Most of you are so much better with words then I am. What do you make of this article. Something just doesn't sit right with me. He's trying to reconcile not giving up on his religious, as in not resigning and trying to liken it to not getting rid of a passport to this country because even though lots of bad things have gone done through the years that's no reason to give up on the country. Wait, is this satire? It sounds like satire!

http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/3185872-155/op-ed-dont-quit-the-church-make

That's one man's opinion.

Now my own opinion, to which you're all entitled:

I walk my own path.

However, my best friend is my wife and I hope someday she'll walk this path with me. She's TBM and worries about me resigning. She also worries TSCC might excommunicate me. So, for me and only me, I have not and will not resign. Not yet, anyway. I am in communication with my Bishop, Stake President and a local Area Seventy. They might decide I'm a lost cause and "invite" me to their kangaroo court.

I'd actually enjoy attending! If they wish to risk their eternal salvation by giving me a chance to speak, that's their problem because speak I will! Oh, and I'll have handouts.

So, for my wife's peace of mind, as much as I can promote it, I will not resign. I'll force TSCC to excommunicate me and they can take the blame in my wife's eyes and risk their own disaffection at the same time.

Sacrificing for the one you love - seems right to me.

I am in the same boat. I hope my best friend and wife come with me someday.

Yeah, I tried that route. All I got was monthly visits and harassment. I never did anything bad enough to warrant excommunication. At that time I'd didn't hate the Church, I just wanted to be left alone.

I was never able to get rid of the monthly Mormon pests until I formally resigned. I have never been bothered since.

sounds like the "endure until the end" line of thinking.

Again, we see that there are many different ways Mormons live their religion and many different attitudes about leaving, how and why.

Indeed!

My own point of view is that if they dare to come visit and chat, I dare to speak. If they don't want to hear me, they shouldn't visit.

I don't fear them. They, on the other hand, have reason to fear me.

The author certainly articulated his position well, and I can see his point. If he is an activist for a position that most people would see as the moral high ground (rights for same-sex couples and their children in this case), then he should force the church to look him in the eye and tell him they are throwing him out for not being "good enough" to associate with them. That should make some of them squirm.

I doubt if I would ever be enough of an activist to ever show up on their radar to get exed, though I perhaps underestimate myself.

I just didn't want my name associated with them as a matter of personal honor, and I didn't want to be on a ward roster.

That said, I think there are perfectly valid reasons for not resigning, and the sltrib column and Bruce A Holt above gave a couple of excellent examples.

I stopped reading after he acted like ferguson was a black eye to america.

I do like the word he uses in the first sentence. "Obligation" is a much better noun than policy or doctrine.

"make them expel you"

I have the feeling this chap is about to get his wish.

I agreed with this author. I think his point was that if bishops have to really do the dirty work of excommunicating gay people, they might think twice about the new "policy". The reality of doing such a mean thing might be easier to talk about, but very difficult to actually carry out when you are asked to hurt real people. I have a hard time thinking that the current bishop of the ward I am in would be able to carry out these orders. He is a really nice, mellow guy and I can't see him being a bully.

If you have 20 people per Stake openly stating Monson is senile and a bigot and the 12 promote hate and bigotry - the Stake would have major problems with handling that many excommunications.

If it were more they would be in real trouble.

Pick 20 more to start quoting the 'essays' in meetings and talking about how the brethren have been lying about the plates, magic peepstones and translation and you could shut down a stake for all intents for months.

I appreciate your responses but what about comparing religion to your country. How could most of us resign our country of origin? It seems like with religion there is a definite choice. I just didn't like that comparison. Maybe I need to read a little closer. I may have missed something

I agree, I thought the analogy didn't work. I mean with the slavery example, sure the U.S. had slavery at one point, but it changed and acknowledges that slavery was wrong. A country is typically working to improve and leave terrible things behind.

LDS inc. is doubling down on the terrible. Never apologized for the past deeds, just says don't judge them for things of the past.

I like what Moose said about following one's own path. The article didn't sit well with me either.

As most of you know my story about being out 25 years and finally resigning last Spring, I won't repeat it. I will repeat that I felt weird for the fist couple of months afterward.

If anyone is experiencing cognitive dissonance about resigning, read what others have said in the various threads and then post. Advice here is free, and unlike TSCC, you have true free agency to do what works best in YOUR situation. The Boner.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2015 06:09PM by byuboner.

I am with you Bruce the Moose

I have a TBM wife that has asked me not to resign. She knows I do not believe. Although she does hope that I will return some day.

The church does not harrass me. We do not have assigned friends (home teachers) that come on a regular basis. When we moved into our current house, I did have ward missionaries come over once to talk with me. I think I scared them off. they never came back.

If the church started ramping up some efforts, I would consider resigning. And like you Bruce, I would love it if they tried to excommunicate me. That would be a fun evening. I think my wife would be so pissed at them that she may quit the church.

Every exmo has a different situation. What works for some will not work for others. I do what works for me.

The article writer is making one critical mistake.
It is possible to change things about the USA that one feels need changing because the USA is a democracy. One can vote and make changes.

He can NEVER change anything about the CULT because it is an AUTHORITARIAN REGIME! Not voting. They won't even release their financial info. To each his own.
Some people actually enjoy being miserable.

He clearly wants to keep fighting LDS, Inc. It's like a guy who looks forward to a spat with his ex-wife, instead of moving on with his life.

Who cares whether you quit or get fired? It's all a club and you are just playing their games.

The only reason to reason is to get them off your back and move on. It also gives you the peace of mind of knowing that you are no longer affiliated with their bigotry.

I can't imagine attending a church court. Why would you waste your time fighting with them?

The last thing I would want in my bio is that I fought to stay in the Mormon Cult.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2015 05:45PM by steve benson.

I would rather leave on my own terms and make a small statement in doing so. Being exed implies that you did something wrong. I didnt.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/19/2015 03:25AM by steve benson.

Some of these points have been made in some form or fashion, but here are my thoughts.

I think he starts right off the bat with a false analogy.
Citizenship in the United States allows me to vote, organize with others, and elect people who will change things. The LDS Church recognizes no such rights empowering individuals to change things, so trying to change from within means you either must be a supplicant or nuisance to the church leaders. At which point you are stuck in the purgatory of pleading to general authorities asking with your best "pretty please", or on the path to becoming a non-Mormon anyway through excommunication like Kate Kelly or John Dehlin. Why not just resign and get it over with?

Second, I wanted to excommunicate the LDS Church from my life. By resigning, I was taking charge of the situation. The LDS Church had made a living trying to control every aspect of my life. Resigning turns the table on that dynamic. Now they were not good enough for me--it wasn't that I wasn't good enough for them.

Third, for some of us resigning is about moving on to bigger and better things. Mormonism is an insignificant part of this world. Yes, I like to keep up with it because it's interesting, but it occupies a progressively diminishing portion of my daily thoughts.

In short, resigning takes less time than a disciplinary council, and we are in control of the outcome.

There are no real tangible benefits to church membership other than participating in their activities like temple attendance and missions. You pay and serve for little in return.

Your reward is the CK. If you believe that, then be a member. If you don't, then leave.