Because I'm the one with a secret online alias venting all his frustrations in an online community of like-minded people. Many members of the church glance at our forums and our Facebook groups and use the word "hate" to describe what they feel emanating from us. What's your take on this?

I do hate Mormonism, and I've met many hateful Mormons. So they can call me a hater all they want, but I didn't start the fire. It's been burning since Joe Smith kindled it.

If you play with Joe's spirit of god expect to be burned like a fire.

Don...channeling Billy Joel...I love it!

Darn right. That song's all about being blamed for the mess we were born into. It's not my fault that Mormonism is shitty. I would never have chosen it had I a choice. Now I'm supposed to leave it alone after it molested me with prejudice?

How many mothers who have lost children to drunk drivers join MADD? Hell, that's how it was started. How many mothers who lost children to gun violence join Moms Demand Action? How many former alcoholics become AA sponsors? How many former convicts join the lecture circuit to help young kids avoid the same mistakes they made? And how many people who are still going through drug and alcohol problems join AA or NA or other support groups?

Those of us who were really fucked up by mormonism came here first to find support, to recover, to move on. Many of us feel it is important to be here and be the support for others who are newly traveling down that road. Anymore, bringing up the old stories is not just cathartic, but a fun trip down memory lane. We can laugh at ourselves very often and shake our heads wondering where our brains were.

But many of us will also ALWAYS be dealing with the collateral damage of mormonism. Usually with family relationships, divorce (from having married the wrong person or at the wrong time in our lives due to mormon pressure), or financial concerns directly caused by mormon indoctrination (quitting school to get married, popping out too many kids, paying tithing instead of saving, etc.)

So yeah, if that appears hateful to those who are still under the spell of Joseph's Myth, so be it. I really don't care about those people. If they need to think exmos are hateful in order to justify the abuse they receive from a moneygrubbing cult, then whatever. I care about the people who need help recovering and renegotiating their live in the aftermath of that abuse.

Most of the time in the mainstream Christian churches, you can switch denominations, go inactive, or walk away altogether without it being a big deal. No one will chase you down. In the more moderate and liberal denominations, you can say openly that you disagree with certain teachings or doctrines without anyone batting an eyelash. You can donate whatever you wish without anyone denying you "blessings." Confession of sins is not a publicly shaming, punitive process. You can volunteer your time to church jobs or not as you see fit.

That is not the case in Mormonism. That is the reason this board exists.

Howdy Dodger! You probably post here because, like all of us, you've been hurt by a cult and need to visit with folks who have made their way out.

I think TBMs automatically look at any critical information about the church as being "anti-Mormon" or "hateful." Fuck that! We're not against individuals, but rather against an organization that uses and abuses individuals. We don't attack people as people, we attack people, like Jeffrey Holland, in his capacity as a leader who abuses others. I don't see him so much as an individual, but rather as an automaton who engages in "Hollandizing" (thanks BlueOrchid) to keep innocents in a cult that destroys families and marginalized people.

Yes, I fuckin' hate Mormonism and its leaders! But, I work with many normal latter-day saints who have no idea about my feelings for their church. I vent here so I can work professionally with them. The Boner.

This. You are here because they won't accept you in real life. It's THEIR IRL hate and intolerance that makes places like this necessary, as a safe place where you can speak freely and have a real conversation about important things.

What we say here makes too much sense and it rustles their jimmies. What they feel as hate emanating from us is really their own cognitive dissonance and anger that they've repressed so hard it feels like it's not even coming from inside.

I wouldn't say we hate TBMs as a whole. Some we are quite cross with, others, we feel sorry for. Some, like applesauce's recently deceased egg donor, are worthy of hating for the things they've done on behalf of, or even outside of the cult's grip.

We hate the overall institution of the cult and believe the world would be better off without it, but again, why are TBMs so uncomfortable with us? If we were truly hateful crackpots (like anti Semitic groups, for example) wouldn't it be easy to just dismiss and ignore us? But they can't. They feel something, like Morpheus says in the Matrix, a "splinter in your mind" that won't go away.

They see us trying to tell them the truth as a hateful act because it threatens their cozy assurance that they are elite souls with an exalted immortal future, and having to face the dreary real world without that cotton wool around their psyche feels distressing.

TL;DR = just by existing we try to take their spiritual binky away and they feel threatened.

Edited once for spelling



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/05/2016 06:51PM by ptbarnum.

That's on them.

I got out because I'm smart, lucky and insist on going forward always.

I'm here because I learn things, laugh, make others laugh (consciously and unconsciously), and learn the news (to know how to relate to those still trapped) and assist others in finding their inner reality and outward happiness.

If Mormonism was Christian, honest, and true these boards wouldn't exist.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/05/2016 10:35PM by readwrite.

I've noticed in my experience that exmormons seem a lot more hateful and bigoted to TBMs when it's too obvious for their own comfort that we have a point. Then they have to fight back the rational thoughts brewing in their own minds and, darn it, it's all our depraved and evil fault that they're even there.

Well, I guess I am an idealogue, of a sort, if that ideology is a steadfast refusal to be dominated by by beliefs that have no suppoeting evidence.

I could post a list of my limits I won't exceed, one of which is, I will never bend a knee to or at the direction of a Mormon con man.

I find con men to be disgusting parasites. I only "hate" them as much as they cause harm to others; a con man need not be a Mormon, but all Mormon "leaders" are con men. They actively plot to maintain their victims in ignorance, the hallmark of a confidence game.

Ongoing harm requires ongoing support. Cold Dodger, you are here in secret because they have threatened your status in your community and family. The only way to be your authentic self, peacefully, is to find a new community, new family. These are not conditions of your choosing.

You are here for support in being authentic, suffering ongoing harm, and the only "rules" are basically about the golden rule.

It's not about hate. It's about not succumbing to evil.

My take on this would be that I don't give a shit what they

feel is emanating from us. If its hate, so be it. We've earned

the right to hate the church... so what do we care what they

think of us?

If I had 10 percent or more of my money for decades given to a bunch of frauds I would be angry too.....let them think what they want. I am a nevermo and am ANGRY my daughter (convert) and hubby are wasting their money on JS. They already filed bankruptcy once and are now back on their feet.