I am an amateur actor (emphasis on amateur) and recently after a performance, as is customary in this theater, the actors go to the front door to await the audience as they leave the theater. In the audience was a person with whom I had served in the bishopric and he approached me and without warning gave me a big hug. It caught me by surprise, as this man and I were never close, and since leaving the church, I have had little contact with him. The vibe I got from the hug was not one of congratulations on a good performance(he said nothing), but it seemed to be one of pity or something wierd. To say the least, I was a little offended. I felt that this man was hugging me, because that would fix everything as if that all I was lacking was a hug from him so that I would go back to church. It seemed to shallow and artificial, meant for public viewing, as this man has never come to my door to ask why I left the church or to inquire as a friend as to my true feelings. However, what I learned in leaving the church, is that there are no true friendships with Mormons only church acquaintances. This incident only confirmed that observation. Yuck!

Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner! Yes, there are no true friendships with Mormons. That whole subject is some interesting psychology, but it's a real thing. That reason alone is cause to leave Mormonism. You don't want to become like that.

Your creepy encounter reminds me of Toy Story:

Woody: You are a child's play thing!
Buzz: You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.

"No true friendships in Mormonism"

One might say the same thing with families, should a person be an apostsate, LBGT, a guitarist, or Democrat.

But most families don't maintain an infantile worldview as a matter of religious practice. Children drop friends for the most trite reasons, not adults.

Guitarists? I need to know more about that! ;)

nomonomo Wrote:
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> Guitarists? I need to know more about that! ;)

There is no Mormon reference to Elder J. Marshall Hendrix, Elder Stevie R. Vaughn, Elder Eric P. Clapton, or Elder Edward V. Halen.

Not an oversight, as these individuals must be followers of Satan.

Ive got some cutting edge research going on pertaining to this very subject...been (friends) with my buddy for twenty five years..over the top tbm...the last couple years his inquiries into my not playing church become ever more pointed and aggressive...one of these days rather than just agree or not comment the swhtf...itll either be sudden end to a godd friendship..or hell be hitting the door too...as with those with family still active tip toeing seems the norm...when the day comes and it will...i hope im not out a friend...if i am it wont be the first time...truth shouldnt require sacrifice...but it usually does in modum

pity is so condescending.

The backrubs, overly long handshakes, pats on the back. I hated it when I was a member. I don't like being touched. I don't like being hugged. I can function in society because I know refusing to shake someone's hand is seen as disrespectful but who walk up to a casual acquaintance and roughly grabs/rubs the back of their neck? Mormons, that's who.

Missionaries make unwanted and unexpected contact daily. Mormons are every member a missionary.

He can feel for them, but they ain't there. I dispensed with them way before I resigned. Also, my character likes to take certain liberties with the ladies, so maybe he was ????? OMG

Was he feeling for garments under your costume? :-)

Hey, I don't know what the show was but maybe, just maybe, you emotionally affected him. Or maybe it was a "You're an actor, I pity you" hug...

Definitely sounds like he thought he could make it all better with a hug. I bet he has added the experience to his testimony.

On the subject of unwanted physical contact. I don't like to be hugged.(except from my husband and my kids) Especially by people I am not close to. I hate handshakes. It has nothing to do with germs or anything like that. Whenever we would walk up to people in church my DH would shake hands and I would keep my arms folded. I have to tell myself to relax when friends come in for a hug. But I always feel really weird about it. It almost gives me an uncomfortable feeling just typing about it. On several occasions I have reacted quite defensively when someone has come up and put a hand on my arm or shoulder. It freaks me out.

So all the handshakes and hugs dispensed at church were never my thing. I think I scared people away! Thank goodness!!

I avoided physical contact so much that my best friend from high school once asked me for a hug for her birthday. I reluctantly obliged.

"No true friendships in Mormonism" made me think back to when I was a teenager.

My folks enjoyed card games, and several other couples were regulars. They would visit each others homes for card parties/socials. And then the ward split.

The card parties became a rare occurrence. Even though the other couples still lived in the same homes, they were now in different wards. They were still "friends", they just didn't socialize any longer.

Very weird now that I think about it.

Oh dear. Over here it is just not British. ;-)

Briggy