I know some of you had a purely/mostly happy experience after you left, but that's not everyone's reality or set of circumstances.

For those who didn't, what ended up helping you? I have a dear friend who's finally leaving and I've exhausted my list of positive resources for her (I had a VERY hard time after I left).

She goes to therapy already. What books did you read, how did you transition, what were your daily happy-making habits, big game-changers, etc.?

You didn't say how old your friend is, if she is living alone, if she lives away from family, or if her family is all TBM. Some circumstances can make things harder--if her spouse is still stuck in the cult, or if she's single and wants to date, etc. etc. Does she work and have nice colleagues? Does she have pets? Children?

I found my most effective personal solution by accident. I was living alone, and had time to do this. I was a BIC Mormon for many years, and when I realized I had been brainwashed all my life, I decided to try to "un-brainwash my brain." I had read that the easiest way to forget information is to load the brain with new information, and that's what I did.

I read anything I could get my hands on, from science to biographies to novels and poetry. I took two philosophy classes at the university, nearby. The class had exams, so I was forced to remember names and dates other than Mormon historical names and dates. Instead of the BOM on my nightstand, I read myself to sleep with poetry. You can get good reading suggestions here on the board. If your friend doesn't like to read, there are documentaries on TV, some interesting science shows like NOVA and Cosmos. Contrary to Mormon morality--there are plenty of good movies in which crime does not pay and adultery leads to disaster for the one who cheats.

The great, accidental side-effect of learning, is that the new, truthful, more positive information was refreshing my mind, and giving me hope. I had something to take my mind off of the past cruelty and abuse of the Mormons to me and my children. The world began to open up. I was interested in new perspectives, new theories, and other cultures (including their cooking!). As my horizons expanded, the Mormon cult got smaller and smaller. I let my hair grow long, got rid of the Mormon underwear and jumpers and skirts, and bought new stylish clothes.

"Things get smaller when you see them in the rear view mirror." Time will heal your friend, eventually. Therapy will speed up that healing time. She, and you as her friend, are probably doing everything you can do. Recovery from Mormonism takes time and effort. The goal is to rise above the lies, the money-grabbing, the gossip, and the hatred. Your friend no longer supports that. She is a better person than the Mormons--though the Mormons will forever try to convince her that she is following Satan. She needs to rescue her self-esteem.

IMO, the more connection one has with Mormonism, the harder the recovery will be. Many of us have loved ones who are stuck in Mormonism because of TBM family, marriage to a TBM, fear of Mormon threats and disinheritance, and even for career reasons.

I was happy to leave, and so were my children! The worst punishment that the Mormons could throw at us (door-banging at night, threats, lying gossip, shunning, etc) was still better than the way they treated us when we were Mormons.

The worst problem after we left was the shunning. Ward neighbors with whom my children had grown up, whom I had served in music and teaching callings, whom I had brought dinners and befriended--suddenly didn't speak to me anymore. Most would not even make eye contact. (I had done nothing wrong, except quietly leave to go to a Christian church.)

The reading, learning, classes, TV, (and also my music and job) helped me deal with the Mormon shunning and the loneliness. I was very busy in my free time, and I chose to spend that time doing something positive. Mormonism is so negative and hopeless! When I did meet up with a Mormon who would speak to me, their gossip and racist comments really did offend me. So does their arrogance. Turns out--I'm shunning them, now.

Your friend has lost a cult, but gained a world of new choices, new experiences, and new people.

Be happy for her. She'll get it.

I wasn't depressed. I don't live in Utah either wich may make a

difference.

I came to RFM . It was a major help . Some days it was a party

here, other days it was really serious but all in all it helped

me to vent my feelings and my anger and it also helped to hear

other people's stories. At it's best, RFM is a support group.

Tell your friend to come here. She can relate to what is said

here, she can be healed here. It really works.

My depression never had anything to do with the cult.

RB

I joined the YMCA and played basketball, swam, and met new friends. I also got out of the house. Went to a bar and let the barkeep know I knew nothing about alcohol and had him introduce me to a drink every weekend. Afterwards I went to the movie theater next door. I hit the library and read tons of books. I read anything that caught my eye. I got a parakeet and some fish. I found out that I liked tea but didn't like coffee (changed after my son was born).

Slowly I opened up and joined in with the rest of the world. Falling in love with a nevermo not long after helped a hell of a lot as well.

I wasn't necessarily depressed post morg.

However, in the process of becoming more 'aware' that I am now doing through meditation. I have become concerned that people around me are 'so negative'.

I combat the 'negativity' of those around me by doing positive affirmations ----- either my own by myself or find ones on the net where you just put on the head phones and listen and/or repeat.

Depression and negativity are a big concern to me and should be to others ------ mind does impact your body!!

well this helped tremendously ...when I was depressed before I managed to quit MORmONISM, as well as after https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEaY-FRAdp8