I'm a regular...a gazillion posts on the old and new board. Not "active" on the board in the past six or months or so. I've been busy rebuilding
Return and Report:
I live on the beach. In paradise.
No really. I do. With my 12-year-old son.
My folks live just down the beach in a beautiful, welcoming home 2 blocks from the ocean. I love them so much. I returned to my Catholic roots after I left the LDS church (convert of 17 years) and I re-baptized all of my kids Catholic (The religion of my youth). My ex was Mormon Royalty--ole Boyd never got to sit in the Big Boy Seat! ha!! ;o)
My adult children and toddler grandchildren live all around me and we have frequent visits and sleepovers. I love my life. I'm scared every day because I've always been married and all my needs have been met. But we make it. I have enough financial income to meet our needs. I have a beautiful life with best friends and neighbors and family.
I have a beautiful beachside apartment, my own car (paid off), and no more debt. Life is so good.
RfM kept me alive for many years as I tried to flee from an addict and abusive marriage. Ultimately, I lost my home, my car, my smart phone, my 401K, my retirement, all of my savings...EVERYTHING...to a narcissist who turned my world inside-out.
But I'm OK now. I just want you to know.
Today I'm good. I fled, with all of your good advice, and today...
Great! Gulf side or Atlantic side. My brother lives in Tampa. I go fishing with him out there about 3-4 times a year. Very laid back & very little mormon presence.
And so glad for the update, I'm happy that you were able to move on. And being out of debt is better than being rich. Will be thinking of you when the winds here get cold.
When you were in the middle of despair, it was too bad that you couldn't see into the future, and know that everything would eventually be all right.
What became of your adopted kids from Russia?
I, also, was once married to the spawn of Boyd K. Packer, and he beat me almost every day--beat me for no reason. He was the meanest, most obnoxious, most arrogant, boring, repulsive human being to ever live. Maybe it runs in that family.
Marina is doing great - stable job, beautiful little girl, good relationship with her long-term partner. She's currently in real estate school at the local college. I paid her tuition, and that was one of the proudest moments of my life. (All my ex does is take money from our adult children and never pays them back).
Sasha is in jail. Drugs and prostitution. Repeat offender. I've been with her through two births where the babies were whisked off to foster care almost immediately. Horribly tragic situation...but you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. (This is painful information to share but many long-term posters here "know" Sasha from reading about her explosive childhood with Reactive Attachment Disorder).
We've shared so many stories about our RAD daughters over the years. Mine, at the moment, is running her own business, with some help from her father. She seems to be staying out of destructive relationships, has cut WAY back on weed use (she is afraid clients will smell it on her) but seems to rely a lot on wine when the work day is over. But on balance, she seems to be doing better than she has in the last couple of decades.
Your beach paradise sounds like HEAVEN!!! I'm so jealous! A native Southern Californian - beach bunny until age 27, and land-locked since then! Can I bring my swim and snorkel gear to YOUR house?
I'm glad that things are going well for you, Shannon! It's lovely that your life has stabilized. It sounds like living near your parents is a good thing.
Sorry about your child who's in trouble with the law. It's so hard raising children even when the odds are in our favor.
Balancing that with growing up in a cult, and that influence has been part of my life process, in how I managed my children.
None of my children are Mormon today, thank God. But they still have their share of problems, and as adults I can no longer be there to fix things for them when they mess up. I miss when they were children, and I could tuck them in at night. They grow up so fast.
An RfM poster I once dearly loved walked me through the worst years of my marriage and the spectacular crash of my life. He once "screamed" at me: "I KEEP TELLING YOU TO STOP PLAYING IN THE TRAFFIC...AND YOU KEEP PLAYING IN THE TRAFFIC!!!!"
I want him to know I finally got out of the street.
So glad to read this, shannon. I rarely come to the forum anymore but I have great memories of your support for others, including me. Wonderful to hear that you're doing well and surrounded by your family!