Those are the questions I have always had about the disappearance of the gold plates.

There's a long drawn out story about how Joe got the plates. It took years and numerous visitations from an assortment of heavenly beings.

When the plates disappeared, there's silence. Nothing. They just ceased to exist. No stories of visits, or conversations. No visions, no questions asked. You'd think that at the very least Joe would be concerned about how he was going to finish translating a book he no longer had. Nope,he just got out his old treasure digging rock and went to work. Nobody seemed to be bothered by this particularly. The scribes didn't seem to think anything of it.

You'd think this would be a very BIG deal. At the very least some details about how it all went down. Crickets.

They were copied digitally and are being stored in the cloud.

I have to say that's the best explanation i've heard.

They were copied dogmatically and are being bored into Mormons' heads.

"At the very least some details about how it all went down. Crickets."

After their truth was let free in Elizabethan English the empty shell of pure gold was worthless.

Funny how Smith was tempted when they were untranslated but once they were, the temptation to keep the gold just vanished like they did when an explanation was needed.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/23/2016 06:08PM by Elder Berry.

"After their truth was let free in Elizabethan English the empty shell of pure gold was worthless."

That's a great line!

Brilliant explanation.

Brilliant explanation Pooped.

They're all stored in the cave, on the knoll cumorah, with the sword of Laban, unsheathed, guarding them.

As a convert, the first story I was told was that Angel Moroni took them from Joseph for safe keeping (in heaven?). Not quite sure where.

Later I was told they are in the Hill Cumorah with Laban's sword and a lot of other neat stuff. I think there is even a painting in the old BoM showing someone in the book vault that seems to be the Hill Cumorah. I've always wondered why someone hasn't demolished that Hill Since it's been identified as being in New York state near where Joseph lived. Wish I hadn't given away my dad's metal detector!

Same reason no one has dug out all the rooms and rooms of Nephite gold in the Dream Mine! aka the Relief Mine.

That's the first question tourists ask when they to the HC.

When I was visiting there, they told me that about half of the hill is owned by a farmer that won't sell. Don't know if that's true or not.

They also told me they'd been over that hill with a fine tooth comb, and all kinds high end technology to try and find a cave or anything unusual buried there. Nothing.

What a shock.

As I've said before, that's one thing that bugs me a lot: the plates were never *from* heaven, so why did they go *back* there?? Did anyone tell investigators on their mission that that they were *taken back to Heaven* by an angel?

The church digs itself deeper into a hole when it admits that JS didn't really need the plates to "translate" anyway, despite all the tall tales told over the years, so why the big dealio? Can't have it both ways.

Wait, of course they can have it both ways, they're the COJCOLDS!!

Heavenly Father stole the keys to my cabin two weeks ago. Like Joe, I didn't make a big deal out of it.

I was always a bit disconcerted by the disappearance of the plates, so I was quite excited when, in seminary, the instructor taught us the background to the Book of Abraham. Surely the church would have presered such valuable documents, I thought to myself. Surely this would prove ol'Joe a prophet, I thought. So, the question was asked, I don't recall if by myself or another, and the answer given: "No, the original papyrus have been lost, destroyed in a fire in a museum."

"Tough break", I thought. It would be years before I came across some information on the internet, and realized that my seminary teacher was a fucking liar. Dissapearing plates and "inspired" translations were all it took for me go from being a suspicious but attending member to a person with an intense hatred for that dishonest, manipulative cult.

Let's see.....written (sort-of), actually plagerising the song
"There Was A Boy".

Once upon a time
In the land of Oopstate New York.....

There was a boy,
A very strange enchanted boy,
Who traveled (lying) very far,
Very far indeed.

And, when this boy,
This magical full-of-tales boy,
Connived the story, from white sand,
Of Magic Plates
Magic Plates, indeed.

He was flying high,
Could not believe his magic luck,
That some believed he saw Their God,
And told to write a book
with Magic Plates,
Magic Plates, indeed.

So, in his head,
He used those magic plates,
Those very strange "Golden" plates,
To connive his sandy tale,
His sandy tale indeed.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/23/2016 09:47PM by presleynfactsrock.

I need to get off my butt and start getbusylivin's Mormon Tourism Inc., which will sell tours to look for the plates.

They could be anywhere, based on updated revelation--Samoa, Keokuk, Paris, Uruguay, Mongolia, Pittsburgh...

All that's missing is the updated revelation. Something vague would be best--i.e., "The Prophet has revealed that the plates have reappeared on Earth! The exact location is as yet unknown..."

(Side business: getbusylivin's Consecrated Metal Detectors, LLC. Buy one today and start looking for the plates *in your own back yard!* Only $239.99! [+ $59.99 s/h])

I need to take a meeting with some of the money guys in the church. Assure them that, if we get the aforementioned "revelation," they'll get their usual 10%. A little scratch-my-back-I'll-scratch-yours, if you catch my drift.

Come on people.
The GP are in the Cave of Wonders along with Aladdin's lamp, the sword of Laban and Luke's light saber.
Geez.... do some research.