According to this blog posting, on January 20,thr church will be announcing the arming of the 80,000+ missionaries with that final bit of wisdom that will *fix* everything, including our apostate asses.

Go see for yourself. They finally got the job done!

http://www.nearingkolob.com/new-missionary-work-theme-repent/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+NearingKolob+%28Nearing+Kolob%29

ETA: If you read the blog, take note of what they are finally admitting!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2016 11:39PM by elderolddog.

http://www.nearingkolob.com/mormon-missionary-reports-church-inactivity/

Go Germany!

It essentially says that people have to pay to be baptized.

It's also saying, admitting, that of all the 'converts' they claim every year, most don't stick around.

But now, all that changes, assuming the elders will stop touching themselves, dammit!!

This sounds EXACTLY like the type of crap all corporations do when they get scared. They even spin it the same way. Reminds me of The Brand New Program around 1982, which was shortly replaced by The Brand Seriously New Program, which was apparently even more inspired.

Never mind that it doesn't really make sense. "Baptize converts"? Who else would you baptize? And what else do you teach besides repentance?

Reading all those emails from the missionaries gave me such bad flashbacks to my mission. It is all seriously run so much like a corporation. Especially with my mission president, we had to do monthly powerpoints giving accountability for our key indicators, and projecting where we would improve. Nothing about individuals or Christ or anything. Just numbers.
It also reminded me of how much of a hive mind there is in missions. The Mission President gets trained on something, and passes that to the Zone Leaders, and they pass it to the District Leaders, who then pass it to the peasants. And all along the way if anyone has negative feedback, he or she has the wrath of the rest of the hive to pay for not trusting in the Leaders, and not having faith. Toxic.

That's what I was thinking. Well what have they been DOING with the people they convert? Maybe THAT's why it hasn't been doing as well as they hoped. There have ACTUALLY been hordes of people CONVERTED, it's just that nobody invited them to get baptized. Silly them!

"I had Mosiah 26:30 for my ponderize scripture this week."

The work is indeed moving forward.

I repenteth NOT!!

RB

“'Too often RCs fall away quickly from activity in the Church because they don’t know how to repent. They experienced a remission of their sins as part of their baptism but when they return to sin, something we all do, they may not understand how to repent and then deem themselves unworthy to be in, or even come to the Church.'”

I (dis)respectfully disagree! The reasons "RC's" (recent converts, lol) fall away is that:

1. Mormon church meetings are exceedingly boring

2. Demands of being a Mormon church member are overwhelming

3. Before baptism, "converts" are never taught what Mormonism really is; once those who haven't been repulsed by 1. and 2. find out more about what they've gotten into, most of them bolt for the doors, too.

If Mormons REALLY want to retain more converts, they'll follow the example of other proselytizing churches by requiring initiates to really learn and experience the religion before becoming official members. For example, Jehovah's Witnesses must attend study sessions each week over a period of time and then actually do door-to-door proselytizing before they can be baptized. I'm not sure if the requirements have changed, but when I was a Mormon missionary, all that was required for baptism was listening to the six discussions (which could be given in just a few days), church attendance on ONE Sunday and a rubber-stamp interview.

Of course, the Mormon church will NEVER significantly increase standards for new members, because they know very well that doing so would drastically reduce the ranks of annual "converts" they get to report in April General Conference ... and the Mormon church is ALL about numbers.


(The preceding message should not be considered an endorsement of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania, or any other religious organization, living or dead.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2016 01:39AM by lurking in.

When it doesn't work, who gets the blame? Who will be asked to fall on their swords?

"Sh*t rolls downhill."

The missionaries will be blamed as lazy, unrighteous, rule-breaking masturbators.

"converts stop attending church because they sin and remain in sin."

I will always resent this! Friends do not call you a sinner. This is why I'm not friends with Mormons.

Back to Square One, with the Mormons still saying non-Mormons are following Satan. But, too many people are realizing that ex-Mormons can be perfectly lovely, honest, hard-working, citizens of the community. We can bring love and acceptance and reason into the world. We can live our lives, leaving the Mormons alone, and moving forward to helping those in real need.

Blame us, blame the missionaries, blame the internet, blame everything except the cult-of-lies-and-hate and the slime-bag Joseph Smith.

I thought the change in how they do transfers is interesting. According to the blog they are going to stop having "transfer meetings" and will now just get the call informing them of their transfer and then head out.

Back in the 90's that was how my US mission did transfers. We would usually ask a member from the ward to give us a ride. I had always wondered about "transfer meetings" when they were referenced in blogs.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2016 08:45AM by zero.

That's how I remember it. Get a member to give us a ride to the centrally located stake center for the area and the Mission Van would be there to take us to the other Stake center and off we would be to the next area

So much for focussing on service. At least that gave these poor kids a chance to accomplish something.

I just can't imagine why so many RCs start "sinning" i.e., smoking or drinking coffee, a couple of weeks after they get baptized.

Then they don't feel "worthy" to go to church. No, they don't feel welcome. They go to church and someone smells cigarette smoke and says something nasty to them. Or they have stupid talks about the "sin" of drinking a caffeinated (or even de-caffeinated) healthy beverage while they know all their fellow congregants guzzle completely unhealthy Coke. And they're told THEY are the ones who are sinning.

They are called to babysit a gaggle of mormon kids for 2 hours every Sunday, they get a phone call telling them which Saturday morning they are scheduled to clean toilets, and they are thrown into Temple Prep class where they learn that all these wonderful "blessings" the mishies told them about come with a hefty price.

But "Here we come to save the day.." and the missionaries are knocking on their door calling them to repentance. Yeah, THAT'S the answer. They're going to have to build new meeting houses by the hundreds to accommodate all the recent converts they're going to have coming back. In their dreams, anyway.

I couldn't get past the guy in the graphic art that looks to be taking a dump. Which is exactly what this article is.

Desperation.

....my thoughts exactly.

He looks a little bound up, though.

Wow! SUPER BIG CHANGES! It's all just SO EXCITING and may I add, AMAZING!

“some super big changes, worldwide; for one, there is a new them for missionary work, direct from the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: what they want us to focus on is to ‘Teach Repentance and Baptize Converts.’ Five simple words, specifically chosen and ordered.”

Very specifically ordered. Like it couldn't be "Repentance Baptize Converts Teach" or anything. It's VERY VERY SPecific and DIRECT from the 12 Apostles. Woweeee!

My thoughts exactly! It's genius, when you think about it. So inspired!

Perhaps, and the convert is coming up from the waters of baptism, they could also be issued their own toilet brush. With a properly ordered wording, of course!

You forgot "awesome." I swear it's every other word in my nephew's weekly emails.

And "Fun!" fun fun fun!

That is so fun!

She is so fun!

Oh! that's fun!

But always used out of context. Drives me nuts.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2016 08:08PM by AmIDarkNow?.

Repentance is not an option. It's a commandment.

Who's idea , in the pre-existence , was it to force ?!?!

18 year old missionaries calling people with years of life's experience to repentance
and
Paying 10% of income in this economy where many are struggling
and
Scrubbing toilets

That does sound like it will work.

So it's official, the mormon church is now swirling the drain.

Wave Buh Bye.

Oh so breathless! So exciting! Change is in the air!!!!!!!


"Five simple words, specifically chosen and ordered.”


Repent, you worthless sacks of excrement! Get right with the Lord and get your butts in the pews!!


Very, very exciting! And guaranteed to work because it came from the missionary department -- from Oaks himself!

From a missionary perspective I think the policy of lay janitors is backfiring on their missionary efforts aswell. I've been to mormonism chapels since the change and let me tell you how it always seem to be some disgusting smell in the air and dirt on the floor. Investigators that come to a smelly and poorly cleaned church and are not exactly set-up for "the holy ghost". Barbie Jesus cannot be pleased.

I'll repent from drinking coffee....as soon as I finish my Starbucks Komodo Dragon dark roast....and then until I will drink my Tim Horton's dark roast tomorrow.

I'll continue sinning. It seems to be working quite well for me.

Only mormons can come up with even more ways to run people off.
They have some of the dumbest ideas i've ever heard.

Going thru the House of Handshakes is a MAJOR Challenge for the church AND recent converts!

Did anyone catch the three sacrament meetings before baptism comment. Pretty funny if you ask me. Hastening the work. 300,000 concerts down to 50,000 in one year!