Posted by:
Breeze
(
)
Date: November 25, 2015 08:40PM
I feel sorry for you. You are not alone in this! Holidays are supposed to be celebratory, and filled with love, but some people use this special time to exercise control, and to sell-sell-sell. I had a relative who always tried to sell us his products, until he turned it around, and started giving out free samples--much more effective. It would be effective for Mormons to give out more samples of LOVE.
What I'm saying, is I agree with Schlock. A proper host/hostess needs to know how to put the guests at ease, and be sure everyone has a good time. It's just as important as the cooking.
Here are some tips that worked for me. Some members of my family were verbally abusive, and blamed me for my two divorces, and at the same time nagged me to date and get remarried. There's always something for families to criticize you about. Take care, because if you don't show up, they will talk about you behind your back.
First of all, how many people are you? Just you and your spouse, or do you have children included? Your decision to let the rest of your family attend without you, is a good one. One person doesn't make a huge difference. Will you feel bad being left home alone? (I would take a long bath, turn up the music, and run around the house, singing and dancing, in my pajamas, and eat ice cream--but I'm not the lonely type.)
Tell them you ate Costco chicken salad. No one else in your family did, so they are fine.
You can talk yourself through the ordeal. Remind yourself that Mormons are like children, only more stupid than children. They spew words that aren't theirs, ideas that aren't theirs. That's why it seems that Mormons are all alike. It's nothing personal, because they really aren't talking to you, as an individual. They don't really know you.
Remind yourself that Mormonism is very tiny--less than .02% of the population. Mormons make it out to be so very important, but the cult is NOTHING. Don't give it any power over you. Don't let it ruin your holidays!
1. Have fun with the kids. If you have children, sit with them, in order to "supervise." Kids love to talk about their school, tell jokes, play games, and be happy and relaxed.
2. "Let's not talk about religion or work or politics--this is a party!" This is my favorite line. In my own house, I say, "No religion or politics." Everyone has heard me say this many times. Say it with a smile.
3. Listen. Don't reveal much information about yourself or your family, because nasty relatives will use it against you. (I had the nastiest TBM relatives you can imagine.) Let them blab and brag, which is what they like to do. Be happy for them, if things are going well. They have to endure being in that cult every day. Maybe develop a little compassion.
4. If things get uncomfortable for you, just say "Excuse me." That's my second favorite line. You don't have to explain. Get away, and go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, make a call on your cell phone. One relative actually keeps his ear phone in his ear the entire time, and no one tells him that's rude.
You could leave early, to go to another Thanksgiving celebration with your own side of the family, with friends, or with a charity group. I volunteer with single friends at a local senior care facility. Also, on Christmas Eve, my children and I leave early to attend a Christian Christmas Eve candlelight service.
Next time, make your own plans ahead of time, and let your family know, up front, that you and your husband have your own traditions. One relative always told my in-laws, "We always go to a movie on Thanksgiving." Period. End of conversation.
Whether you decide to go or stay, it is important that you have a good time on Thanksgiving and the other holidays. I cook a turkey for my own family on another day, and have the leftovers. We have a family "night-before-Christmas-eve" party, that is private. That way, we don't mind sharing Christmas Eve with our extended family.