Hi guys!
Thank you so much for all the beautiful responses everyone has given me. I have a few more questions.

1) I met with LDS missionaries and they said they want to baptize me by the end of February? Im a little scared because it shows that they really won't give you a chance to get to know the church. Am I off by saying this?

2) Since the missionaries have come into my life I feel like Ive been crying more this week and I have been having sleepless nights thinking about meeting with them because I want them to like me and I am more nervous there than anything. I don't know if they like me or not. Ive meet with them 4 times and they give me a high like Im so important. They said they can't get enough of my sweet spirt. But is that what they say to everyone? So is conversion a procedure and then they stop being nice after you are baptized?

3) The one male missionary I met was kind of cold in his demeanor. Are all males (in their 20s) cold in the Mormon church? And why would they be cold and not warm? Is it because Im not fully Mormon yet? Or is it me?

4) I originally wanted to be Mormon because I want to belong to something special and be closer to God. And I also love the community feel. It seems like on the outside everything is perfect. Is there a community feel or is it fake?

Thanks guys for all the responses. I came from wanting to join to being more confused and perplexed then ever before. I don't know what to do.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/28/2016 02:31AM by anne97.

It's no surprise they asked you about baptism. I have a son on a mission right now and he has told us that the missionaries are told to get potential converts baptized right after the FIRST missionary discussion, if possible. A lot of his mission is trying to get back converts who figured out the truth about Mormonism and left a few months after baptism.

So, a suggestion for you. If Mormonism is true today, it will be true in six months, or a year or two. You don't have to commit right away to baptism. Tell the missionaries that you want more time to explore the church. Go to the church meetings, participate in the social events, learn everything you can from a variety of sources and then make your decision.

I was a convert at 18 because I wanted to have something to believe in. I understand your feelings, but wait a while and see what happens. Best wishes!

Oh, and one postscript-- yes, they'll tell you that you're special and make you feel good--temporarily. And, you're absolutely correct, once you join, the novelty of your specialness will quickly fade.

Thanks so much!. I think I just need time to process everything because its only been like a week and a half.

Why do you want them to like you?

Your observation of how fast they want to baptize you is not off. They want to claim you before you have a chance to see what a freak show it really is.

Yes, it's all fake.

The one who's being cold may be experiencing doubts himself, and not sure how to deal with it. Or he may be a jerk who thinks little of you.

If you want to belong to a church, I'd suggest you look at more traditional churches. They'll be less demanding of you in all respects: time, money and behavior.

You should run from these missionaries as fast as you can.

Thank you for posting to my first and second discussion board. I want them to like me because I guess I want everyone to like me. Im still at the age where I want people to like me and then if they don't I think whats wrong with me? Not them me. But thanks so much

I can relate to that. Who doesn't want to be liked? But these people want something from you. They'll say and do whatever it takes to get you baptized so they feel good about themselves and their mission. You are playing right into their hands if you're looking for their love and approval.

You are young. The world is bigger than those missionaries. The world is bigger than the community they're showing you. You can get closer to God in so many healthy ways, and you can find people who like you for who you are. Get out there and live and experience as much as you can.

1. No, you are correct. The goal is to get you baptized before you can find out the truth. This is really a form of high pressure sales.

2. Yes, conversion is a procedure. Missionaries are taught sales techniques to use on investigators. Once you convert, the
missionaries will leave you alone. The members may be nice until you are firmly embedded, then they will start treating you as just another cog in the machine.

3. All members are individuals. Some are warm, some are cold, some are just assholes.

4. Everyone likes a sense of belonging. The Mormon church is really not something special, however. Any other church can bring
you closer to God - probably closer than the Mormon church quite honestly. Part of the conversion game is making it seem perfect, but after you are in you will see that it was just a charade.

Thanks for the response. I appreciate it! And that is interesting how you said its a procedure.

They use your needs to be closer to God and your goals to please them and be part of a loving organization for their own agenda of racking up baptisms.

These young guys use charm and smiles to attract potential converts. It's a sales technique. Would you buy a car because you want to please the salesman? Sadly, many people do just that.

These missionaries feel special because everyone back home has given them this message. They use this feeling of entitlement to attract and manipulate whoever they think will fall under their spell. It's no big deal to make them like you. Their job is to like everyone they meet.

Tell them you need time to think about what they've said and that you're not interested in being baptized in the next few months if ever.

Trying to please them doesn't make you special. You're special for reasons that have nothing to do with them or their organization.

Hi Anne

I was a convert at age 18, in the UK.... this was the late 70's and information on the church was hard to come by - I basically had to trust whatever the nice, sweet smiling missionaries told me.

I was from a protestant (Anglican) Background and was looking for a spiritual connection and a community - and the mormon church offered both.

1) I was given a few weeks before being offered baptism - missionary techniques have changed a lot in the intervening years because it is now so easy for people to research the church on the internet - and the missionaries know that what people find, does not help the missionary effort

2) the missionaries want to love bomb you, and also make themselves and the church a major focus in your life. If you dont have much of a social life (like my own case) this can be exciting - but also a bit disorienting (suddenly everything is about church activities and church people).
flattery is easy and effective.... dont fall for it (also, within the church, calling a girl a 'sweet spirit' is a bit of an insult - it used as a sort of codeword for 'not physically attractive' as in 'she's not good looking but she has a sweet spirit')

3) as someone else pointed out, everyone is still an individual - warm, cold, indifferent - but he wasnt doing his missionary duty. He is supposed to be friendly with new converts.
if you become a member you will be initially love bombed, until4) they think you're hooked and then it wil be business as usual

4) yes, there is a community feel in the church - I think you will find that same sense of community in any similar grouping of people - Moonies, JW's, scientologists. the fact that the cult is not outwardly popular drives people inward.

I hope you dont join this community. I did and - I will be honest - one of the thing that made me join was the youth program and activities, where I had a ready made circle of 'friends'...... I stayed and got sucked into the machine. I stayed until I was in my mid 30's. As Popeye used to say, I am what I am - there is no point in regrets or wondering what might have been - but there are aspects of my life which were obviously worse than they otherwise would have been, due to the mormon church. Plus, in that time, I gave a lot of money to a rich corporation which could have been used to benefit real people in real need
(I now make regular, 'payroll giving' donations to charity... something I would never thought if doing - and would not have been able to afford - while I was a tithe paying member of the mormon church)

I hope you seek friendship in groups or community volunteer groups that do not require you to change what you eat, how you think etc. You need the freedom and time to think things out.

Google searched mormon manipulation and found these threads:

(More good advice to consider)

http://exmormon.org/d6/drupal/Mormon-Missionaries-teaching-to-manipulate

http://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon

Sorry second link is an error. Guess I didn't copy all of it.

The missionaries are essentially salespeople. They report their number of baptisms to higher-ups in the same way that professional salespeople report their sales figures. Once you are baptized, they move on to the next person.

Unfortunately, you are exactly the sort of person they look for. You want them to like you; you probably want to please them. They will roll all over you. They really don't care what YOU want. It's all about what THEY want -- for you to be baptized into their church. They are being nice and charming to you because that's what salespeople do. They want you to buy their product.

For heaven's sake, if you think a church community might be nice, go check out a respectable church that won't try to overly control you nor drain you of all your time and money. And next time the missionaries come, don't even open the door. Tell them through a closed and locked door that you are no longer interested and to never come again.

I agree with EssexExMo that "sweet spirt" can be Mormon code for "not so pretty" or "overweight." They may be mocking you behind your back, and you don't even know it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/28/2016 06:41AM by summer.

Hi Anne,

Bottom line, you're getting sucked into a cult, and if it were not a cult, if it was "free will," there would be no pressure.

There would be none of this:

"Oh, we like you so much, you're so so special, we see the good in you that everyone else ignores, blah, blah, blah. You just have to become one of us so we can all be special...forever."

They are TRAINED to say those things.

If you do join this cult, no matter what they say or do to you, remember that they only have the power over you that you give them. They use mind games and shunning to keep your money coming in.

Have they told you about the tithing yet? You have to give 10% of your income to be a "full" member. It is the most important requirement. Pay, pray and obey. Welcome to having the worst GROUP of new parents you never wanted.

Someone please tell her about her new underwear requirements. I have to go to work.

I forgot to tell you to ask them where they are from, and when they are going home.

Ask them how much time they will spend with you after you're baptized.

And, I hope you don't have it in your head that you're going to get to be a missionary with them - that will not happen.

When I was a missionary, the goal was to get people to commit people to baptism as soon as we possibly could, typically within 1-2 weeks.

We used high pressure sales techniques (that we had been taught and relentlessly practiced), combined with a lot of flattery and super friendliness to make this happen.

Speed of baptism was a major objective, if the potential convert took too long, typically they would start to see through the facade we were displaying, and walk away. As soon as anyone showed any interest the game was on, and we were very good at the game.

We didn't care that the person didn't know what they were getting into.
We didn't care that they didn't realise that as soon as they were baptised the missionaries would significantly reduce contact and leave them alone.

We were very good at saying the right things at the right time to these people, and sucking them into a stupid organisation.

Another red flag is that you admit you're emotionally distraught over the missionary visits and their expectations of you. You have cried more than usual. Why continue to invite this stress in your life?

I was raised in the church. As a young married mom, I was constantly feeling overwhelmed. Sure, young moms may be more emotional anyway. But every week at church I was reminded about how inadequate I was. I wasn't reading my scriptures enough, I wasn't praying enough. I wasn't enough and my family would suffer for it. I would beat myself up and have a meltdown every few weeks. It was a normal part of my existence.

Fast forward to a few months after I had chosen that the mormon church wasn't what I had been taught it was: I realized that I hadn't had a meltdown lately. In fact, my meltdowns have been dramatically reduced to 1, 2 a year now. I am able to enjoy being myself, with all my "imperfections."

The Mormon church wants you to be perfect. They will tear you apart every week telling you how imperfect you are. They will try to tell you that 100% obedience to the church's commandments will bring you happiness and lead you toward perfection. I did as well as anyone could have to meet the expectations. I was miserable and didn't even know it until I was away from the church for a little while.

Take a break from the missionaries. Don't go to the mormon church. Spend some quality time with old friends or close family. Realize that you are ok without the emotional turmoil the church will bring in your life.

Here's a side story. I had a non-lds roommate during college. I attended church activities on Sundays, so-called Family Home Evenings on Mondays, Institute (scripture study) on Thursdays, and various other activities on the weekends. (Yes, the church can keep you very, very busy with meetings and activities. After a while, you realize all the lessons are repetitive and you don't learn anything new). My roommate began tagging along for the social aspect.

After missionaries talked to our group about every member being a missionary, my roommate asked me why I had never asked her if she wanted to meet with the missionaries or why I had not given her a book of Mormon. I took that as an open invitation from her. So I gave her a book of Mormon. We set up the discussions with the missionaries.

My friends went through the lessons and read the scriptures. She felt like she should be baptized. She embraced the lifestyle. The other lds college students were extremely supportive. All of the returned missionary guys wanted to date her. She seemed like a perfect addition to the lds group we had. She loved feeling accepted (who wouldn't?).

I went home for the summer. I came to visit before school started back. My roommate had a chat with me to let me know she was finished with the lds church. I was devastated, but couldn't argue with her decision. She tried to describe her experience. She said she loved the people she had been around. However, she felt that since joining the church she had been numb. She said it was hard to explain, but it seemed like she was in a fog, numb to herself, her own thoughts and feelings. It had taken time for her to realize that she was missing herself.

She said as the fogginess wore off, she was able to recognize the issues she had with the church. She disagreed with the priesthood being a special power just for the men. She didn't agree with the stance the church has on the role of women. She had concerns that had been swept away and downplayed by the missionaries and members.

Now that I am away from the lds church, I appreciate my roommate for being able to recognize that she had lost herself while in the church. I am now trying to figure out who I am outside of the church's context. It's a great journey! I hope you can spare youself from time wasted in the church!

Anne, the church will still be there in a year, two years, five years. Ask yourself why the missionaries are so anxious to baptize you NOW. It's because they are salespeople, and they want to make a sale and please their own bosses. Also, they know that the longer you wait, the greater chance there is for you to discover that you don't need their product after all.

Why would a God, supposedly the all-powerful creator of everything, need to have his church use an aggressive hard-sell practice? It just doesn't make sense, and the confusion you feel is a manifestation of that. The church has already begun to mess with your mind, and the longer you continue, the bigger the mess will be.

The missionaries are nice. That's their job. The members are nice. Their job is to help the missionaries by being on their best behavior. Outward appearance and image are everything to Mormons.

It sounds like you have a hard time saying "no" to people. You must learn, not just to the church, but to others as well. Being able to say "no" is a good life skill. It will protect you from being used and taken advantage of. The church takes people who can't say "no," chews them up and spits them out. Please don't be that person.

You don't need to have everyone like you. When you buy a burger and fries, do you care if the person behind the counter likes you? If you go to Starbucks, do you care if the barista likes you? (And if you do go to Starbucks, you'll have to stop; the church won't allow you to do that.)

And why do you think Mormonism is special? It isn't. The only people who think Mormonism is important are Mormons. I live in Southern California, only about 6-7 hours' drive from Utah, and no one gives a crap about what the church thinks or says. The church likes to build a lot of ostentatious buildings in big cities to give the illusion that it's important, but as I said above, outward appearance is everything to Mormons.

All of us reading your story can see what's coming if you get baptized, and it isn't pretty. The love-bombing will end, you'll get more confused, maybe stop attending, and the phony interest will resume to get you to come back, with some guilt mixed in as well. They will blame you for not showing more faith, you'll feel worse about yourself, and on and on.

Then you'll show up here on RFM in a few months admitting that you made a terrible mistake and you should have listened to us, and asking us how to escape. We don't want you to have to experience all that.

Hi Anne, I am going to join in the chorus of voices saying don't join without researching both sides. I served as a missionary, was married in the temple and an active member for 25 years before I looked at the other side of Mormonism. When I learned about all the unsavory conduct of early Mormon leaders as well as finding much evidence that the church isn't true as they claim I made my exit.

Take time to study and learn both sides of the Mormon church. They won't tell you the unsavory history and most of them don't know it because the church tells it's members not to look at the "unapproved history".

Have you read Jeremy Runnells "letter to a CES director"? It is relatively short and covers many of the problems with the Mormon church. You might listen to his interview with John Dehlin.

Good luck with your journey whatever you do and just remember 'The TRUTH matters'

Don't join. Tell them whatever you have to tell them to get them to stop coming around.

I was a member for 23 years. Served in several leadership positions. I was married in the temple.

It's bad. This organization is NOT a good thing.

I have nothing to gain by telling you this.

But, the good part is, you don't have to take our word for it. Just research "Mormon" on the web (google). You'll see for yourself. Find out the truth. Be a REAL "investigator" - not just some label the missionaries slap on you that means nothing.

When you do, you'll discover that you won't want anything to do with this organization.

1. Don't do anything because you are being pressured.
2. Pause. Tell anyone who is pressuring you that you WILL NOT MAKE SUCH A MONUMENTAL DECISION UNTIL YOU HAVE THOROUGHLY INVESTIGATED THE CONSEQUENCES.
3. Wait at least 6 months to study the issue.

All damaging, lunatic-fringe groups and cults provide a sense of community.

Mormonism is no different.


Set your sights higher, gurl.

You are a mark to them. They are under extreme pressure to baptize as many people as possible during their missions. Increasingly, in western societies, where people have ready access to information and a lot of choices about life, that's gotten increasingly difficult for them. People just aren't as gullible and uninformed as they were 30 years ago.

They want you to get baptized ASAP so that they can put a notch in their belt and go on to the next mark. They know that if you have time to really research Mormonism and it's weird history and absurd doctrines by yourself, you are liable to not get baptized. It's easier for them if you don't know enough to ask hard questions and think things through.

If you want to convert to Judaism, it's a very difficult process. You will probably initially be dissuaded by the rabbi, but if he or she agrees to do it, you will be expected to study Jewish history, thought and practice for a long time before you can convert.

If you want to become Methodist, you will be expected to take a class, attend for some time and meet with the minister to discuss issues.

If you want to become Catholic, there is a detailed process involving taking RCIA classes for months.

In all these cases, you'll notice that it takes time and the clergy and congregations want you to know what you are getting into. They want you to explore whether or not this decision is right for you by having a great deal of information on which to base your decision. They want you to ask hard questions and get a full answer.

I'm an atheist and am not saying that these religions have any more validity than Mormonism, but they aren't nearly as cult-like. They want you to go in with your eyes open.

Contrast that to the Mormons trying to get you to commit after a discussion or two. Going to the Mormon temple is supposed to be a spiritual high point, but they will tell you nothing about what goes on there before you go. When you do, you will be expected to make lifetime covenants with no opportunity to evaluate what you are agreeing to do. Also, know that this is a religion that tried to whitewash, hide and back peddle on a lot it's history.

It's nice to be liked. But it's nicer not to be a sucker and fall for the sales pitch. Once you convert, they will fade out of your life. And if they only liked you in the first place because they thought you might be a convert, they really didn't like you afterall.

and I am sure the sister missionaries like you too.

They probably actually have genuine feelings for you and they want you to join their Church so you can be happy like them.

The problem is they have been raised in a cult, where they are taught what to feel and believe, and that it is there duty to get as many people to join as they can.

For most missionaries the duty becomes overwhelming and they try whatever tactic they can to achieve their goals for the numbers of people they must teach that are baptized. They have sales meeting just like corporations where they are given quotas, and you are a number in the church's books.

The male missionary may have been cold because he doesn't see you as a serious investigator, or maybe he is trying to deal with male/female attraction issues. He is not allowed to feel any attraction or else he is in danger of going to hell. Or he may just be a jerk. From my experience as a missionary, the ones put in charge very likely are jerks.

Find some good friends who won't make you join their 19th century sex cult, that demands 100% of your devotion, and 10% of your income so they can build shopping malls in Utah and realestate developments in Florida.

I was raised a mormon, and served a mission, and I can testify to you that it is a fraud and a cult. Don't join.

1) I met with LDS missionaries and they said they want to baptize me by the end of February? Im a little scared because it shows that they really won't give you a chance to get to know the church. Am I off by saying this?

Keep in mind these are 18 to 19 year old KIDS. I served a mission and yes, they put the pressure on for the baptism. I was naive when I was a missionary, but I never really bought into the whole thing. The elders have to report numbers. Such as how many discussions they taught, how many potential converts (you in this case) how many doors they knocked on, and how many baptisms were performed. I would certainly investigate the history of the church. If you are ok with the founder being a polygamist with 37 wives or that they tell say their way is the only back to god. Pretty arrogant to make that claim. While they will deny it, in the highest level of heaven, the men will have many wives to create their own planets and populate those planets with children. How are children created...sex of course. Sounds like Islam as far as that goes. If you bring it up you will find them stammering and tell you that you need to go off your feelings and pray about it. It is about how you feel. Look up the milk before meat talk by Boyd K Packer.


2) Since the missionaries have come into my life I feel like Ive been crying more this week and I have been having sleepless nights thinking about meeting with them because I want them to like me and I am more nervous there than anything. I don't know if they like me or not. Ive meet with them 4 times and they give me a high like Im so important. They said they can't get enough of my sweet spirt. But is that what they say to everyone? So is conversion a procedure and then they stop being nice after you are baptized?

They probably do like you as a person. I don't think they're malicious. Keep in mind they're kids still. They may not realize it, but they have been trained to make you feel that way. It wasn't my experience that they quit being nice to you as much as they will get transferred out of the area or go home. I stayed in touch with one of the people I helped convert for a few years. They eventually left the church and I lost contact. After you get baptized it's left up to the ward to make sure you stay a member. Even though I consider myself not a Mormon anymore, I am still a member because I don't care if I am on the records or not.

3) The one male missionary I met was kind of cold in his demeanor. Are all males (in their 20s) cold in the Mormon church? And why would they be cold and not warm? Is it because Im not fully Mormon yet? Or is it me?

Probably just his personality. Probably not comfortable with the whole thing. I wasn't. I didn't like the pressure we were told to put on people to get baptized. We had to do it on our second visit. If they said no we usually never saw them again or they would ignore us if we came back to the door.

4) I originally wanted to be Mormon because I want to belong to something special and be closer to God. And I also love the community feel. It seems like on the outside everything is perfect. Is there a community feel or is it fake?

I live here in the heart of Mormonism. And I am not talking about Salt Lake City. About 30 minutes South of SLC there is a group of cities and towns called Utah County. I would say at least 80 percent of the community is Mormon. It is very fake here. If you aren't Mormon you are ignored and their kids are told to stay away from you. Very cult like. You are shunned and they spread rumors about you. I only take my daughter to church once a month, maybe 2x just so she has friends to play with. I am considered inactive. They started love bombing my family with cookies and invites to ward parties. I should note I have never once been invited to ball games or to hang out with any other guys in the ward. So it's too late for them as they probably know I would tell them to f*** off due to them only showing interest since I am not longer a true believer. Now I can't speak for Mormons outside of the state of Utah. From what I have been told there are many of them that are quite nice and genuine.

Another thing to consider is that you will only be considered worthy to go to their castles (temples) if you give 10 percent of your income to them. Becoming temple worthy is pushed very hard and one of the pinnacles of being a member. The temple is a whole other thing to investigate. You can find plenty of info about it on the internet and I can verify they aren't lying about what happens in the temple. Just flat out weird. Don't jump head long into this.

Take your time and really investigate EVERYTHING. They will tell you to ignore the negative stuff you read on the internet. Don't ignore it. Ask them about it. Good luck to you.

I served a Mormon mission and you need to realize you are being conned.

These guys are probably sincere but they are young and clueless and being conned themselves.

The missionaries' one and only purpose is to baptize as many people as they can. You must realize this. They are under great pressure to produce "sales" for the church. These missionaries report their convert stats to their leaders on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis. They get very excited when someone actually shows interest. Once you are baptized their interest in you will quickly fade. In addition, the missionaries move out of their areas every few months so even if you get to know or like them you won't being seeing them for very long. Get it in your head that you are only a temporary project to these guys.

Please read the following:

http://home.teleport.com/~packham/tract.htm

http://cesletter.com/

I concur with the CES letter link there. That lays it all out perfectly. Don't tell them you are investigating all aspects, they'll try to talk you out of it. Hell if you show them the CES letter they might quit and go home.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/28/2016 03:17PM by shodanrob.

To be baptized a Mormon you have to tell the missionaries three important things. First, you have to believe Joseph Smith was a prophet. Second, you have to believe that the Book of Mormon is scripture (true) and came from God. Third, you have to believe that the Mormon church president is a prophet of God. They will ask other questions like agreeing to pay a 10% tithing. But the first three are the most important because once you agree to those ideas and are baptized they can pretty much manipulate you to do anything they say because they can always say, "You agreed with us that our prophet represents God on earth therefore you must do anything he tells us to tell you to do".

The only criteria for believing the three big questions are true is having "good feelings" because they will tell you that the Holy Spirit has given you a witness of the truth when in reality you are just feeling happy to have new friends and a new group of potential friends. It is a psychological manipulation that the Mormon church has learned to use very well. Everyone feels good when people like them and treat them well. That is the reason so many new converts leave soon after joining Mormonism. They stop feeling the Spirit because what they felt never was the Spirit. It was just good feelings. Those feelings will change fast when the Mormon church starts ordering you around and completely controlling your life. The missionaries who are so nice to you now will forget you as soon as they move to another city or go home from their missions. You are a job to them and they have been told exactly how to sell you their religion. Sorry, but that's the whole truth. If you want a church experience try a more reputable church that does not go after members so forcefully. You might try the Unitarian Universalists because they don't force any specific belief and they won't come after you if you want to leave. They are generally very friendly, not judgmental, and have lots of interesting events. The Mormon church will hound you constantly to return if you try to leave.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but you sound very gullible. Not only its sounds like you suffer from low self-esteem. You are perfect for cults like Mormonism to prey on.

You REALLY need to learn separate the desire for belonging and being liked from the intentions and reality of the Mormon missionary program. You appear to be "converting" because of your insecurities and craving for acceptance of the missionaries and NOT because the church or religion of Mormonism is true or worthy of your participation.

This is NOT a healthy dynamic. You like the missionaries NOT the church. If you get baptized, the missionaries will move on and you will be back to square one but you will be stuck in a church you will no longer like.

I was going to add, OF COURSE they are very friendly to you and making you feel special. They are trying to sell you something.

Just like any kind of sales person they buddy up to you and reel you in. After a while you start to feel guilty for rejecting what they are trying to sell to you. You feel like you are too deep in now and would hurt their feelings if you say no. Don't fall for it. Obviously they will feel disappointed if you say no but THEY WILL GET OVER IT. Trust me. I was a Mormon missionary. I forgot about our past investigators within a few weeks or even days. We moved on to fresh meat. There is more at stake for you than them.

They are coming to you not the other way around. You are under NO OBLIGATION to commit to ANYTHING for these guys, even visits. You are doing a favor for them by allowing them to see you, not the other way around.

You need to learn how to be a strong individual and not rely on your own happiness by trying to make others happy at your own expense. If they can't be happy with your OWN CHOICES then they are not worthy of your friendship. Find friends who like you UNCONDITIONALLY.

Of course they say things like that to everyone. They're salespeople. You're seeing sweet missionaries, but what they're actually an army of salespeople for an organization that wants 10% of your gross income for the rest of your life. They are actually trained in sales techniques.

I left the Church when I realized that for as long as I'd been there (30 years), I'd never really felt very good about myself. Their pressure to achieve perfection made me feel like I would never be good enough for them.

It's exhausting running on the Mormon hamster wheel. I left after I'd worked for the Church. One of their top people, called a General Authority, came to a work meeting. Morale had been very low because perfection was always expected of us, but we were not given the time, nor the materials in order to create that perfection. I was hoping that he would help us to feel better.

Instead, what we got was the guilt-trip of a lifetime. He told us that if we received a bad review, then we were responsible for bringing down the scores of the entire office. That, in turn, would bring down the scores of all the offices in the Region. In fact, we alone would be responsible for making our entire country look bad.

Our hearts sank. We felt worse than ever. That's when I left. My self-esteem began to heal immediately, because I felt that I'd taken back my own power. In fact, I have a self-esteem for the first time in my life.

The niceness and the happiness is an illusion. No one is harder on each other more than other Mormons. They put on their fake smiles and their fake perfection, in order to not look bad to any other Mormons around them. They will call each other out if they see a flaw.

One of my Mormon friends had a son who was addicted to pain pills after a back injury. They sent him for help. He's doing fine now. But one day, one of the women cornered her in the washroom and said, "I used to look up to you. I thought you were the perfect mother." No support. Just attack. She was devastated and yet, she dutifully continued on going to church, because it's God's church, dontcha know?

The friendliness and positivity is an illusion.

Answers

1) They need to baptise you by the end of February to meet a certain quota by that date. Ask THEM why there's a time limit on their "friendship."

2) You are crying because you know they are using false flattery to sell you something (pressure you), you are so desperately lonely that you want to believe it, even though in your heart you know it's scam job.

3) Not everything is about you, even though the snow job these girls are giving you has that misleading impression. He gave you a TRUE glimplse of what it feels like to be a Mormon. We can't know what part he was feeling crappy about, because so much about the cult feels crappy.

4) Mormons are not "special." That is one of the worst parts of the brainwashing. REALLY??? Do you REALLY buy their story that of all of the BILLIONS of people on the planet, only THEY "know the truth" about God, and of the THOUSANDS of years of Christianity, that God was waiting for Joseph Smith to come along, and before JS, God just let MILLIONS of people live and die in ignorance, and go to hell?

Wow. I really hope for you you have the strength to see just how arrogant and stupid a fairy tale that is, and act accordingly, by telling them to stay away from you.

Being "special" is one of a cult's methods:

http://www.prem-rawat-talk.org/forum/uploads/CultCharacteristics.htm#American%20Family%20Foundation

If you want, start a new thread and ask us about how Mormonism fits the critera listed.


http://people.howstuffworks.com/cult3.htm