My friend got back from her mission a couple weeks ago. She's doing great! It's been nice to see her again.

Since she's returned, I decided to do an experiment. She's been inviting me to church, so I was curious to see if I'd view it differently as an adult a few years later and with a little more real life experience.

There's a huge difference in how I see TSCC now compared to before. I understand now what everyone on here was talking about, how Mormons tend to have a childish mentality. It's pretty weird and makes me uncomfortable. This mindset is prominent in YSA.
The members live, eat and breathe church. Every waking moment, every conversation, every thought is about church topics. I knew this before, but today it hit me like a ton of bricks just how cultish the practices are. It was too overwhelming. Other churches have boundaries and respect personal space. With Mormons, there is no time for personal time, because all personal time is spent reading scriptures, Ensign, etc. Everything is BoM 24/7. That would drive me crazy and I'd probably have a mental breakdown.

I see TSCC differently now, especially after being exposed to the wealth of valuable knowledge here on RfM. I always had underlying doubts about BoM doctrine, hence never joining. What I have learned makes me look at church from a skeptical, realistic point of view with no more of my teenager idealism in the mix. I can see the church for what it actually is, not for what it's pretending to be. I see it sucking excessive amounts of time, money, sweat and energy from its devoted members.

Going back helped me remember what worked for me at the time, why I ultimately chose to leave, and why I still don't want a baptism. This time around, I can pinpoint why certain aspects of the church are unsettling to me in a big picture kind of way. I'm unsettled beyond a personal level this time.

None of what I'm sharing is new to any of you on here. I just wanted to share because the contrast between how I viewed TSCC before and how I view it now is highly pronounced. It is an organization with a clear agenda. It relies on the deepest indoctrination of its members in order to thrive.

has cleared so much.

The homecoming I will never forget was my son's best friend's. The boy was sent to Russia, or Ukraine, or one of those ex-Soviet places. In his mission, they didn't teach. They helped members survive. He was responsible for learning how to measure blood sugar and give an old diabetic man his insulin shots every day. He had to chop firewood for an old lady who had no other source of heat.

The mishies' own diet was nothing to brag about. This kid had been a slender runner before he left. He looked practically skeletal when he got home.

The ward had a big picnic to welcome him home (he was the bishop's son, and we were close to the bishop's family. Our kids all grew up together.) The boy acted REALLY strange. He had been happy and outgoing before; after his mission, he couldn't look anyone straight in the eye and it seemed very difficult for him to speak in a conversation.

He went to BYU for a few years, and then decided to go someplace way back East to school. He went on to become a doctor and didn't marry until well after 30. We never got a notice of temple marriage, and the reception picture they sent out showed him looking happy and healthy, with a nice growth of beard. So perhaps he has left the church. I hope so.

He was always a nice kid. I hope the mission scars have faded now.