I just resigned the Church after being active in a YSA, in other words I grew a brain and thought for myself. But now what do I do? This change is exciting yet scary.. I don't know what's true anymore. Especially after being indoctrinated so heavily. I was looking for acceptance and found pushing into marriage among other things. I just don't know what steps to do next.

Enjoy life...

The important thing is to start somewhere, because even if that particular "somewhere" doesn't work out, you will then know a little more and will probably have at least three ideas of what you might like to explore next.

What YOUR first "somewhere" is depends a great deal on YOU...

What are you feeling in need of???

If you need a quick community of people you can talk to, there are exmo meetups in many different areas...and the Unitarian Universalist church gets uniformly good reviews from exmos who have tried their services and activities, at least for that first few weeks or months.

If you don't know what to do with all the time you suddenly have freed up, take what had previously been your tithing money and join a gym...or take up something (music, drama, a library reading group) that interests you...

...or volunteer at your local animal rescue or homeless shelter (especially if that shelter serves homeless people, and/or LGBT youth).

For the first few months, just try a bunch of things that you think you MIGHT enjoy (or have always been interested in). If you find they're not for you, change to Plan B...C...D...E...F...G...

By the time you get to Plan Z, I guarantee that you will have had a great many adventures...you will have learned a HUGE amount about yourself and what YOU really want in your life...and somewhere along the way, you will have connected with at least a person or two that has the potential become a genuine non-Mormon (or exmo) friend.

You are now entering what is very likely to be the BEST period of your life...or the foundation for the best period, anyway.

Have fun...follow your heart and your inner soul...and make this life you're living now the life of the dreams you may never have known you had---until now.

I wish you all the best!!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/23/2015 02:29AM by Tevai.

Thanks! I love your ideas especially the volunteer one. It gave me an idea, I want to volunteer with LGBTQ teens because I am bisexual myself so I understand. Also where do you find these meetup groups for exmormons?

rebelwildfire Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thanks! I love your ideas especially the volunteer
> one. It gave me an idea, I want to volunteer with
> LGBTQ teens because I am bisexual myself so I
> understand. Also where do you find these meetup
> groups for exmormons?

Just google ex-mormon meet up groups

There's no one right way to recover.

Time. Give it time. You are going to do great you lucky b-tard figuring this out so young!

Below are the timelines and schedules you 'must' meet that are expected by others such as missions and marriage and whatnot.

I'm in a similar position myself. I was a completely active, believing member in my family and then YSA ward. I stopped believing after a few years in YSA, and my church attendance dropped significantly. I finally resigned this year.

It's hard. I like to look at other people and see the diversity in our world. It reminds me that there are so many ways to be happy and that the church teaches an arbitrary idea as the only way.

I'm still figuring it out myself. Good luck to you :)

Your religion has indoctrinated you that you MUST have an answer to all of your spiritual questions. But it's really okay to become comfortable with ambiguity, to say to yourself that you don't know and aren't likely to know anytime soon. If you practice the golden rule (treat others as you would have them treat you,) you will maintain your own moral self-esteem as well as stay in the esteem of most of civilized society.

Your meter has been rewound to zero. You have a blank slate. You only get that a few times in life and it is a great gift--so enjoy. It is what a baptism really should be.

Not knowing what is true anymore means you get to critically examine each new thing that comes into your life and build the best you can with your own reason, intellect, and heart.

You are on an exploration now so you aren't supposed to know what's next. Just keep your eyes and ears open.

That was the topic of my talk at the 2001 exmormon conference that was mentioned in another thread: http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1723454

There is a link there to a video (1 hr) and the text.

Short answer: Now you need to find your inner self and take complete control of your life.

Hope it helps.

Follow your heart and remember that there are a lot of good things out there, that you have been conditioned to believe are evil, but you may find are so enjoyable. For instance, you can't beat a Sunday morning with a good cup of coffee and classical music or a fine dinner paired with an excellent wine.

+1 Let's list all of the fun things that you can do now.

Alcohol- So many different profiles. Remember one drink a day is good for your heart. That is 365 different drinks a year.

Coffee - So many different flavors and blends to have. Try something new, until you have your favorites. I personally like the Bedouin ( with cardamon), Italian espresso with a water chaser, and polish (grounds in) coffee.

Tea - White, green, black, earl grey, the list is really long.

Sunday morning or afternoon sex! It's a favorite past-time of mine. Much better than 3 hours of church.

liqueur filled chocolate - They are really good. I've had them at work before as a gift from a boss :-).

Going commando - FREEDOM!!! Don't recommend this when it's cold outside.

Skinny dipping

A wide variety of clothing in many colors and styles. I burned all of my white shirts when I left.

Movies, books, & other entertainment - So much you can watch that is rated "R" or higher. Time to get caught up.

Hairstyles - Pink, purple, orange, etc.. anything is open.

Body art - If this is your thing, you can go and do it.

Don't over analyse it.

The church is a fraud and now you know it that is all that has changed. The Sun still comes up,the sun still goes down, the tide still comes in, the tide goes out.

Why, anything you want to do. Instead of what the church tells you to do.

I would advise thinking about what you want to do, and avoiding things that cause harm to others. Otherwise, it's entirely up to you.

Yes, I know -- that's both wonderful and scary at the same time. Isn't it great? :)