Posted by:
fbtj
(
)
Date: March 31, 2016 01:04AM
One of my biggest reasons for recently leaving the church was the November policy and the catastrophic effect it had on LGBTQ+ members suicides in the Utah county and greater Utah area. I'm 17 and a high school student in Utah county, and along with going to the regular public school, half of my B-days I spend over at an advanced college credit school where kids from all over the district also partially attend. I'm a film student there and often we have BYU and UVU film students coming in to give us presentations.
Well one day we had 4 girls giving a presentation, but one of them looked very uncomfortable and upset. Halfway through she walked out of the room and said "I'm sorry, excuse me I have to leave, good luck guys." and swiftly left. I waited a few seconds but the curiosity killed me, I'm the type of person that likes to listen to peoples problems and talk to them, and I just had to know what was making her so emotional. I gave some shitty bathroom excuse and left the room and approached her on her way to her car. I initiated conversation asking how she was doing.
This was a desperate girl, she was overcome with anxiety and was on the brink of suicide, later she would recall she "just had to tell SOMEONE, ANYONE." A lot of people wear their problems on their sleeve for attention, not her, she bottled them up so long they exploded on me in panic.
Through the course of conversation she shortly revealed to me that she was a Lesbian. This lead to a greater discussion about the church and she was extremely relieved to find I was an exmormon. Hours go by and we've driven somewhere more private, I'm sluffing my second two periods after I go to the regular public school, and were talking about everything. Her parent's don't know about her sexuality but homosexuality is a topic her parents are passionate about, in the wrong way. They often go on tyraids about the disgusting perversion of homosexuality, and it was beginning to make her feel awful. Meanwhile, someone in the BYU Administration found out she was gay and was threatening to tell her parents, withhold her transcript, and kick her out of the school, and cover it all with a lie about why they were doing it unrelated to sexuality. He was blackmailing her and said if she wouldn't agree to schedule an appointment with the bishop soon he would do all of that. Well get back to that prick later.
I managed to calm her down and we exchanged numbers, I told her I would get back to her that night and as often as I could whenever she needed to talk.
I wish I would have been better at keeping up on this.
Because 2 weeks later I tried to call her and got her mother, she questioned me about who I was, and after saying I was a friend from her "ward" she said in tears that she had tried to hang herself, but failed because the thing she tried to tie it to in the ceiling (thankfully) came out and she fell to the ground before it could do serious damage. This along with that she didn't totally do it right so it didn't snap her neck.
She gets hospitalized for mental health and eventually her phone is returned to her and I'm able to get in contact. Her parents grill her about why she tried to do it but of course she's not going to tell them, and just says in general terms that she is "depressed".
Now back to the prick at BYU, this guy finds out about why she's been absent from school and I guess feels some sort of humanity if that's even possible in his pompous disgusting fucking excuse for a soul, and decides to keep the information until she is back, then get back to threatening her. (yeah... really).
Eventually she gets back into the world and at this point I'm physically seeing her every night and hanging out with her, but it's becoming difficult on my schedule and my parents are getting suspicious (they don't know I'm an atheist at this point, so I have no way of explaining what the hell is going on every night, I'm just making excuses but its getting harder). So I tell her that she needs to find at least 1 other friend she can tell, that would be accepting and keep things discreet like me. She ends up deciding she can trust 2, and I get in contact with them. The 3 of us then set up a kind of support system, and take shifts hanging out with her every night, talking, and doing stuff.
Meanwhile were trying to find a college that will accept her on her current situation, were being selective and finding liberal colleges that will listen to her story and be sympathetic. She's back going to BYU and the prick still hasn't (I guess that's what I'm calling him on here) called her back to his office since.
Now it's time for good news.
One night one of the friends cant make it, and asks me to fill in, so I do. We were going to go see a movie, but I ended up getting there late and that didn't happen, so we decide to rent and stream one. She picks "Milk" (2008) about Harvey Milk, the guy who pioneered Castro district in San Francisco in the 70s and became the first openly gay person elected to office. (great movie, should have been best picture, got nominated but lost to Slumdog Millionaire, also great but... beside the point) There's an extremely emotional scene in the movie in which Milk finds his lover hanging in their apartment. During this scene we both begin balling, and she turns to me and says "I promise I will never try and kill myself again, for you and (friend name) and (friend name)."
At this point I feel victory.
But that's not all. The next day New York University gives her a call and says they will accept her and transfer her to their school immediately on account of emergency and will also make sure her transcript gets moved as well.
Now it's time to tell the parents. She wasn't living with them she was living in student housing in Provo, but that night she decides, "I'm telling them, and I don't give a shit what they think". I don't know if it was the attempted suicide, but they weren't as bad as we thought. She came out of the closet and she kept herself on higher ground, she made it clear that's who she was and that she wasn't going to stoop to their demands or deals, and that she was prepared to lose them if they didn't accept her. They were initially hostile, but after a few hours they were beginning to see the error of their ways. Now weeks removed, and her flying out to NYC, they have begun to finally make peace with it and accept her.
I cannot believe that this has turned out the way that it has, but it makes me absolutely fucking sick to think of the 50+ other kids who have killed themselves in this state since November. I hope the Morg understands the damage they are causing, and does something. I don't care if they do something and it makes them look great and membership goes up, I don't care as long as this stops. But they wont do anything.
I don't write this for praise and to be honest a lot of this is on the two other friends who have been absolutely amazing in this process. I just want people to read this and know that if you encounter anything like this that you do everything in your power to make sure they know how precious life is and how much they are loved.
~TJ
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/31/2016 01:07AM by fbtj.