http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/3826343-155/op-ed-what-i-have-learned-as

She has been an occasional op-ed contributor to SLTrib for some years now. She is articulate, thoughtful, educated, socially aware, attractive, black, female, European, returned missionary, married, children, and (now ex) TBM. From a Church PR perspective, she hit every checkbox on the list.

I know several people who hung on because people like her were still in the Church. Her insights on what it is like leaving the fold are not much different from what we hear on RFM on a regular basis from posters, but she has the bully pulpit at an organization that buys ink by the barrel. A lot of TBMs are going to take notice. This is going to hurt.

The cost to LDS Inc of being a homophobic, sexist, soul-crushing organization just went up.
[edit: corrected spelling of first name]



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 05/03/2016 12:21PM by Brother Of Jerry.

She wore the garments for almost two decades!

Very articulate and thoughtful read.

I liked all her ten things she has discovered since leaving the faith of her childhood. My favorites are these:

2. To properly develop mentally and spiritually, I must follow my own conscience whether it is in opposition to the leaders or not. (Mormons are taught from a young age to always follow the prophet no matter what.)

5. I jumped off the "cliff" I was told my entire life to stay away from and I discovered I had wings. I started soaring and the view from where I stand is magnificent as I discover tastes and colors I never knew existed.

8. Until the LDS leadership openly and publicly apologizes for the hurt they have caused to women, Blacks and LGBTQ members, I can no longer take the leaders seriously. Not only sincere apologies are needed but reparative actions such as diversifying the leadership should also take place.

9. I can no longer accept the double standards I see at every corner of the Mormon doctrines and the actions of leaders and members such as, "We love everyone but we pick and choose who can fully be accepted among us based on gender, race or sexual orientation" and "Let's make sure we focus on the Syrian refugees crisis but totally ignore the fact that we are tearing families apart and causing deaths among our own people."

A couple of years ago I questioned why such an intelligent and articulate black woman of particular beauty would feel right in the LDS church. I'm very glad to hear that she's out. I love this part:

"Fear, shame and guilt no longer determine my actions. The threat of eternal damnation is lost on me. I believe we create our own heaven or hell right here on earth and, if there is an afterlife, whatever we created will follow us."

It's wonderful when mormons exercise their right to think!

If there were a ghawd, it's brutal to suppose that he achieved that position because he always got his home teaching done every month and never questioned anything he was told to do.

100% Pure awesomeness.

I have very mixed emotions about this. Sure I'm happy for her in a way. Most of us relate to her emotions of feeling like she can soar for the first time in her life.

But it just shows that there really isn't a place in TSCC for any progressive thinkers. They are so totally circling the wagons and only the most fundamentalist of the group are going to be on the inside circle. Those of us who have family members, especially young children and grandchildren, being pulled into that circle have no hope of them being allowed to ever think for themselves.

Sure, what we really want is to see them get out. For some, this road the church is on will help and that is good. But for those who don't, it makes it even scarier to watch.

So... What you're really saying is that the inside of the wagon circle is kind of a black hole, sucking in the most fundamental of Mormons, the pull of gravity never allowing them to escape. It's scary to think about, that's for sure.

Love it!!

Nothing would make me happier than to have ANYONE in my immediate family want to talk to me about their doubts. It is as if by doing so, they will be contaminated by me. None will even admit to having ANY doubts. It.just.is.not.talked.about!

I heard through a source that one of my extended family members was leaving the church. I reached out via email to offer to talk with them.....crickets.

I read her wonderful editorial. I wondered about her husband. Is he leaving, too? I hope so.

Point #5 is awesome!

#5 is exactly how I have felt since leaving. I try to explain it to TBM parents and they just don't get it.

That she will grace us one day here behind the Zion Curtain with a presentation at an Exmormon Conference...

Hi again SL Cabbie, I hope you're well. I'm not trying to appear as a stalker here, but I'm not even sure if you saw my last message that I wrote you - about the lady fare you spoke to? If you have a way that I could personally contact her, I'd be grateful. My email address is lotrartist@hotmail.com
Beth

This article is so nice. Wish I could share it, but my nomo friends wouldn't get it and my momo "friends" and family would get offended.

I think #5 was the best! Yes, I too have wings now and life is full of wonderful things I never knew existed!!

so if you decide to leave any other religion is it still called a defection ?

Dave the Atheist Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> so if you decide to leave any other religion is it
> still called a defection ?

That was my first thought, too. Defection is glaringly something I think of to describe escaping a dangerous CULT, or going AWOL from a military assignment, or to do an about-face from a political regime. Rather than just to 'quit', like from any other church. ESCAPED would be a better word :)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/03/2016 05:37PM by cinda.

Her well thought out reasons will hit home with some, and others will just slam the door shut harder.

My observation: the LDS Church is started to become a group of hard core, orthodox believers that are a little to a lot quirky.
For the most part, the work horses, the cream of the crop, the real thinkers have left the LDS Church. The geriatric leaders at the top have become more and more out of touch with the real world. They are incapable or relating to the newest generations as they are so different from them.
Consequently, the LDS Church, in an effort to stem the out-go will continue to tighten the screws on minor things and change their emphasis to make it seem more main-stream Christian.

Some religions don't look kindly on people who leave. They just kill them. Others are very lenient and don't care which church a person attends as long as they are Christian or claim to be. There will continue to be strange rituals practiced by religious people around the world. The traditions are held tightly: clothing, food, offerings, etc.

The LDS Church has taken the position that they need to discredit anyone who leaves and that will somehow stop others from leaving. Rather humorous to watch them call people: disaffected, apostates, etc. Really? That's the best you can come up with?

My view is that their position and claims are so weak and the testimonies so fragile, there is an undercurrent of fear that it can all fall apart in a nanosecond.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/03/2016 03:47PM by SusieQ#1.

most African-Americans have a very dim opinion of LD$, Inc.