Jesus visited The New World after being executed in the Old one.

A boy in the early part of The 19th Century saw God and Jesus as two separate beings.

An ancient record made of gold was angelically guided to be found by that boy when he became a man, translated by him, and taken into Heaven after sitting in New York State for many hundreds of years.

Mormons can marry each other and have that marriage binding for forever, seemingly without end.

Mormons possibly become gods like their god in the forgoing forever time period.

God made humans and animals as shown in the temple movie. Mormons pretending to be either Adam or Eve for themselves or the names of dead people during their participation in activities during this movie gain some kind of spiritual enlightenment.

The forgoing were less than useless truths in that they are useful falsehoods to a certain big corporation headquartered in Utah.

Now for some real useless truths.

And BTW. I find these useless truths more useful than falsehoods LDS Inc. is selling.

https://dinendran.wordpress.com/relax-motivate-urselves/some-useless-truths/

This one made me laugh out loud (really, actually, LOL):

"Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different!"

I was thinking "Hey they could tongue prints for security at some top secret facility! Oh, but people might not like licking the security scanner, especially after their boss with the bad breath or strep throat just did."

Deep thoughts. Deep, useful thoughts.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/09/2015 02:23PM by imaworkinonit.

imaworkinonit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Deep thoughts. Deep, useful thoughts.

How about a scanner that is cylindrical, warm, slick, and easily penetrates an open mouth. It could exude a anti-bacterial yummy lubricant and it could spray a tasty Binaca spray when it is finished scanning.

Deep throats. Deep, useful throats.

Also, I saw on Facebook a meme that said the tongue is made of the same type of skin cells as a vagina.

And some Mormons don't understand why oral sex is so popular.

Mormons can marry each other and have that marriage binding for forever, seemingly without end.

Yup, eternal marriage, which has no beginning and no end, because it is eternal, and something that has a beginning or an end is not eternal, started on a Saturday morning at 10:00.

But they knew each other from before the foundation of the world and found each other here? Wait. Kimball says no.

"Soulmates" are fiction and an illusion;"
Spencer W. Kimball
http://scottwoodward.org/dating_THEONE.html

The first one made me laugh out loud.

We still call it a "line-up" around here. Francophobia runs deep in these parts.

Sadly, the "French kiss/English kiss" one is not true. To give someone a French kiss is "rouler une pelle" in French (literally, "roll a spade" - no idea why).

But "éducation anglaise" (English educaiton) is a euphemism for sadomasochism...

What! Some useless truths aren't true!!!

*Head implodes.

I am curious what their definition of jump is. Are they suggesting that sea mammals can jump? A beached whale doesn't seem to be able to "jump" back into the ocean. Just a small observation.