So, if you're coming to this post for something really juicy, I apologize. Not that good, just seeking some advice. I recently told my wife about my beliefs a few months back. I wrote a post on how she responded; in short, not good. She is a fanatic about it and has started doing this: she now practices the good old Mormon doctrine of inoculation.

To what, you may ask?

To me. Their father. We are still together (barely), but she is now telling the kids that whatever she says is truth and they need to know that. She is telling them that, if anybody else tells them anything contrary to the teachings of TSCC, they are lying to them and deceiving them. Even if it's somebody close to them, i.e. me. She's inoculating them to what I may say to them in the future and basically setting me up to become a liar and deceiver to my own kids. Fortunately, I have been able to talk to them and set the record straight. I don't want them believing anything close to those thoughts ever. It's not fair because then they will think anybody outside the church is a liar and deceiver too. I have this suspicion that the Bishop in my wife's ward is telling her to do these things; or her parents. They are too stupid to see that this can and will have lasting effects on my kids.

Another episode in the life of somebody that grows to dislike the church immensely more and more every day.

I am afraid that this inoculation will know no bounds if we get divorced; but the pain from this marriage is spilling over onto the kids.

The DW is engaging in exactly what marriage counselors tell you NOT to do. Even Divorce counsel advice is to not demonize each other and to keep the kids out of any wars between the spouses.

But you know, church comes first and protecting family from evil, filthy, lying, cheating porn ridden husband apostates means that all morals and anything right is to be sacrificed.
All scripture to the contrary be damned!

Since she has doubledouble downed maybe she needs to read 1 Corinthians 7:5 and see that she still has a good man. Oopps! Thats scripture and was prolly translated incorrectly so you know, church.

The church creates the impression that your nards are impotent and you aren't in charge of shite.


Well, now that you know thats not true maybe its time to dust them off.

I would call her on it, and just say, "No, you are NOT going to call me a liar to my own children."

Kids are smart. They really are. And most people here who have ended up divorced have found that it improves the relationship to the children if you stay involved. The kids very quickly figure out that their parents have different opinions about the world and that becomes the new normal. It usually has the effect of opening their minds to new possibilities.

You need to talk to DW and work out some boundaries. Point out to her that you are not "inoculating" the children against her. You are not telling them that she is a crazy liar and you expect the same from her. Agree what you both will and will not say to the children. Perhaps you are willing to let her continue to raise them in the church without sharing your concerns. Maybe you can agree that you will not bring up the subject, but will answer any direct questions honestly. You have to figure out what the boundaries are, but the two of you have got to figure them out ASAP.

Remind her that no matter how important she thinks her beliefs are, they are beliefs. You are not abusing or neglecting your children.

Whatever you work out, as Summer suggested, she needs to be called out immediately for poisoning the well against you. That's just not okay for one parent to do to the other.

#mormonsgonnamorm