Original thread was
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1688863

Many posters pointed out that the note was passive/aggressive, rude, and written like a ten-year-old would. But here's the thing. The whole story is one-sided: all we have is the words of the mother, and the note she produced. We haven't heard from the "rude" customers who wrote the note. Could it be they wrote a much kinder, gentler note that struck a nerve and pushed mom into a state of denial? Could it be the baby's family threw away the original note/letter and counterfeited this? Could it be the ladies did not write a note at all, but tried to discuss it in a civilised manner? Could it be the two rude ladies do not even exist, except as a generic composition made of the many clients who complained? We don't know. Yet so many assumptions were made on the basis of this note!

What do you all think?

Also, many said this restaurant was known to be noisy with outgoing people partying. May well be. But that noise is quite different from a screaming baby. If an adult women were to screech at the top of her lungs in a disco, she would be removed by security very soon.

Again, just my two cents. Yours?

I felt the story was meant to piss off Mormon mothers. It was put on KSL because that is the website Mormons go to for news and interesting stories. It is hard for these moms to go to places with all those screaming children. It is downright annoying going somewhere in Utah and here a million screaming babies. I don't feel sympathy. People should get baby sitters for their kids, or take them outside of the restaurant until the kid quits crying. The same goes for movies, why not restaurants?

Because restaurants, especially Texas Roadhouse, are not quiet.

Somebody who likely doesn't want to disturb other customers. Most places for babies--play centers, daycares, etc--are all very loud!

I was a waitress for many years. I have had young children of my own. I remember leaving many restaurants if my young children were misbehaving or crying. Now as an adult I cringe when someone will not take their child out if they are disturbing others. It is rude and inconsiderate to everyone who is paying good money to enjoy a night out.

Screaming baby's note to diners: "Waaaaaaaaaahhhhh!"

1. Yes, the entire story could be fabricated, but that's true of anything on the internet. That's not really "another side" as much as it is a risk you take whenever you discuss anything that goes viral. Also, just as we don't know how rude the women really were, we also don't know if the yelling/screaming was actually bad at all or if the complainers were crotchety, snobby, and expecting way too much from a Texas Roadhouse dining experience. That is equally likely.

2. Adult women have other ways of expressing themselves. Babies do not. The baby is at a loud place with excited people and may have just been, like them, loud and excited. Inconvenience is part of being in public and you risk it every time you go outside or to any public space. Maybe the mother could have done better, but based on the note (which is the only proof of the interaction we have), the women complaining definitely could have. If your aim is truly to help a mother get better manners in restaurants, this plan backfired pretty badly.

It is in NO WAY the fault of the baby. It is 100% the fault of the mom.

I was at a lovely wedding in lodge in the woods. The couple were making their vows to each other and everyone was listening carefully. In the row behind me, a 3-4 year old, bored, started crying loudly. He cried and cried and his clueless mom did nothing!

In contrast, another mom with a small baby, got up and took her baby, who was starting to be a little fussy, outside to avoid ruining the ceremony.

One mother was polite and considerate--the other not.

When my daughter was a baby, we didn't leave her home with a sitter very often, but we also didn't take her places where she was not going to be able to be comfortable or quiet.

Period!

That's definitely messed up, but this was no wedding. Parents don't just have to stay home 100% of the time. You can't always predict exactly when a baby will be fussy and you can't always immediately leave.

No, but you can get up and walk around with the baby. Often a little movement, attention or distraction will calm a fussy baby.

It certainly helps the parent calm down and defuses an uncomfortable situation.

It also lets others know that the mom understands their discomfort.

I will say that people do things I don't understand such as taking small children to a movie that is extremely scary and violent--the first Lord of the Rings, for example.

I think they parents are brain dead.

My thoughts:

I wonder how they could hear ANYTHING over the noise in Texas Roadhouse. If they wanted a pleasant dining experience, it seems like the wrong venue.

That said, it's the parents responsibility to keep their kids from screaming or causing chaos in restaurants. It doesn't matter what the excuse is for the baby or child acting that way. If you can't keep the kid reasonably quiet, they should be at home with the sitter. Or try takeout.

The note was admittedly recreated to post up on social media. REALLY? Hey, at least the mother got a free meal.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3262394/Thank-ruining-dinner-Mother-receives-spiteful-note-fellow-diners-family-friendly-restaurant-baby-yelled-meal.html

One more thing, the mother said she was trying to teach the 10 month old baby the word 'no' and not to yell. Good luck with the yelling.

Yeah, depends on a case by case basis. There are truly ridiculous amounts of crying and there is normal to fussy baby behavior. You have to learn to deal with that even if it's a bit inconvenient. Just as people can't run around catering to you because you're a mom or dad, people with kids don't have to constantly inconvenience themselves so people never have to hear a peep out of their child. Babies cry and make noise. That's life.

I noticed when my baby boy was carrying on many people would look over and smile. When I hear a crying baby, I usually do the same. For all the people who get up in arms over a crying baby, there are plenty who enjoy that part of a person's life showing up.

Going with the assumption that the note and story as reported is accurate, I have to side with the customers that are trying to enjoy a meal. Although, I do think the complaint could have been handled differently. The note was very passive aggressive.

I have 6 kids. We rarely took our kids to restaurants because of situations like this. Having six, there was always a young one that is still learning how to act. A 10 month old is very unpredictable.

I do not agree with the - it's Texas Roadhouse arguement. I eat at TRH often. It is loud. The expected noise is talking, laughing, music, an occasional birthday song. I know I am going to get that and choose to live with it because I like thier food. A baby continually screaming loudly whether its happy or not is not what I expect when I go there. The place to teach babies how to be quiet is at home, not in a restaurant. If it were McDonald's, I would expect sreaming kids.

As far as the story as reported, I have my doubts. The re-created note could have been reworded as well. The whole recreated part of it is wierd at best, suspicious in my opinion. Next thing you know it, the couple will be starting a go.fund.me account for themselves.

Riverman Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I do not agree with the - it's Texas Roadhouse
> arguement. I eat at TRH often. It is loud. The
> expected noise is talking, laughing, music, an
> occasional birthday song. I know I am going to get
> that and choose to live with it because I like
> thier food. A baby continually screaming loudly
> whether its happy or not is not what I expect when
> I go there.

+1!

Utahans take kids every place including many that are totally inappropriate. Example R-rated comedy club. NC17 movie showing late at night. these are places you should not take kids but Utahans do it.

We're all humans who get hungry and sometimes are away from home when we need food.

It's impossible to reason with a still non-verbal infant. I would hope the parents would go to a casual diner with other families around.

The only time I'd object is if the place was quiet and very expensive and diners were all out celebrating their birthdays and such or closing important business deals.

Yup, good point. We have all had or been a noise-making baby. I get that there are limits, but sometimes I wish people would give parents (who are trying their best and also trying to relax) more of a break. Nobody can control their infant's noises 100% of the time and parents should be able to enjoy a night out every once in a while with their child.

One other thing that's curious about this incident is management. If management had agreed that the baby was truly out of control enough to disturb other patrons' meals to a large extent, if they were reasonable at all, they would have discounted the meals of the other customers, and it's likely that more people would have complained. The fact that management chose to appease the mom instead of the other patrons suggests that the baby's noises were not unreasonable but that the other patrons were intolerant or otherwise rude. If they are capable of writing that note in that tone, I'd assume they're not exactly polite to waitstaff, either. Very tasteless.

Or that the woman was a special friend of a worker?

Sure, anything's possible. The baby could barely have made any noise and the women writing the notes were just having a bad/catty day; the mom may have made the entire incident up; it's all speculation.

Why didn't the couple just ask to be moved to another table? When my husband and I have a dinner out without kids we specifically ask to move if we don't want to listen to other peoples children on our one night out. Usually we sit in the bar so we can relax and not have to worry about it.

When my children were small we took them to places like this eating establishment knowing it was a noisy place people could handle our kids. Ofcourse we took things to distract them but it didn't always work.

The other diners should've ordered a side serving of mashed sweet potatoes with brown sugar and whipped cream with a little baby-sized spoon and had it delivered to the table.

Whenever my babies (and I had a set of twins) went out in always made sure I had something they liked to plug their cute little pie holes with in case they got rowdy. They got so conditioned that around 10 or 11 months they would sit quietly scanning the environment for the goods to appear. They wouldn't start making a racket unless it got about halfway through the meal or gathering without some yummy thing coming their way.

If that didn't work I'd take them out, which the mom might want to start trying. The older baby gets, the more society will expect her to do something with him.

But yeah, all in all, seems like overreacting on both sides.

They were in 2 different facilities in another state. They wanted to see the baby before they died.

I flew with the baby alone because DH had already gone there and was cleaning his parents' home to sell it so we could pay for his parent's care. The house had been vacant for awhile and was dusty and DH is very allergic. He was in bad shape when he picked us up at the airport and brought us to a hotel room before going to the emergency room.

He had to go to the hospital again before we headed home after finishing with the house and putting it up for sale.

The point is that the baby was rather fretful from the strange new routine and the disruption of everything she was used to. We did eat in our hotel room when we could, but many times we had to take her to restaurants. We went to casual family spots and she was usually okay with crackers, toys, little games, and taking her out occasionally. But we were in Phoenix during August and the heat gave her a nasty rash, so we didn't dare go out in it too much.

No one gave us rude notes and we got through it, but it was a little tough at times.

In truth, not everyone in restaurants is near their home near any home where a baby can stay. We didn't have a sitter in that city and we had no choice but to eat out. I hope those diners were not as upset as the ones cited here, but if they were, I can't help them.

We've all been babies and babies aren't always quiet whatever their circumstances.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/08/2015 04:33PM by Cheryl.

+1

True, but in most places, you can order food packed up for take-out. You can be seated and suddenly have to request to-go boxes, or you can call the restaurant ahead of time and order take out, then send one parent to go pick it up.

That's what I do when I'm traveling with dogs.

except outdoors where it's 110 degrees.

I say this as the mother of a 9 month old and a former waitress.

I take my daughter out to eat all the time. She sits in the high chair, plays with her toys, nibbles off my plate...and never screams (lets out the occasional excited squawk, but that's it). I can tell when she's had enough, and we leave, or one of us walks around with her until everyone else has finished their meals. I treat the wait staff the way I wanted to be treated--and if they're polite, I leave big tips. I've always felt welcome back in every restaurant I've taken my daughter to. I want to set her up to succeed, and part of that is realizing when she's had enough. She's 9 months old--she can only take so much. I don't expect everyone to adore her, so we try to be as inconspicuous and polite as possible when we're in public. When I fly with her, I bring earplugs and candy for everyone on the plane. So far I haven't needed it, but I feel like its the polite thing to offer if the tears start flowing.


My TBM mother recently visited for my town's harvest festival and went to the trade show with me. After two hours, my daughter had enough and started crying, and I told my mom we were leaving. Her response was "oh, this isn't a meltdown just ignore it!" as my child is crying her little heart out. So I left my mom there and went home. She was just as selfish and inconsiderate of my needs when I was a child--and I remember this (she tries to tell me I had an "idyllic" childhood--and I remember otherwise). I think selfishness is a TBM parenting trait. After all, TBM adults feel forced to do things they don't want to (3 hours of church on Sunday, wearing garments, paying tithing) so forcing their children past their limits is nothing concerning to them.

Good point.

A month or so back a woman claimed that she had been quietly breastfeeding in a shop in the UK, when a security guard had snatched the child from her breast and began shouting at her very rudely and had thrown the mother and child out of the store.

It got a lot of negative PR for the store, until CCTV and witnesses were able to prove that the entire incident did not happen and that the woman made the whole story up.

She has admitted lying and is on remand and a custodial sentence is under consideration.

So, maybe the mother of "dinobrat" did make it up?

I have to agree about the noise, but then most all restaurants are too noisy for me. What I find most annoying is the canned, tinny music playing. Stop playing that awful music in malls, stores, restaurants!! I have tinnitus and loud, continuous noise makes it worse.

I would think that if you have any sort of issue with other diners, you would take it up with management. Management could either move you or compensate you in some form. The only issue I've had with kids in public establishments is when they run around unsupervised. I also seem to have a gift for sitting close to howling babies on flights. Nothing to be done about that.

What parents often forget is that it's their responsibility to be considerate of others. If your baby is annoying or bothering others, take the child out. Go out with the child. Sooth and comfort the child if possible. If they can settle down, they can go back in. Doesn't matter where it is.

I really do not like to be subjected to a child let out a blood curdling yell right beside me in a restaurant, or shopping in a store. It is not funny. It's NOT OK! Those yells are to get the parents attention in most cases anyhow.

Take the child out. Teach them proper behavior or get a sitter.