Posted by:
NormaRae
(
)
Date: April 29, 2016 12:33PM
Well you are completely right in your observations. Yes, the church cares more about money than they do about families. Yes, it's a cult. No, they never stop and think what they'd do if their daughter married some yahoo and they couldn't witness the event. They turn your own family members against you and they do not respect you as a person.
You can see these things because you lived most of your life in the real world. You can see, however, why it is so hard for those who were born into it to see through it. Conditioning, indoctrination, brainwashing, whatever you want to call it is a very very very strong thing. None of it makes any sense at all, all the facts dispute it, but they can tell you to fall back on "the spirit," i.e. you emotions and how it makes you feel and those of us who were lifelong members with TBM families saw that as valid. It made us feel good, so none of the facts matter.
You did not say if you have kids, but if you do now or in the future, that is how they will be raised. It will be really hard for them to see through it. Sometimes it helps if one family member is a non or inactive member who can counteract some of the indoctrination, sometimes it makes them dig in deeper. So if you don't have kids, my suggestion would be to get this issue, the issue of how the kids will be raised, etc. taken care of before you do. Many people are able to compromise, but sometimes that means your having to keep attending church when you know it's bullshit. Or she may have to compromise that she lets you resign, but you let her raise the kids mormon. Whatever,
Even if you have young kids already, you have to figure it out and now. Your feelings won't change. You won't all of the sudden see that it's true, when it's not. The leaders will always be asshats, even though you'll run across some who are good people at the core and don't push the rules as hard as others. But there's only so much they can do to try to normalize a corrupt and dishonest organization. But whatever, do stick to your guns on the underwear thing. Those things are hideous and you don't want to be imprisoned in them your whole life.