because it legitimizes the Morg as a power. I know I don't believe, removing my name from some list doesn't matter to me.

not to mention that it solves the 'We'll baptize'em when they did!' dilemma. No you won't!!

Just in case Pascal was right. Ignorant deity. Along with being too lazy to fill out their paper work. They are not my problem, apperently I'm theirs.

As long as Mormons don't pester you with calls and door-knocking, there's nothing wrong with that approach.

Exactly. I had no plans to resign until they started approaching my kids. I really don't think they realize how creepy that is. Strangers (as in my kids have no clue who you are!) addressing children by their names and telling them how much they "miss them" is NOT OKAY!

As Mormons we were all expected to follow the same expectations.

Now we get to determine if we'll officially resign or not. No one can tell us their way to recover is the only way or the best way to do it. What's best for one exmo might not be right for everyone.

You are thinking in reverse. Resigning from the church shows that their power is illegitimate. The Mormon belief is that you are not allowed to resign. They try not to let you. When you do, it really pisses them off because legally they are not in control.

^^^^^THIS^^^^^

I agree. Even if missionaries and others aren't pestering you, resigning can show annoying TBM family members that you're serious, it's not just "a phase", etc... Of course, I still haven't resigned yet. It's difficult as long as my TBM wife still thinks our "sealing" is something special. I'll send in my letter the day she wakes up. TSCC is enough of a nuisance in my life that I definitely think resignation would be worthwhile.

No, for me, being forced to "officially resign" legitimizes that they have power over me. They don't. I don't have to send in a piece of paper to not belong anymore...they can put my name on any list they want and it doesn't change my beliefs. What are they going to do...take away my super secret made up super power? Give me a stern talking to? Point being, they have no claim over me, so I refuse to jump through their hoops.

So... Let's stand back and study this: You're saying they have power over you, and that resignation legitimizes this power that they have over you. Then you say they DON'T have power over you. Yet it sounds perversely that they DO have some sort of vague power over you, legitimate or not. And yes, as a matter of fact, they will give you a stern talking to, and will hunt you down to take every opportunity to do so. Unless, of course, you resign.

How come it takes an ordinance, with divine instructions properly administered, to effect a change in personal status, but you can be stripped of your baptism, priesthood authority, and temple endowments by making a couple of computer keyboard key strokes?

And when a mistake is made, is ghawd bound by that mistake, or does the record in heaven 'self-correct'?

Did the heavenly computer *know* when naughty elders submitted wholly spurious baptismal records?

What if they're making it up as they go along?!

It's like getting divorced. No matter what you think about the other person, if the relationship is over you need to legitimize the ending of the relationship. To say you refuse to do that is to keep one foot in both worlds. When you resign, you revoke any authority you gave them previously to take any part in your life and your life's decisions. I advocate resignation. It's more honest.

Divorce is the nullifying of a legal document, recognized by the government, and governed by laws.

Being a member of the Mormon church is not that.

I agree with the OP. If you say you aren't a Mormon you aren't. It's like being on any other junk mail list. Good luck in getting your name off.

blueorchid Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Divorce is the nullifying of a legal document,
> recognized by the government, and governed by
> laws.
>
> Being a member of the Mormon church is not that.
>
> I agree with the OP. If you say you aren't a
> Mormon you aren't. It's like being on any other
> junk mail list. Good luck in getting your name
> off.

But that's what resignation is. You are telling the church you are no longer Mormon and want to be taken off their lists. As long as you remain on their lists they will keep thinking you want their crap and will keep sending you junk mail. If you tell them to take your name off the list, they will (in most cases) take your name off their mailing list so you can stop getting their junk.

People had to go to court in order to be able to legally resign. This is about the power the actual law has with its actual authority, & how this authority completely overpowers the fake so-called "authority" of the cult.

I didn't formally resign for the same reason as you. Why should I legitimize their make believe power by following their fucked up rules and resigning? No I'm out when I say I'm out. I told them I no longer believe and left. That was almost 15 years ago.
I haven't been bothered by them since. I live by my rules, not their's. They can shove it.

That's hardly very lady-like!!! Do you kiss your boyfriend with that mouth?

Ha ha. You have to love Saucie.

Well, okay, if you say so.

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That's hardly very lady-like!!! Do you kiss your
> boyfriend with that mouth?


yes often very often. He doesn't complain about it either!!! ;)

Resigning had nothing to do with their power over me-- it had to do with MY power over them. Resigning was my way of saying "fuck you!!" to the greedy cult.

My resignation was the day I finally stood erect, clear headed and said, "FUCK YOU MORMON CHURCH."

That's the Best, the absolute best Blue Orchid.

I appreciate that everyone has their own path out of the church and many do choose not to resign for similar reasons which you state.

I personally feel that it's a flawed argument, for several reasons:

- It's like telling an abused spouse that they shouldn't divorce their abuser because it "legitimizes their authority over them". No, it doesn't it sends a clear message that the relationship is over. To me, resigning is the same thing. I told the abuser that I no longer wanted anything to do with them. It empowers the abused with the ability to say "I'm done with you."

- I often (but not always) stops unwanted contact. Maybe that's not an issue for you and for me it wasn't for a long time, then suddenly after years of not hearing from anyone, we were suddenly assigned home teachers, visiting teachers and had several visits from the missionaries, from a ward that we had never attended nor knew anyone from, we did not transfer our records there and had no intention of doing so. It may not be a problem for you now, but it can happen at any time to anyone.

- As others have pointed out resigning is a legal procedure, not a religious one. There is no special prayer, no special ordinance that the church does when someone resigns. They simply sign the paper (this really makes you wonder about the importance of the showy baptisms and the temple! If it can all be undone with a signature, how "special" was it in the first place?)

- The legal procedure was fought for and won in court, not by the church, the church has to hate that they must provide a means of leaving the church that does not include excommunication. The rough outline that lead to the legal trial was that someone wanted to leave the church, the church said "Fine, we'll setup a court of love and excommunicate you" he said, no, that assumes I've don't something wrong and is slander (or something similar), so he sued them and won. To me, every resignation sends a message to the church that they they had to listen to a power greater than them, it's membership and the laws that protect them.

- For many people resigning provides an important opportunity to send a message to the church, listing their grievances with open abandon. It can provide closure. Sure the church is going to ignore it (in most cases) but can be very cathartic to write that letter and send it to them.

As I read responses to my original post, I think the biggest difference I notice is I don't have the deep seated anger that seems all too common in these responses. Honestly, I've moved past the anger. I'm meh about it. If my name is on their list, so what? Officially resigning, to me, is like making a dramatic exit from a store that you'll "never shop there again". Good for you I guess, but does the world really care? That same store will probably keep sending you their advertisements, just don't go back...you don't need to make it a spectacle.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/23/2015 11:59AM by serslyqustning1981.

A relevant question is why is it important to you to remain a member? It's not about considering resigning a waste of time. You could resign by email in less time than you have spent writing the few posts you have in this thread.

You obviously don't want to terminate your membership. Why is that important to you?

I can think of lots of legitimate reasons for not resigning: job, family pressure, children's friends might react badly, etc. None of these reasons seem to be the case here.

"Officially resigning, to me, is like making a dramatic exit from a store that you'll "never shop there again". Good for you I guess, but does the world really care?"

No, the world doesn't care where you shop......but the store does.

The world doesn't care what church you attend or don't attend....but LDS does.

Its better to tell the store, or the church, that they suck and that you won't be back.....rather than let them think they don't suck and that you just haven't been there for a while.

Its about putting a bully in their place, more than its about who has power.

But, to each their own....do what works for you.....I think what you're doing works for the church too.

I felt like you for decades, until they finally hunted me down and assigned a home teacher. Then I learnd they still do have the power to annoy me, so I had to write a letter.

Oh, they've assigned home teachers, missionaries, sister missionaries, hot sister missionaries, etc. It doesn't matter. They can knock all they want, I don't have to answer the door anymore than I don't have to resign.

Your name never leaves the system.

I don't intend to resign until my parents pass. I left the TSCC over 25 years ago, and am not a member, regardless of what their paperwork says.

They did track me down, and they do harass me. I would resign to make that stop, except that doing so would needlessly hurt my parents. Is it worth it? I think the entire thing is a sham and a con anyway.

So instead, when representatives come knocking, I hand out copies of the CES document.

And every time they come and bother me, I call my parents and let them know what their "church" is doing. My parents were shocked that the "no contact" demand has not been honored. It gives them an entirely new perspective on the cult like behaviors their church engages in. More than anything else, TSCC's own culty actions are opening my family members' eyes. I can deal with a little harassment if it helps my family wake up. (Not suggesting that is a good course of action for every situation, though. For now, it works for me.)

When my parents can no longer be hurt by my resignation, I'll go that route. But for now, that cult can not make me take an action (that shouldn't even be necessary) that would result in hurting my family. TSCC does not have that power. And I think that the very fact that TSCC has put me in the position of having to do something that would hurt my family in order to defend myself against their intrusions and unending harassment is a huge indicator that it is, in fact, a cult. A fact that sinks in a little bit more every time I have to call my parents to inform them that their "church" is at it again.

I agree with what Finally Free said. For me, it was about telling the church, officially, I'm done with all y'all. Sure, it probably only moved me from one list of records to another. But it was critical for me at that time in my life to get the piece of paper from Greg Dodge that said I was no longer a member.

It was easier than I expected, but I was young and didn't have any friends or family in that ward anyways. No one was going to miss me :) In some cases (e.g. fortheloveofhops) it makes more sense to wait it out, or forego it entirely. My siblings don't consider themselves Mormon anymore, but didn't officially resign.

As they say in the backpacking world: Hike your own hike.

Is resignation "power" the church has over you or was this process forced on the church by the state? I've heard that in the past the church wouldn't let members resign and that the only way you could have your name "removed" is by being excommunicated. I heard the church was sued for this and that they were forced to allow members quit (resign) without having to be x'd.

I don't think resignation is particularly necessary. It depends on one's situation, really. I haven't resigned because they aren't bothering me, and I don't want to cause a shitstorm in the family. I'm not hiding my disbelief from them, but I have a TBM wife who accepts our differences pretty well. No use rubbing it in her face.. They have no power over me because I give them none. Membership in a church is not a legal contract. It only really exists if I think it does, and I do not.

Actually, it is a legal contract. That is precisely why you can go to court to enforce your termination of that contract by resigning. You or your parents/guardian signed an application for baptism. That was was the contract. It is not a contract that means a whole hell of a lot, but it was a contract. The contract remains in force until you fire them, they fire you, or you die.

LDS Inc still thinks the contract is in force after you die, but the courts do not.

I can see both sides to resigning/not resigning.

(I accidentally resigned...but that's a whole other story!)

But once I started thinking about it.....

I didn't want them able to use my name. I didn't want them putting me in with their bull crap attendance numbers.

I wanted them to KNOW that I left them. I think if they still have your name on the records, they still have hope you will come back. They count you as a "believer" because you never said you didn't believe.

I saw the stop of the love-bombing as a nice little side benefit of telling them to FO.

I can see that resigning gives legitimacy to any authority they THOUGHT they had over you, and by not bothering to say "I'm leaving" can give a person the satisfaction of negating their so-called authority.

It depends on the person and how they view their membership, and how it affected a person psychologically. Some need the closure. Some need to put the so-called authority in their place. Some need to just shut the door and move on. It's all up to the individual. applesauce

When I first left, I wrote a letter - They ignored it.

They tracked me down (through my parents for over 10 years). Home teachers, missionaries, etc... kept showing up at random times. Everytime I told them to remove my name from the list.

I had to chase off a few of them with threat of legal action. Others I just got mean.

Finally 2 years ago I got a visit from the local bishop. He said it was required that I write another letter. I looked him and the bozo he brought with him and said "No I don't, if you still follow your own doctrine". 2 months later I got the lovely letter from Salt Lake. I promptly shredded it into the trash.

I 100% agree with the OP.

Resign for what?

they still have me on their membership rolls. heh heh !!