I just found this site and wish I had a long time ago. About 10 years ago some missionaries knocked on our door while I was away on business. My wife let them in, now I'm getting divorced. I believe the mormon religion stole my wife and am livid over it. Just venting I guess, but thanks for the new word I learned from here.. I'm now a NeverMo!

Thank you.
R

Sorry to hear about your loss.

The Mormon church is good at dividing families whether between spouses or between children and parents.

It promises eternity, while it rips away your loved ones from your bosom here on earth.

It isn't even biblical based but based on a totally made up false doctrine.

Too bad your wife got blindsided by the trappings.

So sorry. That is Mormonism though. Either destroying families one at a time or in groups. They suck real life right out of your relationship as you are demoted to second place in your own relationship after the church.

You have a chance to be really happy again once the pain is gone. I wish you the best.

NeverMo is a truly wonderful thing to be. At least you know to steer clear of all things Mormon now.

So sorry this happened to you. I lost a spouse when I faith-transitioned out of the church. At the time, I was devastated and it took a couple of years to heal. Along the way, I realized a few things.

In a healthy, loving, long-term relationship, unconditional love and complete acceptance of one's partner are needed from both participants. If she had loved you unconditionally and accepted you as you are, completely, she would not have dumped you for being non-Mormon.

Right now, you feel terrible. It will get better.

You have something she doesn't: freedom. You have freedom over your own mind, your actions, your time, your money, your decisions, and your life. As long as she's Mormon, she will never have those things.

Give yourself time to grieve the loss, love and accept yourself, and find a supportive community of people (RfM was a great resource for me when I went through my divorce). You'll survive this, and you are now free to live the kind of life you want. I built a wonderful, satisfying life after TBM spouse cut me loose. You can, too.

I am so sorry that this happened to you. Unfortunately, it is sadly common when spouses differ over their belief and participation in Mormonism.

Please keep reading this board. You are a welcome member of our community. Great support can be found here.

after having gone through this after many more years than you I too lost my wife to LDS

I know it sounds cliché but it does get better.. I would not have believed that while going through it.
You may want to try to save it if it is possible and go to her bishop and stake pres and try to have her reason.
I did and it worked for a while but the extortion was too great and I was only playing a role in her play.
My heart goes out to you... cover your ass with an attorney now if its inevitable.
If you're in Utah I know a female attorney that will
be well worth your time and money.

NeverMoTx, I feel for you. I'm also a nevermo, though I married a woman who had converted to Mormonism years before we ever met. Even though we went into our marriage knowing we had different beliefs, that didn't make us immune to arguments about Mormonism and my lack of belief. Like you, I've come here for support and understanding.

I'm so sorry that it didn't work out for you and your wife.

Families can be together forever*.

*As long as your entire family is orthodox Mormon, straight, and gives all their time, talent, and resources to the church.

I'm sorry that your marriage has was destroyed. Hopefully, one day you will find someone who will be with you no matter what your belief or lack thereof.

NeverMoTX:

Big virtual bro-hugs. I feel your pain. I am an ex-Mormon who lost my wife when I discovered the truth... and tried sharing it with her. It sucks. It hurts. It does get better.

If you want to make one last ditch effort at saving your marriage, try giving your wife a copy of these two books:

http://www.amazon.com/Mormon-Enigma-Emma-Hale-Smith/dp/0252062914/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1455812535&sr=1-1&keywords=mormon+enigma+emma+hale+smith

and

CESLetter.com

The CES Letter is in PDF. You can self publish it through a number of sources online.

Maybe give both of them to your wife with a really sincere and nice love letter.

Best Regards,

Joe

PS--Expect very little.

This happening makes me very angry. I am sorry for your loss. If TSCC actually believed in the bible there wouldn't be this divorce over a mixed religion marriage. see 1 Corinthians 7: 10-14.

The fact that this happens at all is just proof to me that it is a cult.

Know that there are people here that understand your pain and your loss. We are here for you.

...which is a really, really short drive. How can a person choose a church over their husband or wife? Not even a god but a church! But then I made wedding vows almost 29 years ago to my husband and NOT to a church!

He is my love and also my best friend. Yeah, he does things that are annoying, but so what? I'm sure I must be incredibly annoying to live with too! But we both decided long ago that life's too short to get all worked up over dumb stuff. We also decided that our home was to be a Stress-Free Zone as much as possible. Thus, we accept each other as flawed, silly, occasionally pretty dumb people with weird habits and strange ideation, but also as smart, clever, funny, and lovable... and besides loving each other we like each other! That is so important (in my opinion).

I'm quite sure that the Morg would not approve!

My heart breaks for all of you. I think the Mormon church is evil because it makes grandiose statements about "The Family" but breaks up any families that do not fit into its design.

They have no clue what there is out there to date and marry. They are going to go out there and find someone to take them to the temple. If you have children, the step-father will never love them like you do. You can never have an "intact" family again.

I was a single devout mormon woman until I was 27. I married someone gay and I'd say I did pretty damn good with what there was available. He's a good guy, he's just gay. I refused to ever date another mormon EVER. Nonmormons always treated me better and now I'm back with the guy I wanted to marry at age 20 (for 11 years).

I can't believe the women who give up a good man over mormonism. They are in for a rude awakening. Some posters have said before that every woman who is thinking of divorcing their exmormon or nonmormon husband should attend a few LDS singles dances. Has anyone seen the LDSsingles commercial on TV. Looks like a bunch of winners there.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/18/2016 01:05PM by cl2.

Sadly your wife probably has some idea in her head of a worthy priesthood holder who is going to whisk her off to the temple and make all of her Mormon dreams come true. She might even have one special guy in mind.

Too bad she's going to realize that the reality is nothing like the fairy tale. The Mormon man who acts all spiritual and Godly in company and is a foul-mouthed, porn-addicted tyrant on all other occasions is so common that it would be funny if weren't so tragic.

Don't be surprised if she comes crawling back to you in a few years.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

Back in the day, my fiance was a recent convert to the church. I was a TBM who had been a member all my life. There came a point during our engagement, as he got more deeply involved in the church, that he started questioning and looking deeper into the history and doctrine. It didn't take him long to realize it was false.

When he did, he tried to share it with me. I responded with rage at first. I rejected what he had to say, and accused him of lacking faith. I was scared. The church was part of my identity.

I loved him, though. I loved him, and if I was going to give him up, I wanted to be absolutely sure that what he was saying was false. I was sure I could disprove anything he had to say, anyway, and maybe even win him back.

We both know how that ended.


If your wife loves you, if she values you the way you deserve to be valued, she will at least hear you out with an open mind. If she is unwilling/unable to do that... you would be on the losing end of this relationship whether you stayed married or not.

Sounds to me like you dodged a bullet.

I'm with Doxie on this, if a person choses a religion over

their husband or wife, they didn't love you enough. Life is

too short to be with someone who doesn't love you. Go and

find someone else.

See, this is what I don't get. Many here post about the patriarchy and oppression of women in the church. Then we read all these stories of women joining up, or sticking with it after husband leaves, or choosing church over husband and divorcing.


There must be something in it for women. It was easier for me to convert women than men. I assume all the pro-family, anti-sex messages and being able to report husband to leaders if they get out of line.

Have you not seen all the posts recently about husbands staying or returning while wives leave? No, because you'd rather steep yourself in confirmation bias.

Been there, done that, It took my ex a year to divorce me after she went through the big house. Bad deal all around. I found out she was being coached by other people in her ward.

NeverMoTx,

Im so very sorry. More than I can express.

Welcome! Hang in there. Hopefully things will get better for you. Many are here to share their stories and can understand where you're coming from!
So sorry. Religious ideas can be so damaging.

"Too bad your wife got blindsided by the trappings."

What are the trappings? If you are referring to friendships etc., NOT one of them is real. TBMs are "friends" because of their gag a maggot callings.
I am obviously missing something. Could someone tell me what are the trappings? If you are NOT referring to something real, then there are no trappings. I am confused. As far as I can tell, there is NOTHING real about the CULT including its "trappings," phony everything.

The promises of the "forever family" and eternal life in the Celestial Kingdom and being gods and goddesses maybe?

I'm sorry. My marriage may be headed in that direction, just the idea crushes my heart. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. Hang in there. Now you can find someone who loves and respects you for you. Maybe another ex-mormon is the way to go? We should create an ex-mo dating site hahahaha

Mormonism didn't break up my marriage.
Darts broke up my marriage.
I asked my wife why she kept coming home so late.
She told me she was at a bar playing darts.
I told her she did not play darts.
She told me she learned to play it and liked it.
I found out she had been playing darts with her future husband whom she met on the internet.
She was married to him for about a year.
The real tragedy was my little girls.
I went to ex's house one day an stood in the driveway holding their hands while they were crying and telling me that they didn't want him to be their stepdad.
They said they wanted me to come back.
If that's not heartbreaking I don't know what is.



I guess I'm one of those "winners".

That's very sad.
It's hard to understand the selfish things people do sometimes.

well atleast you aren't pressuring her to be in charge. Breath deep sorry-- that is so painful. I hope you both remember love, and each other.

Mormonism came into our home in much the same manner. My mother joined. My dad never swallowed the bilge. Mormonism caused some serious strain on our family but Mom felt that her first commitment was to our father so we got lucky there. But it was close a couple of times.

You have my sympathy. Nobody deserves to have Mormonism mucking around in his marriage.