Posted by:
Baldy
(
)
Date: February 17, 2016 10:25AM
I've been married to my TBM DW for three years now, and there are times I feel more ex-mo than nevermo; thus my presence here.
As some of you have noted in other threads, I set a problematic precedent by accompanying my DW to sacrament meetings and church events. I even sat through almost two years of investigator classes with my tongue firmly clenched in my teeth so as not to embarrass DW with the guffaws and gibes struggling to escape from my mouth. Our attendence at church was mercifully spotty because of DW's work schedule.
Last fall we ended up in a new ward because of redrawn boundaries, and DW was soon to start a new job that left her weekends free, so this was an opportunity for DW to dive back into the whole thing with renewed vigor.
First up, she was given a new calling as a primary teacher. I don't remember exactly how it was presented me, but I got the distinct impression from two different people, in addition to DW, that it was couple calling and that DW wouldn't be able to handle the class without my support. I could tell that DW really wanted to do this, so I asked what was expected of me. DW said that all I had to do was keep the kids corralled while she taught. OK, it's not like I had anything important to, though I would been happier reading a book in the foyer until she was ready to leave. The bishop wanted to set me apart, but I declined saying that I was only there to support DW in her calling.
It didn't take long before our roles were reversed, with me leading the class and DW corralling the kids. I balked, telling DW that I was really uncomfortable teaching these kids things that I knew wasn't true. So, she's back to leading the class, but she told me I didn't have to agree to help. Huh? What about the full-court press from the primary pres and the bishop? That's when she said they try to get couples when they can, but that husbands are usually busy with their own callings and priesthood meetings. WTF?
A month ago, DW was asked to prepare food for this weekend's YM retreat at a camp an hour and a half away from us. DW had eagerly accepted because she enjoys this kind of stuff. Once again, the implication by the person asking her was that this required a couple. DW asked if I wanted to do it, and I said no. DW seemed cool with it and said she could get help from a couple of the adults who would already be there anyway. With things coming down to the wire, and plans shifting at the last minute, DW did not coordinate with the help she thought she was going to have, and asked me last night to give up my otherwise free Friday evening and Saturday to help her with HER calling (or whatever this is). I mumbled a non-commital response, which she may or may not have heard from the other room, but I suspect I have been roped into yet another commitment from I church I don't even belong to.
I realize it's of my own doing and foolishly thought I could stay apart from the madness while in its midst, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept. I just want to flat-out refuse, but I'm afraid it's going to lead to another fight when we had just resolved the last fight about the church. Maybe I'm finally being punished for leaving the Catholics so long ago.