I just posted my exit story... Not too interesting but felt the need to post it to get it off my chest and move on in my life.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?3,1684756

So my question is, were any of you extremely active in church when you decided to leave. As of now we hold church callings, my husband is the ward membership clerk, and I'm in the primary(in nursery with 4 other nursery workers) and also a relief society worker who helps plan activities. As far as I know we don't plan on going back, ever. Should we tell people to release us? I really dont want to draw attention to myself, but i don't think we will be able to avoid it. I was on a walk in our neighborhood when one of the ladies from primary presidency pulled over and said she missed us on sunday, and I sort of said yep and it was kind of akward and we said bye to eachother and she drove off. And that was with only missing ONE time. I don't really feel like i need to lie or come up with an excuse to miss church. I also feel like it's no one's business if we don't go, i just don't want people to pester us about it.

We are pretty new to the ward, only been here two years, don't really have any friends. I pretty much have only one friend in the ward. I just hope they only pay us much attention to us as when we had a baby, or when my daughter was in the hospital for three days (which was pretty much no attention at all). We've never had home teachers, and I could probably count on one hand how many times I've been visited by VT.I just feel like with us being active and going with the flo no one really cares about us much, but once we start missing church then people will start to notice, and THEN they're start to care.

I was serving on a high council and asked to be released.

Same here ;)

I was completely active with two callings when I stopped believing. I was lucky though, because I was already planning on moving in a few months. I kept going until that time, and then faded into the abyss.

That reminds me of something. When I was a kid there were people who moved away, who others thought had left the cult. Yet, then there were people who had actually left the cult, who others thought had moved away. With the latter, sometimes it happened to be both.

We will be moving in a few months as well, but not until spring. I don't think we would be able to stand going for another 5-6 months.

I was. asking to be released will definitely call attention. If you want to just stop going and have them eventually decide to release you on your own I feel that may actually cause less waves. Not that you won't be bothered by "concerned" members, but it could stave off a full-blown confrontation...

I guess it depends on how much they need you in your callings. I mean, it would be kind of harsh to just drop a job you agreed to do with no notice. Yes, it will bring attention, but maybe they would appreciate the straight-forwardness even if they don't admit it to themselves? Also, it may make the attention shorter-lived. I have found that people try to fellowship me for up to a year and when they realize that I really do not believe in the church and their fellowship is not changing that, they disappear. Just my two cents. Every ward is different.

Little if any activity following my stint as an ordinance worker at the Jordan River Temple. That ten month experience pretty much killed my spiritual life. I thought it would be wonderful and uplifting. It was just the opposite. Plus, I have severe claustrophobia and there are no windows in the place. Six to seven hours without a chance to be outside - not good. I had major panic attacks combined with massive cognitive dissonance. I sought enlightenment and found it in a progression of historical books about Mormon origins. The evil internet came later.

Yeah, I was working for the Church. I had to be completely active in order to keep my job. I left the Church pretty much from the point that I left the job.

Asking or telling people to release you is Mormon-speak. What I would do is tell the bishop that as of [date,] you will no longer be performing the stated callings. No explanation is needed, but one thought would be to add that you are house-hunting and preparing to move. That might keep you off of their radar.

I appreciated your exit story. How awesome that you and your husband are on the same page!

We can't really pull the whole "we're house hunting" thing because we will be moving over seas! I suppose we could use "trying to fix up the house before we move" tactic? Although I don't think that's a good enough of an excuse, not that i think I need an excuse.

It's wonderful that both you and your husband wanted to leave. Well done!

You mention you don't feel like resigning and you don't want to be bothered. Are you inactive and being harassed?

You also said you're moving. That should help. But they'll almost certainly send your records on if you want them to or not. They try their best to track down EVERYONE who moves and eventually the visits start at the new address. Be prepared for this.

It is usually easier to tell strangers to stay away than long term wardmembers who were friends.

Good luck with your move and your recovery.

We've only missed one sunday! But even with that I had a lady from the primary presidency notice that we weren't there, and I guess I'm just anticipating them noticing that we're not there and making an effort to get us back. At our ward before we would go 50-75% of the time so pretty active but not inactive and we were always getting visited by the EQ president and missionaries... is that normal?

Yes. I had given my bishop and stake leaders a one-year notice. I told them I no longer believed, but would like to. If they had any wisdom or counsel to share, to pass it on because, at the end of the one year, if I still felt the same way, I was gone.

All I got was the lame "pray harder, study harder" advice. I responded, "But that's what got me here."

So for a year I kept every calling they had given me and fulfilled them the best I could. At the end of the year, I simply said, "time's up," and literally and figuratively handed them all my keys to the building and kingdom.

I was teaching elders quorum when I decided to go. I called the EQ president and said I wasn't going to teach or attend anymore.

Yes, I was in the Primary Presidency when I discovered that

the church was a POS so I gave my two week notice and

told my Home Teacher that I no longer believed and in two

weeks I left. I couldn't wait to get out. I never looked

back. I was never sorry.

Bishopric. Asked to be released. Shortly afterward just stopped and did not show up again for several months. I only step in building now to support a family member when something specific is going on. I say hello to all I know and ask them how their family and such are doing. I stay completely positive and happy - which I really am now :)

I went completely inactive two weeks after returning from my mission. I'd say being on a mission is "very active." :)
Officially left within three months of returning, after essentially hiding out for two and a half months.

So, yeah :)

Liked your story, by the way!

My dad was active when he left. He didn't have a major calling at the time though.

yes, just finished stint in LA temple as an ordinance worker. And I too thought that would be a " mountain top" experience. But it only showed me what a bunch of crock it was. The whole church.

Especially entering names and temple work into a computer. Right. CK has a computer up there.???!!!


And the new name thing. Stupid. It showed me a the secrets of what happens behind the curtain.

Just plain stupid.

But what drove the nail into the coffin was the stupidity of the Priesthood in my stake/ward. The ego's and the authority .

Idiots.

I rarely missed a Sunday until I quit going cold turkey. But even though I was completely active, I didn't believe in any of it. I was just trying to find a way to leave.

I gave myself a year to figure out a way to free myself from the church and promised myself that when the new year rolled around I wouldn't be going anymore. At the end of the year, I still didn't have a very good plan--I'm not sure a good plan exists. I taught Primary on the last Sunday in December, asked to be released, told my husband I wasn't going back and never went again.

We moved into a new ward a few months before leaving. As far as callings, my wife didn't have one, and I had a calling in the EQ. I was also Webelos leader, but Cub Scouts was on hiatus for the summer. We were a little abrupt and gave zero notice. We emailed the bishop to let him know we were done about three months ago.

Welcome to being out.

I taught Gospel Doctrine and served in the Bishopric and actually did all my duties the last day I attended church. I turned in my keys and books to the Bishop, told him I was resigning, and left it at that.

It was nuts, now that I look back on it.

I don't think I was psychologically or emotionally ready for that leap. It screwed me up for awhile.

Actually I've noticed quite a few Gospel Doctrine teachers and Bishopric members leave. They usually leave because they start reading up on some topic, not from anti-Mormons and anti-Mormon literature; no, it's usually from the Corporation itself.

I knew a Jim Mitchell in eastern Oregon as a kid.

Wow thanks for all the replies! I'm surprised this topic generated so many comments, but even more surprised that pretty much all of you were active members when you left. My callings do not rely solely on me to get the job done, I'm in nursery and there are like three or four other leaders that could easily do fine without me. And for relief society there are a group of 7-8 ladies who plan the quarterly relief society activities. I was honestly surpised at how many ladies there were at our last meeting, does it really take that many women to plan a party? I know when I was first called to that position, there was another women in the group who never came to the meetings to plan the parties, I figured it was one of those callings to try to get her to attend and be active in the ward in some way. Never met her, still don't know who she is...
After giving it a lot of thought I think I will just text the primary president and ask to be released, and just tell her it's not my thing :)
As for my husband, he is ward clerk who was just called several weeks ago. Before there wasn't a membership clerk, but felt the need to create this new calling because the ward clerk was so behind on membership records. So they are relying on him pretty heavily to get the job done, although I don't think he has any plans on going back.
As for us moving it won't be for another few months. We are moving over seas, and will be living on a military base. I'm crossing my fingers that they won't find us there! Because technically the missionaries won't be able to go on base door to door, I don't see how else they would be able to find us...(I probably shouldn't underestimate them though)

Yes, you will get a lot of attention, if you stop attending--too much attention! My children and I were harassed to the point that we had to resign, to make it stop. Men in groups of two and sometimes three rang our doorbell late at night, even when the porch light was off. When my children went away to school, the Mormons hounded me for their addresses. I said, "I won't give my children's information without their consent."

When the kids were still here, we were insulted and threatened in our own home, by people I thought were "friends."

We aren't talking about a church, here. Mormonism is a CULT. You can't just walk out the door, like you can with churches. We drop in and out of the Lutheran and Methodist churches--with friends, for Christmas Eve service, or other special events. No one says "We missed you at church." No one comes banging on our doors.

I was the ward and stake organist--a huge job--and evidently no one else in our ward could play the organ. I also accompanied people who would sing or play an instrument in sacrament meeting. I also accompanied the choir most of the time. This included rehearsals! My second calling was teaching in the Sunday school, because I had a teaching certificate, before I had my family.

I did quit my callings, just because I felt it would be rude to just be a no-show for the kids, and to leave the chapel suddenly empty of music for their service. When I quit the organ, they tried to talk me into teaching someone else to play. I used to be a professional piano teacher, and I said that I didn't want to work for free, anymore. I was divorced, and had to support my family. The Mormons got nasty after that, and I've been shunned, ever since.

Formally resigning made the Mormons stop harassing us, about 80% of it, anyway. It was so worth it!

Active? I was a missionary when I came to believe that the LDS Church was a bunch of lies.

I was very active and had just returned from serving almost a year of active duty in Germany. I was denied a renewal of my recommend because the bishop thought I needed to be "out of the military" for a bit longer to prove my "worthiness", because he just knew what servicemen were always up to on foreign deployments. I was done playing what I thought was a big phony game.

Wow, that is despicable. It was my temple recommend interview that eventually led me to question as well. I was asked if i sustained the prophet, but not jesus christ and my heart sunk. It was then that I started to realize that this "religion" is man made.

Yep...very active; Mormon through and through...5 generations on both sides. I was in the RS presidency at the time I was on my way out; RS President 5 years prior to that. Shock-wave through the morg universe when I left as I was sooo-uber-ultra TBM. Divorced now...he was re-married 1-1/2 months later.

Thank-you for sharing your story; I'm sooo glad that you can exit with your family in-tact. Things are going to be a bit dicey for a little while, but you'll handle it by being honest and authentic...you get to create what you want your life to look like rather than have it dictated to you from 'headquarters.'

My very best wishes to you in your grand, awesome, new adventure.

TBM through and through - to the point that When I was a kid I used to be so disappointed in my big sisters if I saw them drinking coke! On the day I took my endowments out I fasted - refusing to eat despite my Mother's admonition that it would be a several hours - because I wanted to be extra spiritually enlightened! (Little did I know at the time - that was the beginning of the end. (SO many strange surprises that day - my fiance's baker's cap, NOT being able to sit next to him, being told that I was about to make promises - even though I didn't yet know what those promises were! , covering my face with a veil, promising to OBEY my husband - a man, even though he got to obey a God. Weirdly - the slashing the throat thing didn't seem to phase me - because my faith was SO strong - I knew I would never reveal any sacred secrets - so no issue there of course!

When I left I was in the RS presidency. Previous to that I was YW president - a job right up my alley. EXCEPT for the fact that I was a working Mom with 3 young girls, including a baby. EACH time I ASKED my bishop to be released he assured me that I'd be FINE. I didn't FEEL fine - WAY too busy - but my faith kept me in. We finally ended up buying a house - which caused us to MOVE - which meant an automatic release - phew!

I was completely active and very unhappy right before I left. I had no testimony and had never felt the spirit. One Sunday I left a meeting in the middle and have never gone back since except for a couple of special family occasions.