Dear Elder Eyring,

I listened to your talk at Priesthood session of conference. How dare you? HOW DARE YOU?! You placed the responsibility of the family’s stability on 14-year-olds. Boys, because they have the priesthood. Because they stand in proxy for God, right? RIGHT?!

Well, let me tell you: I was an Aaronic priesthood holder once. I thought it was my duty to keep my family intact, even though my parents were abusive to each other and to each of their children. I felt responsible for keeping my mother from stepping over the edge of despair, to keep her from taking pills and slitting her wrists because she thought she was unworthy of Heaven. Because she was RAPED when she was young, by a Priesthood leader. When she was a CHILD. She did’t seek help for her pain, because her prophet, Spencer Kimball, told her it was HER fault. Because she didn’t die fighting off her molester. Because she LIVED.

The second time she slit her wrists, she called out for me. I was the only person home. She begged me to sit her upright, so she could have one cigarette before she died. Yes, she smoked. Because she was always on edge. She smoked because nicotine helped her calm down enough to feel human.

Except. Except her religion. Fucking MORMONISM, told her it made her even more unworthy of God’s love.

And here I was, a boy in my teens, given the choice of helping my mother have one last puff of smoke before she left all of this pain and suffering behind and saving her life.

I chose to call 911. I had her taken away. And she lived.

I was promised that the Spirit of the Lord would bless me if I went on a mission. My Mom was healing in a mental institution when I turned in my papers. I was supposed to be healed by running away to serve the Lord and the church.

I wasn’t. My mission only opened me up to more exploitation and more abuse.

AND IT’S YOUR FAULT.

You see, it’s not a child’s responsibility to make sure his parents are happy. His parent’s marriage isn’t his to fix. He is not responsible for his parents. THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HIM.

My parents failed. And you put the blame on me. FUCK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT.

You are not qualified to counsel families. You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.

I am thankful my children will never hear your toxic counsel. But my heart breaks for the countless children who will still be tainted by your words and will thus be exposed to abuse.

AND THAT’S YOUR FAULT.

Live with that, you weak, weepy asshole.

-En Sabah Nur

I've written so many letters like that to the church in my head, and some I've actually written. I call them fuck you letters.

So as an aside, are you looking forward to the new X-men movie?

Haha. You have no idea how excited I am.

Would that the letter could actually reach his desk and be read by him! To be a fly on the wall in that office.

RB

I'm so sorry you went through this hell.

Good for you.

The best thing for these narcissistic "spiritual leaders" aka con men would be if everyone stopped listening to them and told them you are full of it. I wonder if they would ever admit to the scam, if put to it by everyone they met?

Please I beg you - please send this to Eyring!! Please do it.

If I had any expectation he would see this, I would send it.

But we all know that they means of protecting themselves from he real world.

So sorry this happened to you.

I'm always amazed when I find out that someone (like you) with amazing wit and humor has been through hell and back. <hugs>

That's very kind. Thank you.

Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
'Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools," said I, "You do not know.
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you.
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence."


Maybe all we've all wanted from them is to shut up for once in their lives. And realize the power of silence.

I love this song so much.

Thanks, RJ. It's really wonderful to have people like you (sometimes just you) who truly understand me, and care for me despite my flaws.

I can't wait for this thing we're collaborating on to breach the birth canal and be presented to the congregation!

<Kisses>

Amen!

Humor and laughter are born of pain and suffering...its better than crying ...good on ya EN...i salute you...you went through hell and your still standing to tell about it...that takes character and guts...there are many here with stories so similar...survivors i like to call us...guess when your suckled on the front tits of the church sow...these jokers just miss all the gritty stuff...even if you sent that letter it would swoosh right over hanks head...you really do have to be there...dont stay thirsty friend...we'll hoist a glass with you...i liken it to andy dufrense...he crawled through 500 yards of shit and came out clean on the other side...the rain in that scene just looks like heaven...real heaven..hope is a good thing...most days

I'm sad to hear that you went through this. So often we focus on the misogyny in TSCC, forgetting that it can be just as horrible for males in that organization.

Did your mom ever recover emotionally?

Hugs and comforting thoughts sent your way.

TG

My mother's less emotionally recovered than she is under permanent influence of high-powered anti-psychotics.

But her life is remarkably improved. I wouldn't say she has a great life, but she fills up her time with projects. For instance, she's an amazing Girl Scout leader right now, and I'm happy for her.

As abusive as Mormonism is for everyone, both man and woman, I still think men have particular privilege inasmuch as they still have the Priesthood, and with that comes opportunities for advancement. D. Todd Christofferson said in this conference that men are still the presiding leaders of their home and the church, which he thinks is entirely appropriate.

I recently went to my niece's baptism. The ward combined hers with that of another child, a boy in her Sunday School class.

When they were confirmed into the church, the boy was blessed to be "strong," "intelligent," and to have "power." My niece was blessed to be "meek" and "obedient," and to always look for ways to "serve."

Saying all of this, I a still HORRIFIED by the rhetoric the church is using with the youth of the church across gender lines. They are telling their grandchildren and great-grandchildren to monitor their friends and family, to step into their parents' marriages and protect the family at all cost.

They're setting children up for a life of exploitation and abuse. I will do whatever is in my power to make sure that the kids within the my scope of influence will not fall prey to the same destructive environment that I was pushed into, that pushed my Mom toward hopelessness and self-harm.

I've wondered from time to time if the mormon church isn't one of many experiments where those who really run this planet are looking for ways to eventually better manage us. In the same way that we've turned wolves in to harmless, obediant house pets over several generations, they want to create people who will do what they're told, and to not question authority. Keeping generations of people in the church and always obediant is just a selective breeding program with long-term gradual changes in the people over a long period of time. That crap they spew out at general conference just supports the culture that the church leaders work to sustain long term. Obediance is the first law of slavery. They need to teach obediance to the young men as soon as possible. Someday, it'll just be the nature of some people to always do what they're told to do and who never complain about being abused.

No. No. You've got it absolutely backwards. The life of a dog is infinitely better than the life of a wolf. Socially, too. Wolves form packs, with a tight hierarchy that lets only the top wolves breed and exposes all wolves--both within and without the pack--to a high risk of being executed by their own packmates or, especially, outsiders. They experience a high probability of being murdered before old age. It's like being in a gang.

Dogs, on the other hand, are domesticated, which means they're highly tolerant. Biologists say they don't form packs. They form loose "groups," and they rarely kill one another.

Organizations like Mormonism exist to prove to everyone that the power to be happy exists within each person, and each person can bring it out. Being tolerant, like dogs, rather than insecure and reactionary like wolves, promotes a happy life. Learning that Mormonism is full of BS--the priesthood doesn't exist,and it doesn't exist for Mormons or for anyone else either--is the point of Mormonism.

Oaks, himself, said that God doesn't intervene. Agency is all there is. Therefore, don't pray for God to intervene. It's a waste of time. Oaks--the prophet--said so. Use your agency. Don't rely on priesthood power. God won't intervene, whether you're a priest or not. Use your agency.

Thanks, Oaks. You just explained how your organization means nothing. There is no "loyal opposition." There is only obedience to the hierarchy. Yet, God doesn't intervene; so, what's the point? Why be a wolf and expose yourself to an intolerant pack heirarchy which further exposes you to being slaughtered by other wolves, including your own packmates? Why not be a tolerant dog, among other tolerant dogs, and live a long, healthy, and happy life; since, only your own agency makes the difference anyway. God's staying completely out of it. After all, He created wolves and dogs, why should He favor one over the other?

Oaks rendered his own organization obsolete. Similar organizations exist for the same reason: to demonstrate their obsolesence, so that people can learn to live free.

Mail this to his home address. He needs to see this.

If someone PMs me his home address, I'll send it. I choose to believe that Henry Eyring is more ignorant than evil. That may have been why it stung so much, because he has always seemed caring, and this appeared to be incredibly out of character.

I, too, am so sorry for what you have gone through, and what your Mom has gone through.

The Mormon cult is abusive in so many ways. I try in anyway I can to shout it out, exposing this organization for the evil it does. So much is done in the cult that takes years to undo, if an when it is discovered, and then, if it is possible to remedy.

I detest it.

"I was supposed to be healed by running away to serve the Lord and the church.

I wasn’t. My mission only opened me up to more exploitation and more abuse."


My experience was similar. Thank you for sharing. I sometimes think I'm going crazy because I don't like talking about it to anyone.

400 E Marina Cir
Saratoga Springs, UT 84045-8150

Thank you. I'll make a few minor adjustments now that I'm completely sober and not in a PTSD-fueled freak out, but I think I'll send it on.

I have very little expectation that he'll read it, but it's important to allow myself to have a voice, AND to give him an opportunity to address my dissent. He can choose to do with it what he will. Even if that means he (or an assistant) throws it in the trash without reading.