Posted by:
Breeze
(
)
Date: November 30, 2015 06:49PM
I agree with the posters who say that one can not find personal fulfillment within the Mormon church. It was actually impossible for me, as a female, as a single divorced working mother.
Elija, you, yourself, gave the best piece of advice: "...When it comes to finding personal fulfillment, I don't want to put all my eggs in the relationship basket.
I 100% agree with you!
If you're looking for "personal fulfillment", you must pull back from trying to please others all the time. This sounds trite, but you need alone time to figure out who you are. I was sick and tired of Mormons telling me what I should like (cleaning the church together was supposed to be a joy) and what I should not like (everyone who plays hooky from church obligations is sorry and guild-ridden). I should love JS and the BOM, and I just didn't. I could never relate to 12 old-geezer men who wouldn't give women the rights to the priesthood and who believed in polygamy in the hereafter.
What I'm saying is--what part of Mormonism was ever just for you, as an individual? Look back on your most pleasant memories--those times of laughter, the breakthrough moments of enlightenment, the times you felt the very closest to your children. Did any of those golden moments happen at church? If you had every Sunday free, what would you do?
When you take time to look inside yourself, you will realize that you have been the same person all along--only growing and learning. Now you have grown out of the cult.
Cult members want us to believe that pleasure = evil. Seeking happiness = self indulgent evil. They teach that you can't attain "true happiness", without suffering. (The cult will tell you exactly what "true happiness" is--and its one size fits all.) They want you to believe that your family can't be together, without sacrificing your time and resources, and spending too much time apart. These are the types of lies that derail you, until you don't know who you are or where you are going or even what you want. At least you are no longer a prisoner of these lies. Congratulations!
1. Don't think of leaving the cult as a gain, and not a loss. You have gained freedom, Love, Truth, the respect of your children (children sense it is all BS), peace of mind, integrity, a but more money, free Sundays, a more optimistic life view, and (if you are seeking it) a closer relationship to a more loving God.
2. Live in the moment. You are concerned about goal-setting, which is good for business and supporting your family, but for personal happiness and fulfillment, enjoy the now, more. You don't know what your wife will do, but enjoy her while she is still your loving companion. Enjoy the stages of development your children are going through--and don't anticipate missions or marriages or shunning just yet.
Follow your own heart, and if you like to set goals, set them short-term. Maybe those awful things won't happen to you, down the road. Much of it is Mormon threats and bullying. You will find great fulfillment in not letting the cult ruin your life.