Posted by:
paintinginthewin
(
)
Date: April 25, 2011 01:06AM
your inner assurance & confidance in your life, your serenity & lack of guilt or concern, your lack of anxiety- this is the basis of a grand love in life.
why engage or connect in any way? who are you feeding here? your lives are not a re enactment of the middle ages feuds between religion nor are they a re enactment between feuding land holding clans.
at any rate, from what you've told, the only argument, and the strongest argument, is solely the one that comes from the son to the mother setting boundaries & demonstrating loyalty to his siginificant other instead of his mother.
dramatic exchange or declarations serve only to divert from the most singular significant investment- the only investment of the only party in power in this matter ---
and that is the son, of the mother & your husband..... not anything you say or do matters a bit if he doesn't say it himself unprompted as a man to his mom.
being prompted like a puppet, or saying or responding to what he was asked to talk about-- it still doesn't come from HIM, the son putting his love, his own family first and refusing to put his mama first.
what is there for you to say anymore or anyways? if he won't say it himself, from himself, from his own self, speaking an adult- of his own choice, with no prompting- to his mama, putting his loyalty with you his lover/wife, you know, it just won't hold water/ hold the line/ put the loyalty with you.
he has to say it- it has to come from him. it isn't anything about you, incidentally, it is an issue of him- he has got to be mature & strong enough to not follow mama, jump when she calls, and say one thing to her and another to you, and pretend not to hear her, or get insistant with you to put up with -------------not with 'her' (if that is ever what he said) ----------but to put up with HIM letting ANYONE dis you (disrespect you) the mother of his children. HE has to say things
you do not need another line or statement, or argument in ANY WAY with the woman. It has to, to mean anything, to make any difference at all, to be effective - it has to come from him.
the problem is him. you arguing for or near or getting in arguing- is beggin the question- how loyal will he be? will he stand up in there for me? stop stirring it up. get on with your sweet life. let this man you want to be loyal to show you- prove it.
not you phone call or reach out and argue. presently incidentally if you appear to harangue or turn someone's hair white the week their spouse had a heart valve surgery it doesn't look all that classy- you would hate to have your spouse throw that back at you in regret or rage later. really.
besides its his wretched family let him yell & argue at them. he will do that won't he? stand his ground & support you agains this family?
because that's the point