I have known my wife for 52 years!!! She is as TBM as they come. Closely related to one of the big wigs.

Two years ago I began studying historical information and came to the conclusion that it's all a bunch of BS!! In the beginning it made me so mad I'd been duped all these years that I began telling everyone I knew about the crap. I went from TBM to exmo in about 30 seconds. But damn, I was mad. Those bastards know for a fact that they sell complete and total snake oil. That fact alone made me even angrier.

Looking back on it, I should have gone about it differently, but it's best not to look in the rear view mirror, I guess. Anyway, I sent a kind letter to the kids telling them I no longer believed. What a manure storm that resulted in. They just outright abandoned me. I love the grandkids. They love me. Even still, the grandkids love me.

This past year I could not even go to the family Thanksgiving or Christmas parties because the kids said they would boycott them if I did. My wife chose to go. I ate Thanksgiving at a local restaurant. I spent Christmas alone.

Now my wife wants a divorce. I love her dearly. I thought she was my best friend. We do everything together. We love all the same things. She said the 'church' and her eternal life is so much more important than me. I asked her how her eternal life is affected. I still pray with her twice a day. I go to church with her. I let her read her scriptures to me because it's important to her and I want her to know I love her.

She says she can't even be in my presence any longer because it reminds her I don't believe. Her bishop has the opinion that god should be chosen over a spouse every time. Serious? Moron.

My guts are on fire. I am so sad. I'm heartbroken. I am struggling to give a crap about anything. Crying right now!!! Can't sleep. Can't eat. Can't think at work. I'm lost. I hate the a-holes that call themselves men of god? Which god? Whose god? What god? God!!!!

Those lying sacks of sorry excuses for men who run the 'church' have the audacity to write some stupid proclamation about families. What hypocrites and liars they are. They successfully ripped my family apart.

What am I supposed to do now? How do I replace the emotional connections? What's the purpose in living? Who do I cook for? Whose back do I rub? Who do I dance with? WHO?

Thanks, tommy. Thanks Jowels. You guys are the best. I do believe in karma...

incognitotoday Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thanks, tommy. Thanks Jowels. You guys are the
> best. I do believe in karma...

If you do then stick around for more Mormon bad press and the decline and fall of the Kolobian Empire.

I'm sorry for your troubles. LDS, Inc. is NOT a family-friendly church.

If I were you I would pack up and move someplace extremely pleasant. Maybe Florida. Get yourself involved in lots of activities. I doubt that you will lack for female company. In time, invite the grandkids to visit you.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/20/2016 02:54PM by summer.

52 years and now this. What? Did your wife ever see you as you or only as an appendage of the church?

This is disgusting. One of the worst I've read here. So sorry man, but boy are you right about everything you wrote.

I personally am tired of waiting for Karma to kick in as one by one those old disgusting bastards die off getting away with it all after their years of being worshiped by the Mormon masses.

I'll bet you are going to have a few grandkids side with you. Keep that hope.

Your wife's bishop is giving council contrary to the gospel that is preached in the NT. Also council contrary to what the handbook of instructions says.

see 1 Corinthians 7.

I am terribly sorry for your position. Family centered my arse. There is zero time for family when you are 100% devoted to TSCC. You story is so heart breaking, You can be a part of my family. If you have no place to go you will always be welcome at my families Thanksgiving, and Christmas.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/20/2016 03:29PM by scaredhusband.

She's not going to turn away from your apostate money, though.

Funny how that works. Hate the apostate, love his money. So much for trusting in ghawd to take care of her.

Well, judging from experience, she kinda can trust in the church to line her up with some widower looking to take your place, and have a happy mormon family again. I just saw this take place in a friend's family. She knew the guy a week or two and they got married. ...probably because he looks to be on his last legs. She's 67, he's 78. But she nailed down a 'life estate' in his condo, so she got what she was probably looking for.

Life: it's an adventure!

Thanks, scaredhusband and all others.

It helped to vent. What I've come to believe is that almost every MoRON marriage is more of a role than an actual loving relationship. Image is everything.

I honestly thought we were the best of friends and all the tenderness shown between us was authentic. It was for me. Blind as a bat.

As she was warming up to the divorce I showed her the scriptures in the NT about staying with an honorable, loving spouse who wasn't a believer. But then she fasted and went to the temple where god confirmed for her that she must leave. 'He' told her to leave me for her eternal safety. That's some kool god.

I suppose there are reasons for divorce, but a difference of belief systems is beyond the pale.

It's all about image.

She married the church. Your friendship was a side effect. So sorry. My wife married me. It is tough to find out the church has primacy.

Sorry, incognitotoday...my heart goes out to you, Brother. Reading stories like yours just pi$$es me right off. Hang in there, buddy. You have people who care about you right here on this message board. Come here anytime...

It sounds like you met your wife half way+ (out of love too!), yet she chose to stomp on your gift. How cruel. I'm sorry your wife doesn't know how good she has it. She did a very cold-hearted thing. Not Christlike at all. Whatever struggles she is having, she doesn't need to hurt the husband who shows her love.

Goodness. I feel your pain. Seems as if divorce is coming. Silently gather yourself legally. How far are you from retirement? Social Security? What IRA/403b etc do you have in common? Fight the confiscation of your hard earned resources. If she wants to leave she has to stand on her own. Fight this aspect tooth and nail. She is leaving and that includes leaving the comfort you have provided- house, car, long term income.

If you work for a corporation can you seek transfer? State agency can you relocate in a different part of state? She'll want the house-she should compensate you for half of the equity.

Once you draw legal battle lines she may " re-evaluate " but you will be a second class citizen in your family. As much as I hate to break it to you grandparents have no legal rights in most states and seeking any contact can be eliminated without cause by parents.
Gstorman

Upon further reflection...

You explained to your wife, perhaps a bit too explosively, that you had reached the conclusion that the church is not true. But you made no demands upon her that she agree with you. In fact, you said that you would continue to support her as she continued to participate.

Now... if the church were true, you'd think that she'd want to keep you close, so that eventually you'd see the truth and return. Possessed of the truth, why would she or her bishop care what you think? If you're not *sinning*, you'll die, get to either spirit prison or paradise, and know the truth! You won't need a testimony, you'll have proof.

Where do church members get off 'punishing' apostates?

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Where do church members get off 'punishing'
> apostates?

Wickedness never was happiness in the Mormon mindset. They really believe and are trying to maximize their happiness potential.

Please know that I believe I know how the pain that you are experiencing feels, at least on one level. I've lost several close family relationships, children, who have chosen the cult over a relationship with me, the apostate. I can relate to the time, emotion, and love that you have shared with your wife and other family members over the years, only to have this be the outcome.

I just know that it hurts on so many levels so very much. I am aware. and I know that you are aware of it also, that people can and do change when you least expect it (just as you did), but until that happens, the hurt is there. As of yet, I have not had one of my TBM children change their mind, nor seen a grandchild take this road. But I do have hope.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I cannot believe that someone would give up a loving partner of 50+ years. It really does NOT speak well of her.

Married a little longer. Exact same boat.

I've had this thought, but never voiced it. I think the time has arrived to say what I think.

"I really hate the Mormon church and everything it stands for."

So sorry friend...yeah i know a bit about this...theres an old fella goes by zadok went through the same crap...seven or eight months later she wanted back...have to admire the guy taking her back..not sure my pride would let me...dam pride anyway...those prees dud holders that may replace you might not quite flip the switch...all looks good from the highway...separation or divorce beats the seeds out of non speaking room mates...hang tough friend...ducks in a row...keep your chin up...ive read way too many here that found someone loved them for them not some bogus church lead by pompous windbags...by your vent id guess your worth more than the windbags...its gonna hurt...like bashing your head into a wall..itll feel dam good to stop...ive got grandkids ive seen three times in almost twenty years...yup...second fiddle to a dam plyg...let that one sink in...and i enjoy my two feet of the ol kingsize..years since the springs creaked...sure is quiet out here...dope or booze..you need some sleep friend...you NEED some sleep...just roll her off if she wont letcha...jk..i know its just not funny...times like this it doesnt hurt to try to laugh at shit

You might like this guy's videos:

newcarabu
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohMv6zZCmYQ

He's great at bringing some humor into the way it is being a Mormon/ExMormon, especially as an Exmormon dad and grandparent to ungrateful Mormon children, living in Utah's insane CULTure.

Yes, what wonderful advice, to choose god over a spouse. Because god is so much fun to hang out with. Uh huh. He keeps you warm at night, pays your bills, raises your kids, and gives you sex. Yeah, god's a real charmer, and handsome too.

But seriously, I am very sorry you are suffering so badly due the cult. Better days can't come soon enough. It's so destructive!

She doesn't deserve you. You have integrity.

Good chance she finds out the hard way, after you're gone.

This is why we who have figured this scam out can't afford to be silent.

TBMs need to see that thinking people are running like hell, and maybe they will start asking why.

All of these gutless bastards will reap what they sow. You just swallowed two red pills at once. All these years the Church was using you, and your wife was using you to get to the CK. If you were a horse she'd have to shoot you.

Dogs and cats. They think they know each other.

So, what now? It gets better. You've been spared from squandering the rest of your life only to get to the other side and find out then. You are entering a brave new world. It's like learning to walk all over again. But you'll be running before you know it.

What comes around goes around and the 15 + a whole lot more TBMs will rot in Hell.

In the meantime, I feel bad for you. Your wife told you outright that you are not number one. You deserve more. Give her the divorce but make sure you get what you have put into it.

She expects you to come running back and apologizing. Well F*CK her royal ass. Get yourself a new woman and make sure TBM ex knows about it. Tell her you deserve a woman who put YOU as number one.

You sound like a great guy. Other women will want to go with you.

One other thought that will let her know where SHE now stands - you start the divorce proceedings on grounds of desertion. And make sure your financial assets remain yours. She choose to desert you so F*CK her. If she doesn't have enough money to get a decent lawyer, looks like you will win. Looks like she didn't think this through. If you file for the divorce it is going to shock her, but too bad, since she already shocked you. I really hate her, can you tell? She choose an EVIL CULT over a nice kind husband of 52 years. As far as I'm concerned she deserves what she gets which should be nothing. Since the kids hate you so much, tell them to support her. Then sit back and watch the sparks fly!!

She is one of those who should be on the corner holding a sign saying "will kiss the EVIL CULT's ass for food."
Don't forget for even one minute who runs the CULT, Lucifer. Burn your Lucifer Priesthood Temple clothes on your front lawn now or on the church's lawn as everyone is arriving for Lucerferian services. Let everyone know how you feel about the CULT.

The bishie who gave her advice is an excellent example of why the EVIL CULT doesn't have REAL clergy. Some car salesman [or whatever] can never give advice of this nature to anyone. They are not trained to do this. They go bragging about how "they have no paid clergy." Well, this is the result.

Of course your wife fasted and decided the car salesman was right. Stupid bitch.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 05/20/2016 10:52PM by verilyverily.

Some version of this scenario keeps happening again and again and the leaders of the Mormon Church have never said anything at all about it. In general they seem to be afraid to touch real problems like these, as though they'll be contaminated somehow by drawing attention to the negative side effects growing all over the church that they run. "Come on guys!" I'd tell them... Some things are more than PR!

Again, they're absolutely aware that these scenarios keep playing out and still they're unwilling to do anything about it. I think it's obvious the leaders of LDS Church are only in this for themselves and, being unwilling to change anything with families in between, they're worthy to be found despicable.

I mean... Wow! To foster an environment where people just give up on their spouses who they've long claimed to love to please a church that could care less about them personally... By any measurement this is all just plain wrong. I've seen this happen multiple times now in the Morridor in my own life and all I can say, in the face of that, is I wish I could be confident I wouldn't have to witness it again.

Speaking for myself I'd be glad you keep posting if it still helps to write this thing out. Hang in there and remember that many people wish you well!

If you were in the Fossil 15, which of the two outcomes would you prefer?

If you tell the TBM spouse to put up with the apostate spouse, the TBM is likely to be exposed to a better way to live life, whereas the apostate spouse is likely to have zero difficulty resisting a return to the morg.

Letting (encouraging?) the TBM spouse (to) chose church over the apostate spouse serves to again insulate the TBM spouse from what we silly apostates refer to as anything but the same ol' lies.

So realistically, there should be no expectation that the Fossil 15 will ever take the position that marriage and family are more important than taking a stand against losing that sacred testimony.

Sounds like the bitch I was married to for 20 years. Sounds like the church I resent with all my heart. I feel your pain brother. I thought I was going to die. Tell ya what worked for me. Start over. I love being married so I decided what kind of lady I would be most happy with and there are lots of wonderful women out there who are not LDS. Within a few years I found a young beautiful angel who sincerely appreciates and respects me as a person. I have never been happier. Never go back to the cult because it is all lies. Make sure you get your half of the assets because you deserve them after what she has put you through. She will always think you are a bastard no matter how kind you are.

How are you supposed to call her forth by her secret name into the celestial kingdom? She has to find a new priesthood holder to get her in the gates!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vexsnjv8hV0

Eroel 1.9 The Mormon church holds your family in hostage to keep you from leaving.

What astounds me though is the TBM Women in the Church cannot be a whole woman without a priesthood worthy man. Women are denied being whole. They must not be a licked cupcake but they cant be stale either. If a Woman can't have Children in their prime birthing years, they are looked down on. They are looked at as making the wrong or selfish choices. In other words, they cannot be without the priesthood to guide and direct them.

In the Temple Women make a covenant to obey their worthy priesthood man! They don't answer to God, just a man. This is tragic because Women must devoid themselves of their humanity. They must be trained and groomed to believe they have no humanity. This idea is disgusting.

Sorry about your wife. She is acting out of fear by lashing out in anger and threats. She's married to the Church Dogma!

I'm in the same boat, my wife tells me I must tell the kids. I'm not sure if any way is without some pain.

Edit: spelling



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/21/2016 02:50AM by cognitivedissonance.

Thanks for reminding me why I hate these sumbitches who stand before a fawning audience every 6 months to gloss over their depraved indifference with flowery bullcrap. The blind lead the blind straight to hell. What else can you call it when you crush human souls and make them trade their divine birthright for a bill of goods? Steppenwolf may as well have been singing about the Q15 in "The pusher".

Sick fucking death cult.

My heart is breaking for you. The saddest words are "I thought..." I also thought--I thought my husband loved me above all else. I thought I could tell him anything. I was so wrong. I fear for the future, I fear ending up this same way. I also hope he loves me above all else, but I know I may not have a happy ending. I'm grieving for you right now, I'm even crying. I'm so sorry.

That's a pretty weak and shoddy testimony your wife has. So afraid of her eternal life being lost because she lives with a non-believer. Wow! Just Wow! According to Mormon doctrine, she can only lose her celestial status by her own actions, not those of another, not even a husband. That's some pretty strong fear (not faith) promoting religion. It also suggests she has a pretty soft spot for you if you could so easily take her away from her long held faith. Think about that for a moment.

My mother lived with my never Mormon father all of his life. He was actively anti-Mormon and trashed the Mormon church every chance he got. My mother held onto her faith even after my Dad died. She hadn't been to church for twenty years but still held onto her faith. And my mother was a convert at age 45 who was never indoctrinated in the Mormon culture regions. What changed my mother's view of Mormonism when she got to her 80's? Me, her daughter, showing her all the facts. Your wife better be more afraid of the grandkids than you because my mother had a much softer spot for me than for Dad. However, she loved my dad immensely and put her marriage commitment ahead of her church membership because she loved her husband and she made her promise to him first. Mom was rational and logical about the family if not about her religion. She believed in family first.

Gosh I'm feeling bad for you. I've spent many a Thanksgiving and Christmas alone because of family disharmony. I'm not yet in your age bracket but I'd still rather have the holidays celebrating being out of Mormonism with you, or alone, rather than with my dorky family members. Here's to you brave one. You deserve an award for bravery, honesty, and fortitude. Can't be easy. Hang in there. We are behind you all the way.

As a nevermo, I can't speak from personal experience about the church aspect in your heartbreaking story but I am so very sorry that you're going through this painful time. I can tell you, though, that it will get better and your pain will lessen over time. It is her loss for choosing that family destroying cult over you! Stay true to yourself. Every day will begin to get a little better. I can certainly understand your anger toward the church and admire your tenacity in, like you say, " going from TBM to exmo in about 30 seconds". Clearly, you are an intelligent and articulate man who has much to offer. Understandably, your entire world as you have known it, has just totally fallen apart and you have every right to have the feelings you do. I am sincerely sorry that you are having to go through this painful time. Post here often if it helps and keep us informed as to how you are doing. We are rooting for you and are here for you. Stay strong.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/21/2016 01:41PM by cinda.