, when I read somewhere that important dates in the "Book of Commandments," the predecessor to the D&C, were changed at publication of the D&C because they didn't line up with the new revelations. It made me angry, so I thought I'd get to the end of it and searched all over the Internet. I don't think I found any more on that subject, but during one Google search I came across this site. Only a couple months later I wrote a letter to the family (on Dec 7, 2007) saying I planned to resign my membership. I had never even known about resignation of LDS church membership before, and now I had planned to do it.

I held onto the letter, and finally released it to the bishop and my family when we returned from abroad, in mid-2008. Then I balked at resigning, but decided I couldn't go into 2009 as a Mormon, so I resigned right at the first of the year.

Thanks, RfM! And everyone who had a part. I'm looking at you, Richard, Anagrammy, Cheryl, NoLiHoMa (Normarae), AusGaz (passed away), Deenie (also gone), and so many others. (I'm trying to type quickly and can't think of everyone else under pressure.) Anyway, 2007 to 2011 or so were golden RfM years for me.

I'm glad you are stopping in now and again to see what the new kids are up to.

I am wondering where the conspiracy theorists are ....oh, ok, they're over there calculating how close in time (or was it space?) the three dying apostles have to be before it means the church is collapsing....


:)

K

The breaking point was discovering Joe Smith's polyandry and marrying very young girls. It immediately clicked that he was a cult leader just like so many modern day ones, who demand to be the boss bull and have sex with as many followers as they please. This led to further investigation of the criminal Smith. Perhaps it was no big surprise that I found him to be a swindler, cheat and even a traitor.

My exit was so gradual that I couldn't even tell you what year I crossed the line from believer to non-believer. My main problem was never getting a testimony of the BoM, despite reading it many times. I did the "right" things: served a mission, served in many ward and stake callings, read and studied scriptures, prayed often. I just always had to convince myself that I believed. Eventually, I stopped paying tithing, stopped attending, and admitted to myself that I never had a testimony.

I didn't even know about many of the historical and doctrinal problems until after I was no longer mentally, emotionally, or spiritually a Mormon.

(How do you make that extra large smiley emoticon?)


I was military brat... I had heard it all. People just got things wrong. After all, the church wouldn't lie to us, and the people of the church say it was all lies.


But then, one Sunday 10 years ago this last June, I was reading the Ensign online, and read a different version of the first vision that I had grown up with. IT HAD TO BE WRONG! But, then I found that the church approved of this version. Not only that, but there were MANY different versions. Some nothing like the one I grew up with or the one in that Ensign issue! So much different I suddenly knew Joseph LIED! If he had lied about that, what else did he lie about?

I then started taking those things I'd heard in the past, and started really 'looking' at them. Taking them one by one off the shelf. Suddenly, not only was there no shelf, there as no corner stone! A wrecking ball called, "The First Vision" had completely smashed my foundation!

So, I guess for me it was a combination of both!

My wife and I left the church practically overnight. We must have been doubting or something for a while, but considered ourselves believers, held callings, and went to church every week.

I grew up in Boise, which is kind of on the outer edge of the "bubble", but many of my friends were non-Mormon. After high school, I've lived in three different non-bubble states.

Never could wrap my head around any xtianity. Come to find out the only thing Mormons and Christians have in common is the same thing with all world religions. They are false, not true, make believe.

Death by a thousand cuts.

Mine was a long slow exit that took about six years. Looking back on it, I had enough evidence early on that I should have concluded that the church was not true and taken action long before I did. I was scared of change, indecisive, suffering from inertia, was going to school and was still financially dependent on my parents, and was having trouble imagining what a life without Mormonism would look like.

I used to live in Utah, but had moved to Arizona by the time of my faith crisis. There was a substantial minority of Mormons living in my area, but I was being exposed to lots of people of other religions and belief systems.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/01/2015 05:12PM by Heretic 2.