As a 12 year old boy, I started masturbating (as many 12 year old boys do). I remember reading a law of chastity booklet put out by the church and realizing that I was "sinning." I felt terrible, and immediately set up an appointment and confessed everything to the bishop. I was shamed severely and forbidden to take the sacrament until I could go two weeks without masturbating. I continually failed even though I tried really hard, and continued to have to sit week after week with my family in the church pew and not take the sacrament while everyone else around me took it.

The most ridiculous part of the story as I look back on it as an adult is that my bishop actually modified the restriction (possibly to make it more acheivable?) saying that I could take the sacrament as long as I didn't masturbate past Wednesday - after Wednesday was too close to Sunday. In other words I could masturbate as long as my sin had some time to wear off. Of course I failed at this as well and would usually end up trying really hard and then failing on Saturday night. I remember dreading going to church, because as we would walk into the chapel, Bishop would look me straight in the eyes, and it was then that I was told to either shake my head "no" or give him a "thumbs up." It was a "no" for what seemed like months. I eventually put together 2 weeks. I remember giving him the thumbs up and feeling so happy. I had finally proven myself worthy. I remember taking the sacrament and finally getting my Faith in God award, which he had withheld until I was able to "live the law of Chastity."

I think I remained abstinent for about a week after that after which I masturbated again and all of my self worth evaporated on the spot. I remember feeling like a fraud, and just a bad person. It's a combination between comical and pitiful now as I look back on it, but I look back and see this young man (me) struggling with such sincerity and self loathing to "overcome" a natural part of my developing physiology and psychology.

Looking back, I don't know why it never occurred to me to just lie. I found out later that my other friends did just that..

The ironic part of this experience with Bishop X is that he turned out to be the interviewing Stake Counselor for when I interviewed to go on my mission years later. He specifically asked me if I masturbated as one of the questions for the interview and I said "Yes." He shamed me further when he replied, "How can you expect to go teach people about the law of chastity when you can't even live it yourself?" He told me I would have to wait for at least two months before interviewing again to go on my mission. I fortunately had an understanding Stake President (higher in authority than he was) who veto'd his decision and sent me on my mission anyway.

I've worked through a lot of this stuff, but it really screwed me up for a long time. Made me hate my body, and especially my man parts - thinking that they were evil and wrong, like my natural desires.

I have also worked through much of the hatred that I have felt toward this bishop, realizing that he was just another sick and misguided man, trying to live an impossible ideal. I like to think that perhaps he too was tormented by a hatred for his own body; the same hatred that he transmitted to me. This helps me have compassion on him, as I know how awful and difficult it has been to heal from such a deep self-hatred.

I am 35 years old, and am still receiving counseling for some of the leftover crap from my years as a Mormon. I left the church when I was 28.

If my kids were still attending the Mormon church, which gratefully they are not, I wouldn't allow anyone to interview them about anything, without my being present. This implicit trust that is given to the bishop to have a child's best interest at heart or, turned out to be a major source of trauma in my life. My parents didn't have any idea what I was really going through, and I was too ashamed to talk openly with them about it.

If anyone else has similar experiences, or has perspective they would like to give, I am open and much appreciative. I also say thank you to those who created a forum for the purpose of this kind of healing.

It's roulette, Jeremiah...

My kids initially had a bishop that didn't talk about this shit specifically. He let kids deal with their sexuality with their parents.

The next clown held up priesthood advancements over YM telling him they had masturbated. He shamed too many good kids.

I hate that fucker for doing it and he's a really good person in practically every other way.

Another example of the Mormon culture making good people do bad things.

I was an 18 year old convert and no one got around to explaining the no spanking the monkey bit. In fact, as a freshman living on a college campus (not BYU) my roommates and I talked a lot about jacking off, we all admitted we did it--frequently. We joked a lot about it, as is very normal for teenage men.

After I joined the Morg, I transferred to BYU, eventually, the bishop asked me and I said, yes. He looked shocked, but told me to do my best to stop. Later I was interviewed by a member of the stake presidency who essentially told me I was sinful and that he wanted to look in my eyes once a week because he could tell if I had wanked just by looking into my eyes. I finally moved apartments to get out of the BYU stake I was in.

Eventually, another new bishop asked me if I masturbated, I confessed. He told me that I was disgusting and that the reason I wasn't wanting to get married was that I was getting all the sex I needed by beating off. Once I stopped masturbating, he told me, I would want to get married so I could have sex. How fucked up is that! Again, I moved to get out of that Ward and made up my mind to lie.

The really sick part of this is that we were made to feel guilty by men, who no doubt, also jacked off. On a deeper level, you were a young man (I was older). What business does an older man have asking a young man about something harmless and a normal part of sexual development. No business except if the man in power is getting off on hearing about young men pleasuring themselves. Think of it as ecclestical voyeurism. What you experienced was a form of child abuse through shaming and punishing over something perfectly normal and health. Fucking cult! The Boner.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/26/2016 02:47AM by byuboner.

Oh the guilt from the time I was 12 until my marriage was over about 40 years later. Unbelievable guilt.

Maybe TBM's should join this Facebook Group.

http://imgur.com/79mNQOz

I'm almost sure it's satire.

I didn't actually smite the simian until my Bishop warned me of the evils of masturbation. After my first orgasm I was scared to death that I broke the damn thing.

There's differing opinions on whether it's wrong or not. It's only wrong if you can't outrun your Mormon conditioning because you're programmed to beat yourself up. The programming runs so deep for some people that subconsciously it's permanent.

So, if you're broken that way, accept that limitation for what it is instead of pretending there's any morality involved.

Sure you're broken, but look on the bright side. The church's approach to normal sexually is an excellent study in abnormal psychology. Not to worry, death is the great fixer.

This looks like an all guys thread and I'm not, but it's not just guys who are affected by this.

My bishop was big on masturbation. He asked the young women if they did it, how often and with whom.

I assume we aren't allowed to name names here, but I wish I could publicly denounce him. I don't know how many years he "served" as a bishop but it should be doubled in jail time for scarring the youth.

These were my first experiences with sexuality and the aftermath lives on with me.

I am sorry that so many people were messed with on this issue. I'm positive that the guys had it worse than the young women. I can't imagine being given the inquisitive eye every week before sacrament meeting.

I can't imagine the pressure put on missionary's to quit, and the blame put on their masturbation for low baptism rates.

That is so bat shit crazy!

Sorry this happened to you jeremy. You are not alone.

There are two kinds of men: those who masturbate,





and liars.

had a bishop in my YSA ward shame me about masterbating,he made me come up with a workout plan i was suppose to do a bunch of sit ups and push ups etc. when I had the urge to whack off and the excerises were suppose to take my mind off of it, I even tried it cause I do enjoy excerising but I enjoy a good spanking the monkey session even more. Eventually this bishop got fired from his job (professor) and a quick release (no pun intended) from his calling for getting busted sending a pic of himself masterbating to a student. Should`ve stuck with the push up`s bish

"PROVO, Utah. -- The Mayor and City Council are stepping into the ring with the Provo Masturbation Club.

Mayor Lewis K. Schmelling has ordered a proposed ordinance to regulate the underground self-love group that was founded by local college students this spring.

But Masturbation Club leaders aren't feeling threatened. "They're just bitter because we have more fun than they do on Friday nights," said the Masturbation Club co-founder, who uses the self-love name "Bubbles."

The proposed ordinance could include requiring the city's permission; proper safety equipment; a doctor or a nurse present; and crowd control and toilet facilities. Violators could be subject to a Class B misdemeanor, punishable by up to a $1,000 fine or six months in jail, or a combination of both, according to city code.

The proposed ordinance is not meant to target any licensed self-love club businesses. Masturbation Club leaders are wound up over the proposed ordinance. "Unless it's scripture study, baking bread or ice cream socials, these withered ultra-conservatives will abuse their imagined power, overstep their bounds until they wipe out every avenue of recreation that didn't find its birth in a distant galaxy, like on the planet KOLOB," said Masturbation Club co-founder "The Pink Avenger."

The council members are open to the mayor's proposed ordinance, agreeing something needs to be done with Masturbation Club before someone gets carpal tunnel syndrome. Councilman Dennis Aka-Puki said he especially takes exception to the word "Provo" being used in the Masturbation Club title.

"As if we were endorsing this behavior," he said. The City Council is set to vote on the proposed ordinance at their next council meeting June 6. Masturbation Club leaders said the ordinance won't stop them. We'll just find other cities in which to squirt fun, they said.



But Vic Obligado, Provo city planning commission chair, says over his dead body will the Masturbation Club come to Provo again.

Provo city officials are still angry at the owners of Proving Grounds for hosting the controversial self-love fest -- in a leased whorehouse, last month.

About 400 people showed up, and a few unruly spectators rushed the ring after one auto-eroticist pulled an illegal pull. Provo city officials could yank Proving Grounds' conditional use permit [sic].

Meanwhile, Auto Eroticist leaders are ignoring city officials in Provo and all over the county -- ordinance or no ordinance.

"I can't believe they (Provo Council members) have the audacity to forbid this in a free country," The Black Avenger said. "Fuck it."

Auto Eroticists co-founder "The Badger" said the idea of regulating the self-love club is ridiculous. "So do I have to jump through hoops every time I want to have a pick-up game?" he said.

Schmelling told the council he had heard about the most recent Auto Erotocists' event. It was May 6 at Canyon Glen Park up Provo Canyon, and a crew from the television news show "Extra" filmed the event.

One auto-eroticist swooned, knocked his head on concrete and was "put in a daze, if not unconscious," Schmelling said. There are concerns the administration has, if Auto Eroticists go forth without the proper safety measures, Schmelling said. "And now young women are involved -- and high school students too!!" he added.

The Pink Avenger said Auto Eroticism is an excellent activity for youth." Auto Eroticism is a drug alternative," he opined. "Instead of lushing it up at a liquor store, we have turned to a sport, and now they want to create a communist-like club with Red guards monitoring our every move," The Badger said."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/26/2016 10:42AM by Dave the Atheist.

So, does God masturbate?

If not, seems like a waste--I bet She could achieve some mighty kick-ass orgasms.

God masturbates. Just not on Sundays.

Sunday is a day of rest

Why not beat that monkey raw Monday - Wednesday and then use the rest of the week to let you poor chafed dick recover? According to you bishop you would have been worthy.

"my bishop actually modified the restriction (possibly to make it more acheivable?) saying that I could take the sacrament as long as I didn't masturbate past Wednesday - after Wednesday was too close to Sunday."

That's ridiculous. It's okay to masturbate on Saturday night, as long as you wash your hands before passing the sacrament on Sunday morning.

My mother explicitly told me to lie after I lied to her telling her I didn't do it. She didn't want the embarrassment my older brother put her through to happen again.