I was mostly TBM when I lived there, but I was an outsider in every sense of the word. I was from California. My hair was short (1980's). I dressed stylishly. I chose to live alone.
The shit potential employers asked me in interviews was like being in front of a dipshit, horny bishop. I lasted six months and got the hell out of Dodge.
But if you're filthy rich, demonstrate it amply and don't care what people think of you, your mormon neighbors will compete to be your friend. I wish there were an S, like 'frisend, so I could have written, "...your mormon neighbors will compete to be your fri$end..."
Well said Elderolddog! I was trying to say something similar. It has been my experience growing up in Provo that there is a different standard set for the rich/famous in Zion. Mormons are a case study in keeping up appearances. Which, is all it really is about. After all God "blesses those he really loves. "
Lived there for 4 years as a non-mo and husband inactive. I would say no. People constantly try to group you by your relationship with the church. For example, I went to set up a checking account at the local US Bank - a conversation ensued about my having just moved there, and one of the first questions was, "which ward are you in". Most social activities revolve around church. It is more tolerable if you can befriend others who are non-mo, but, that can be a matter of chance.
At the time, I couldn't wait to move back home and was happy to finally do it. In hindsight, I have realized it was the most unhappy I have been in my life and I think it's because I felt isolated (even though I was married) because it's very difficult to become socially involved, have a sense of community, and find others you can relate to. My husband managed to find two friends - one inactive and one non-mo, who had the same hobbies as him, while I struggled to find women who were similar to me.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/25/2016 12:48AM by dogeatdog.
Some do, apparently. I couldn't. I tried for about 1.5 years. It was awful. I ran back to California as fast as I could.
Things like getting pulled over by the cops just for walking out of a 7-11 with a cup of coffee (which happened to me at least 4 times) got really old. Every "neighbor" constantly inviting me to come to church got even older. The awful treatment I got from those same neighbors once I stopped politely declining, but instead told them I was an RM who had left and was never going back, was the worst.
I'm in the camp with the other TBMs who couldn't stand the place while a member of the club. Do you think you'd be comfortable on planet Kolob? In the Celestial Kingdom with those insufferable clowns?
"but no one has tried to push me into anything" - this is so not true. Who do you think the lawmakers are in Utah and especially Provo? You are being pushed into so much Mo-ism it is pathetic. They just disguise it under the name "laws."
DH and I moved to Provo five months ago. Heading back to California in two weeks.
Our landlord graciously cancelled our lease because we have been so sick here.
Once we came here to visit with our little shih tzu. Going home, heading west, she sat on the center console and wouldn't turn her head left or right until we were home!
You realize you're getting a biased sample, right? Many of the people who post here, me included, are (justifiably) quite angry with the Mormon church, and often Mormons in general by association.
I live in Orem, which seems basically the same as Provo. Mormon stuff does come up on a regular basis but no one has tried to push me into anything. (Granted, my personality is such that I won't be pushed.)
Like most places, it's what you make of it. I usually hang out with non-Mormons (there are lots, even in Orem/Provo), but I get along fine with my Mormon coworkers.
If your goal is to forget Mormonism exists, this isn't a good place for it. If you just want to do your own thing, the movie theaters and Costco are empty on Sundays, and there are lots of people who aren't Mormon anymore and will let you vent (and vent back). Hell, Provo even hosts a Pride!
Xyandro Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------ > > If your goal is to forget Mormonism exists, this > isn't a good place for it. If you just want to do > your own thing, the movie theaters and Costco are > empty on Sundays, and there are lots of people who > aren't Mormon anymore and will let you vent (and > vent back). Hell, Provo even hosts a Pride!
There are some places open on Sunday, and the great thing is, you'll know everyone there isn't TBM.
Not in Provo but in the same county.Its doable but really, really hard and It kind of makes you crazy at times.We are trying to get out of Utah county or out of Utah if possible right now.
I have a niece (actually two,) who are inactive LDS and both living in Provo.
One is a RN who recently married her live-in boyfriend, and seems quite happy there with her life.
The other doesn't seem happy but that isn't because she lives in Provo. She was not happy before she moved there, she was cut off by my brother and his wife because she was no longer useful to them. She was their oldest adopted daughter, and kept as an indentured servant to their younger children while she was growing up.
She was stigmatized early on in her home life. It has nothing to do with her living in Provo. Provo probably does exacerbate her feeling isolated because she doesn't relate well to Mormons. My dad used to tell me how sorry he felt for her when she was growing up in my brother's house. She didn't get to go to public school because her parents said she wasn't smart enough. So she was their maidservant and nanny while my sister-in-law slept half the day. Once she was grown up and no longer useful to them she was forced to move out, but with no life skills or education to help her gain her independence. My dad would say she was highly intelligent. My brother and his wife just destroyed her self-worth. They don't even check on her or try to assist her now she's been on her own. She's now like a forgotten child to them. Like their other grown adopted children. It makes me angry when I think about it.
They are smug self-righteous TBM's if there ever were any, especially the sister-in-law. From what my niece has told me she now attends church elsewhere, but not LDS.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/26/2016 08:09AM by Amyjo.
Are you looking for a place to live while working in one of the tech companies in Provo? Be careful with the company too. Some are very accommodating and not primarily LDS, but some are. (Hint:If you don't see a coffee machine in a prominent place, run the other way!) There are other places to live if you want/need to work in the area. The farther north you go, the more non-LDS you find. I personally go to Provo only to visit one particular store or to special displays at the museum. The vibe is just odd, and there are far too many Stepford-wives-types.