I have a band and we frequently play a local restaurant that features live entertainment. (you can find our latest offering on itunes, Rhapsody, Spotify, etc. Its called KJ and the Burly Boys-"Guilty Pleasure", yes, the theme does reflect a change in lifestyle as well as a poke at my former religion in the track "Man with a Stone") Anyway on Friday, we were scheduled for a gig at this restaurant and as we finished setting up, two TBM families that I know were sitting down to eat. We were about 20 away minutes from starting, by the time we took the stage they were gone. In contrast two of my bandmates are from another religion and a group of their church friends were there, drank beer and wine, laughed and really enjoyed themselves. Other people, including a birthday party and a retirement party, partied with plenty of adult beverages and everyone had a good time. We ended up playing a three hour set. These two TBM families were not unusual as on other occasions when we've played other TBMs are usually in and out and don't tip. Mormons are really a miserable lot, I can't for the life of me see how they score so high on happiness surveys. I'm beginning to think that, with almost everything else, they say they are happy, because that's what the church wants them to say, and not a reflection of their true feelings.

Roger Funles, a faithful Mormon, has no tolerance for spontaneity. If he goes out for dinner, he's not expecting live music. And he doesn't like music anyway. Like water, music is controlled by the devil. Roger thinks Ned Flanders is a beer crazed hippie with all that facial hair. Roger doesn't have a son, he has a disappointment. He finds electric guitars nearly as offensive as Tampon ads. The stick up Roger's ass is a witch hazel divining rod that guides him away from laughter and light mindedness. He thinks we need another president like Dick Nixon. When you start tuning your instruments, Roger is out of there, even if he hasn't finished his rootbeer.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/01/2016 11:43PM by donbagley.